A friend of mine fears that she has no standing in the BDSM community. She's had some criticism and it's made her question whether she belongs in the lifestyle. This got me to thinking and, as often happens with me, my comment on her blog got a little long so I decided it needed its own post. ;)
What anyone does in their own personal life should always be that: their OWN personal life. No one can dictate, no matter how much they think they know better than you, who you are or even what label(s) you claim. If your entire kink is to say that you're a slave without doing anything slave-like and your partner is cool with it, then so be it.
Negotiate the rules & stick to your boundaries. I'm not into any verbal humiliation, giving or receiving. However, I've known those who claim that verbal humiliation is imperative. For me to hook-up with someone like that would take quite a bit of give and take. If they want to verbally humiliate me, that's a no go but I'd be more flexible if I was doling out the verbal humiliation. It's not my kink, but it wouldn't upset me like being verbally humiliated. If you know for a fact that beatings make you angry or just plain hurt without any pleasure, then they'd be on your "do not" list. If you like bondage, cute outfits & sexually pleasuring your partner, those are on your "yes please!" list. Never fear to renegotiate. Of course, that should NEVER occur during a scene, but afterwards, when you've both cooled down, take a moment and talk things through. In fact, it’s not a bad idea to always take some time to talk between scenes. Each lover, each scene, is unique. Yes it's play, but it's also learning the other person.
All relationships thrive on good communication. Poly & kink relationships are no different. They absolutely NEED strong communication. Does that mean everyone's going to automatically agree? No. But at least you'll know where the other person(s) coming from, what they want & what they will not tolerate.
One of the reasons I don't play in public is that I have no desire to be criticized by strangers or even those I know who are not involved in the scene. I run my scenes my way and not by committee unless it’s the committee of me and my sub. (or Dom, depending on who I’m with.)
As far as living the life 24/7, I don't. While someone may come along who'll change my mind on this, it would take some convincing.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Bad Mistress...
Crumpet is a good sub... most of the time. When we were shopping, he carried all my purchases as we wandered through the store. He even stayed a few steps behind me. But when we were heading to the store he said I was a bad Mistress. Apparently when he said he didn't want to go to the store in his panties, stockings and the garter belt he just bought, he really wanted me to make him.
It's true... I have been taking things a bit slow with Crumpet since he's new to the D/s lifestyle. And okay, I'll admit it, I've also been a bit lazy with his training. When I said something about wanting a massage, he said he wasn't very good at them. Instead of just saying, "fine, whatever," I should have insisted he try and given him direction & critique or punished him for not doing what I wanted.
Part of it is that I'm enjoying just hanging out with him, getting to know him and loving him. I like the relative ease our relationship has. We even have official date nights: Wednesdays & Saturdays. This adds a certain level of commitment and allows me to schedule things better. We're getting closer, understanding each other better and the sex is amazing. I know that pushing the D/s element too far & too fast could bring on unwanted complications. I'm fine with taking things slow. But if he's feeling like I'm not doing a good job, then perhaps I should step things up a notch.
Another part is that I'm just so damn tired after work. But that's not a good excuse... not even much of a reason.
I had a sub who called me a "Sensual Mistress" and, while he meant it as a compliment, there's also a negative side to it. I am constantly thinking of what would be sensually pleasing for both myself and my sub and not thinking enough about the ways a sub could benefit my life. While it would be nice to have a sub that anticipates my needs & wants as any good sub should, I have to remember that Crumpet's still new and I have to train him. I feel that we're definitely at a place where he trusts me enough to train him to my desires as his Mistress.
So what is an appropriate punishment for a sub who tells you that you're a bad Dom? I have some ideas of what I'm going to do to him on Wednesday, but I'm definitely open to suggestions. ;)
It's true... I have been taking things a bit slow with Crumpet since he's new to the D/s lifestyle. And okay, I'll admit it, I've also been a bit lazy with his training. When I said something about wanting a massage, he said he wasn't very good at them. Instead of just saying, "fine, whatever," I should have insisted he try and given him direction & critique or punished him for not doing what I wanted.
Part of it is that I'm enjoying just hanging out with him, getting to know him and loving him. I like the relative ease our relationship has. We even have official date nights: Wednesdays & Saturdays. This adds a certain level of commitment and allows me to schedule things better. We're getting closer, understanding each other better and the sex is amazing. I know that pushing the D/s element too far & too fast could bring on unwanted complications. I'm fine with taking things slow. But if he's feeling like I'm not doing a good job, then perhaps I should step things up a notch.
Another part is that I'm just so damn tired after work. But that's not a good excuse... not even much of a reason.
I had a sub who called me a "Sensual Mistress" and, while he meant it as a compliment, there's also a negative side to it. I am constantly thinking of what would be sensually pleasing for both myself and my sub and not thinking enough about the ways a sub could benefit my life. While it would be nice to have a sub that anticipates my needs & wants as any good sub should, I have to remember that Crumpet's still new and I have to train him. I feel that we're definitely at a place where he trusts me enough to train him to my desires as his Mistress.
So what is an appropriate punishment for a sub who tells you that you're a bad Dom? I have some ideas of what I'm going to do to him on Wednesday, but I'm definitely open to suggestions. ;)
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Drumming & Dreaming
On summer solstice, Crumpet & I went to a drum circle at Pixie's lovely house. The house has high ceilings and a large living room to play in. A group of drummers gathered, bringing dishes for potluck and we drummed. There were all sorts of drums as well as other percussive instruments. The rhythms were varied and unique with starts and stops and sliding from one beat to the next. The swell of the vibrations got me all tingly. (Even though I happen to know that several in attendance were, shall we say, sensual beings, I did nothing about my rising libido since there are children in the group.)
Once Crumpet and I were back at his place and the kids were tucked away in their beds, we're quickly naked, attacking each other with mouth and hands. I mounted him and rode him to ecstasy. I cum over and over again, pulling at his nipples as if they were reigns. It's rare that I let go entirely of my concern for my lovers pleasure. But that night, it was all about me. I put his hands back onto my breasts when they dropped off, directing him to pinch, squeeze and caress as it enhanced each orgasm.
That night my dream was of a different sort of drum circle. Not all in attendance were drumming; some were the drums. Each body part made a unique sound; each beating brought on a variety of vocalizations from the human drums. Some of the drums were bound with ropes that would have to be tightened or loosened depending on the sound desired. One woman was tied up with fishing line over gauze bearing a million little bells. A man, suspended from the ceiling, had a cowbell hanging from his balls. The music we made with this human drum circle was amazingly lovely.
Once Crumpet and I were back at his place and the kids were tucked away in their beds, we're quickly naked, attacking each other with mouth and hands. I mounted him and rode him to ecstasy. I cum over and over again, pulling at his nipples as if they were reigns. It's rare that I let go entirely of my concern for my lovers pleasure. But that night, it was all about me. I put his hands back onto my breasts when they dropped off, directing him to pinch, squeeze and caress as it enhanced each orgasm.
That night my dream was of a different sort of drum circle. Not all in attendance were drumming; some were the drums. Each body part made a unique sound; each beating brought on a variety of vocalizations from the human drums. Some of the drums were bound with ropes that would have to be tightened or loosened depending on the sound desired. One woman was tied up with fishing line over gauze bearing a million little bells. A man, suspended from the ceiling, had a cowbell hanging from his balls. The music we made with this human drum circle was amazingly lovely.
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Sexual Fantasies
"Weird" Sex Fantasies, And Why They're Good For You
After reading this article (linked above) a friend sent me, I had to post it. It got me thinking about my own fantasies… particularly when I’m masturbating. One weird trend I've noticed with myself is that when I'm in a relationship with someone who fulfills a particular kink, i.e. dating Crumpet who's exploring his submissive side, I tend to have two main types of fantasies.
The first type involve my current lover and, often, include some of our sexual escapades. These fantasies are grounded in reality. I'm reliving things we've done, sensations I've felt... the feel of his teeth on my nipples... my straddling him... binding him... clawing him... the feel of his hips against mine as he thrusts deeper and harder inside me...
The other fantasies tend to be of an unknown person (or persons) different from the reality of my life. Sometimes it's a woman who has me bound and is punishing me. Sometimes there's a reason for the punishment, sometimes not. Sometimes I'm a willing accomplice, but often I've been forced into this slavery. Sometimes I'm still a Mistress, but my sub is a girl who likes to be tortured.
And then there are the apartment fantasies. This series of fantasies is intricate and doesn't hinge on whether or not I 'm dating someone. And it's pure fantasy; the road I can never seen myself on.
I'm a 24/7 slave to a harsh master/mistress. (The gender of my Dom tends to be fluid and sometimes a MtF pre-op trans.) We live in a really nice apartment that I keep clean. In fact, in this fantasy, I do all the domestic duties except shopping as I'm not allowed out of the apartment by myself. When I do try to venture out on my own, I discover that my Dom owns the building and everyone in it works for Her/Him and they have permission to punish me if I'm found wandering the halls or trying to leave.
Once, I made it as far as the lobby, but the doorman caught me. With the help of two burly bellboys, he ripped off my clothes, whipped me with riding crop he kept behind the desk and fucked me on the plush carpeting. When he was done, the bellboys had their way with me... both of them, with me sandwiched between them... one dick in my pussy and the other in my ass.
But most often, I'm at the apartment door, naked except for a collar, waiting for my master to come home. As soon as S/He walks through the door, I become the good servant and remove coat, hat and anything they might be holding. I take their clothes and dress them in a robe. I sit them in a chair and kneel to remove socks and shoes and massage their feet. As I finish, the back of my head is clasped (or, if I'm wearing pigtails, my hair is grabbed) and my mouth is guided to suck on a clit or an erect penis. After I bring my Dom to orgasm, S/He pulls me over their knees and spanks me until my ass is bright red. Then, grabbing me by the hair, S/He drags me through the apartment, showing me all the things I did wrong. The entire place has recording devices throughout so they knows what I've been doing all day. At one point, S/He informed me that I am on a website where there was a live stream of everything I do. There are often other punishments and eventually my Dom fucks me.
The main thing about this fantasy is that I have no control over my life... something I would not want in real life, but wow, does the idea of it ever get my juices flowing!
And now a question for you dear reader: What are some of your sexual fantasies?
After reading this article (linked above) a friend sent me, I had to post it. It got me thinking about my own fantasies… particularly when I’m masturbating. One weird trend I've noticed with myself is that when I'm in a relationship with someone who fulfills a particular kink, i.e. dating Crumpet who's exploring his submissive side, I tend to have two main types of fantasies.
The first type involve my current lover and, often, include some of our sexual escapades. These fantasies are grounded in reality. I'm reliving things we've done, sensations I've felt... the feel of his teeth on my nipples... my straddling him... binding him... clawing him... the feel of his hips against mine as he thrusts deeper and harder inside me...
The other fantasies tend to be of an unknown person (or persons) different from the reality of my life. Sometimes it's a woman who has me bound and is punishing me. Sometimes there's a reason for the punishment, sometimes not. Sometimes I'm a willing accomplice, but often I've been forced into this slavery. Sometimes I'm still a Mistress, but my sub is a girl who likes to be tortured.
And then there are the apartment fantasies. This series of fantasies is intricate and doesn't hinge on whether or not I 'm dating someone. And it's pure fantasy; the road I can never seen myself on.
I'm a 24/7 slave to a harsh master/mistress. (The gender of my Dom tends to be fluid and sometimes a MtF pre-op trans.) We live in a really nice apartment that I keep clean. In fact, in this fantasy, I do all the domestic duties except shopping as I'm not allowed out of the apartment by myself. When I do try to venture out on my own, I discover that my Dom owns the building and everyone in it works for Her/Him and they have permission to punish me if I'm found wandering the halls or trying to leave.
Once, I made it as far as the lobby, but the doorman caught me. With the help of two burly bellboys, he ripped off my clothes, whipped me with riding crop he kept behind the desk and fucked me on the plush carpeting. When he was done, the bellboys had their way with me... both of them, with me sandwiched between them... one dick in my pussy and the other in my ass.
But most often, I'm at the apartment door, naked except for a collar, waiting for my master to come home. As soon as S/He walks through the door, I become the good servant and remove coat, hat and anything they might be holding. I take their clothes and dress them in a robe. I sit them in a chair and kneel to remove socks and shoes and massage their feet. As I finish, the back of my head is clasped (or, if I'm wearing pigtails, my hair is grabbed) and my mouth is guided to suck on a clit or an erect penis. After I bring my Dom to orgasm, S/He pulls me over their knees and spanks me until my ass is bright red. Then, grabbing me by the hair, S/He drags me through the apartment, showing me all the things I did wrong. The entire place has recording devices throughout so they knows what I've been doing all day. At one point, S/He informed me that I am on a website where there was a live stream of everything I do. There are often other punishments and eventually my Dom fucks me.
The main thing about this fantasy is that I have no control over my life... something I would not want in real life, but wow, does the idea of it ever get my juices flowing!
And now a question for you dear reader: What are some of your sexual fantasies?
Friday, June 5, 2009
Writing on writing
Sometimes, no matter how much I write, it all sucks. But fret not, loyal readers, I'm working on a juicy tale called Threesome in the Woods, and will post... hopefully soon. In the meantime, this weekend is busy with work and a party at Crumpet's house where I'm going to get to meet some of his friends. (Woo-hoo!) Then on Monday & Tuesday I'll be out of town for work. (Yeah, my days off get eaten by work... boo.)
Come Wednesday, my goal is to set up a writing/posting schedule for my blog and a writing/sending-off-to-be-published schedule.
Come Wednesday, my goal is to set up a writing/posting schedule for my blog and a writing/sending-off-to-be-published schedule.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Hiatus - The Good, The Bad, The Writing
The Good:
The Artist & I are heading off to the woods for some good ole Pagan camping. Crumpet and his family are going too! This is just what I need right now. There are going to be a lot of friends I haven't seen in quite a while and a great deal of frolicking. I hope to come back with an erotic tale or two.
The Bad:
This means, I'll continue to neglect this blog until sometime next week when I'm back. I hadn't intended to go quite this long without posting, but life got a bit busy.
The Writing:
In fact, I have several drafts of posts that never quite made it. I may shuffle through them for ideas for future posts. I seem to do better when I give myself specific days to post so I'm going to figure out what days would be best with my schedule. I NEED to write more! I also NEED to send more of my writing to contests & publishers.... something I'll be working on as well.
The Artist & I are heading off to the woods for some good ole Pagan camping. Crumpet and his family are going too! This is just what I need right now. There are going to be a lot of friends I haven't seen in quite a while and a great deal of frolicking. I hope to come back with an erotic tale or two.
The Bad:
This means, I'll continue to neglect this blog until sometime next week when I'm back. I hadn't intended to go quite this long without posting, but life got a bit busy.
The Writing:
In fact, I have several drafts of posts that never quite made it. I may shuffle through them for ideas for future posts. I seem to do better when I give myself specific days to post so I'm going to figure out what days would be best with my schedule. I NEED to write more! I also NEED to send more of my writing to contests & publishers.... something I'll be working on as well.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Impolite Conversation
Saturday was exactly a month after our first date and I was late. I hate running late! Work was short staffed & I didn't get a lunch so I didn't even have a chance to text Crumpet. But he was very patient and gracious even though he had to wait almost half an hour for me to get home.
I needed to take a shower, so I invited him to join me. We quickly removed clothes and got in under the water. Crumpet was... well, aroused. I realized, in the middle of a very passionate kiss, that this was the first time we've been naked together... vertically. This made me giggle*.
"What's funny?" He asked.
I shrugged ad kissed him some more.
We washed each other... sort of. There was really a lot more kissing and groping than washing. His skin was slick against mine and felt really good. As our bodies pressed together, I discovered the advantage of having a lover not much taller than me. Standing on my tip-toes, I could straddle his cock. I squeezed him between my thighs. He gasped and dropped the washcloth. It landed on my chest then slid down over my nipples. Startled by the sensation, I stepped back and it landed... on his dick. We both started laughing. Surprisingly, it stayed there until I removed it.
We went to dinner at the same Thai place we'd gone to a month ago. Since it was a Saturday, the place was pretty hoppin'. It didn't take long to get a table. After our food arrived, he got Pad Thai & I got Pad Woonsen, we decided to have some impolite conversation**.
Crumpet: Maybe we can make a washcloth measurement. As unto, how many washcloths a
penis can hold.
Me: But wouldn't it work better with ribbons? Though I suppose that's been done.
Crumpet: Not how many in a row, but the weight of how many before they fall off.
Me: Oh. Oh! That could be fun. Really fun!
Crumpet: Of course, there'd have to be a wet test and a dry test.
Me: Of course. Hmmmm.... I'm going to have to start collecting washcloths.
Crumpet: Yes.
Afterwards, we went shopping. We'd been discussing getting him some lingerie and I decided it was time. While I've provided panties for a boy, had one wear some of mine and even had a sub go shopping for some, I'd never gone shopping with the person I was playing with. It was fun! We strolled through the "intimate apparel" and found some lovely lacy pieces. I would take each one off the rack and hold it up to him. He was almost as turned on as I was. And he was blushing... quite delicious. We finally came across a cute pair of sheer black panties with peach bows. Even though I was buying the panties for him, I made him carry them to the check out.
At home, he modeled them for me. I took pictures. When the Artist came home, I insisted he show her his present. He was hesitant, saying she wouldn't want to see. But she did, so the pants came off. He held up his shirt & spun slowly.
Artist: He barely fits in there, does he?
Me: Yeah, he's pokin' out!
He was blushing. It was very sexy.
It wasn't too much longer before I took him up to my bed.
I needed to take a shower, so I invited him to join me. We quickly removed clothes and got in under the water. Crumpet was... well, aroused. I realized, in the middle of a very passionate kiss, that this was the first time we've been naked together... vertically. This made me giggle*.
"What's funny?" He asked.
I shrugged ad kissed him some more.
We washed each other... sort of. There was really a lot more kissing and groping than washing. His skin was slick against mine and felt really good. As our bodies pressed together, I discovered the advantage of having a lover not much taller than me. Standing on my tip-toes, I could straddle his cock. I squeezed him between my thighs. He gasped and dropped the washcloth. It landed on my chest then slid down over my nipples. Startled by the sensation, I stepped back and it landed... on his dick. We both started laughing. Surprisingly, it stayed there until I removed it.
* I have a bad habit of inappropriate giggling.
I can't always explain why I'm giggling.
This makes some people nervous.
Especially lovers.
I can't always explain why I'm giggling.
This makes some people nervous.
Especially lovers.
We went to dinner at the same Thai place we'd gone to a month ago. Since it was a Saturday, the place was pretty hoppin'. It didn't take long to get a table. After our food arrived, he got Pad Thai & I got Pad Woonsen, we decided to have some impolite conversation**.
Crumpet: Maybe we can make a washcloth measurement. As unto, how many washcloths a
penis can hold.
Me: But wouldn't it work better with ribbons? Though I suppose that's been done.
Crumpet: Not how many in a row, but the weight of how many before they fall off.
Me: Oh. Oh! That could be fun. Really fun!
Crumpet: Of course, there'd have to be a wet test and a dry test.
Me: Of course. Hmmmm.... I'm going to have to start collecting washcloths.
Crumpet: Yes.
** The first time we went, we had polite conversation.
From that, we talked about what would qualify
as "impolite conversation".
From that, we talked about what would qualify
as "impolite conversation".
Afterwards, we went shopping. We'd been discussing getting him some lingerie and I decided it was time. While I've provided panties for a boy, had one wear some of mine and even had a sub go shopping for some, I'd never gone shopping with the person I was playing with. It was fun! We strolled through the "intimate apparel" and found some lovely lacy pieces. I would take each one off the rack and hold it up to him. He was almost as turned on as I was. And he was blushing... quite delicious. We finally came across a cute pair of sheer black panties with peach bows. Even though I was buying the panties for him, I made him carry them to the check out.
At home, he modeled them for me. I took pictures. When the Artist came home, I insisted he show her his present. He was hesitant, saying she wouldn't want to see. But she did, so the pants came off. He held up his shirt & spun slowly.
Artist: He barely fits in there, does he?
Me: Yeah, he's pokin' out!
He was blushing. It was very sexy.
It wasn't too much longer before I took him up to my bed.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Fun Poly Moment
As I doubt I'm going to get a full post in tonight, what with being distracted and all, I thought I'd get up before work and post a little something since I wanted to post every day this week. (Whoever decided that must be crazy!)
Last night I was separately chatting online with Crumpet & his wife. He was being cheeky and silly and while he told me that his ego has gotten pretty inflated, I was only seeing confidence rather than arrogance. But I was online with him and not in person. His wife informed me that the ego is "out of control". We discussed getting together and figuring out a punishment for him. But after a bit of discussion, we realized that we already know a weakness and punishment really won't be all that difficult.
So we decided that we should get together just to hang out... sans the man. We didn't pick a date or time, but have plans to make plans... which I always find amusing. She's a pretty awesome woman and I'm looking forward to getting to know her better.
Last night I was separately chatting online with Crumpet & his wife. He was being cheeky and silly and while he told me that his ego has gotten pretty inflated, I was only seeing confidence rather than arrogance. But I was online with him and not in person. His wife informed me that the ego is "out of control". We discussed getting together and figuring out a punishment for him. But after a bit of discussion, we realized that we already know a weakness and punishment really won't be all that difficult.
So we decided that we should get together just to hang out... sans the man. We didn't pick a date or time, but have plans to make plans... which I always find amusing. She's a pretty awesome woman and I'm looking forward to getting to know her better.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Should not post while tipsy....
So I started writing a serious (well, somewhat serious... as serious as I get in this blog) post. But then the Artist came home with Hard Cider to celebrate Beltane. Happy Beltane! Kinda lost my posting momentum. And tomorrow night I have a date with Crumpet. (Damn! I wasn't going to write about him.) ;)
Tomorrow will be a month since our first date and, to honor the occasion, he's taking me to the same Thai place we went to for our first date. I know it's corny, but it makes me squee with glee that Crumpet is just as ridiculously romantic.
Tomorrow will be a month since our first date and, to honor the occasion, he's taking me to the same Thai place we went to for our first date. I know it's corny, but it makes me squee with glee that Crumpet is just as ridiculously romantic.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Bondage for Beginners
The last time I was with someone who hadn't had much experience with bondage was when I was dating Toe. But the thing with Toe was everything was new to him. I was the one who deflowered the boy... but that's another post for another time.
With Crumpet, I have a man who is already an experienced and an amazing lover. And while he'll on occasion hint at sexual innocence, I don't quite buy it. He's too confident & secure in his sexual prowess. Plus, he's incredibly fun in bed! Now don't get me wrong, as I understand it, his uncertainty lies in that he's not had as many partners as I've had and his venture into the realm of kink has been limited... though there are some things he's told me about that he didn't necessarily consider kink but I would. Semantics.
He told me, he was interested in being tied up. He told me, the idea of bondage excited him. He told me, he trusted me.
I happen to have a wonderful product called Bondage Tape. It looks and feels a bit electrical tape but it's not sticky and it clings to itself. It doesn't pull out hair. It's similar to saran wrap that way.
He was lying on his back, naked in my bed. I bound his wrists above his head.
"Can you break it?" I whispered in his ear. He moved his hands, trying to get free. After a few seconds of struggling, he shook his head. I kissed his mouth. "Good." I kissed, nibbled and scratched my way down his body. Then I wrapped his ankles as well. Once he was secured, I tickled him. Crumpet is a deliciously ticklish man. Sharp nailed scratches made him writhe between crunched up giggling.
"Roll over," I breathed. He did so. I'd decided to give him a massage. Reaching under my bed, I grabbed my goody basket. But I couldn't find the massage oil. I did find some lube and I thought, it's wet and it's cool.... So I used it. The problem being, lube gets kinda sticky. Not the affect I was going for.
"I'll be right back," I said, scurrying off to the bathroom. I quickly grabbed a towel, got it damp and hurried back. The towel was a bit cold, so his gasps from that as I cleaned the lube off his back were quite lovely. But I still felt kinda foolish even though he had no idea about my error.
After drying his back, I proceeded to scratch him up nicely. I thought about spanking and/or whipping him, but decided that since those sensations would also be new to him, I would save them for another time.
With Crumpet, I have a man who is already an experienced and an amazing lover. And while he'll on occasion hint at sexual innocence, I don't quite buy it. He's too confident & secure in his sexual prowess. Plus, he's incredibly fun in bed! Now don't get me wrong, as I understand it, his uncertainty lies in that he's not had as many partners as I've had and his venture into the realm of kink has been limited... though there are some things he's told me about that he didn't necessarily consider kink but I would. Semantics.
He told me, he was interested in being tied up. He told me, the idea of bondage excited him. He told me, he trusted me.
I happen to have a wonderful product called Bondage Tape. It looks and feels a bit electrical tape but it's not sticky and it clings to itself. It doesn't pull out hair. It's similar to saran wrap that way.
He was lying on his back, naked in my bed. I bound his wrists above his head.
"Can you break it?" I whispered in his ear. He moved his hands, trying to get free. After a few seconds of struggling, he shook his head. I kissed his mouth. "Good." I kissed, nibbled and scratched my way down his body. Then I wrapped his ankles as well. Once he was secured, I tickled him. Crumpet is a deliciously ticklish man. Sharp nailed scratches made him writhe between crunched up giggling.
"Roll over," I breathed. He did so. I'd decided to give him a massage. Reaching under my bed, I grabbed my goody basket. But I couldn't find the massage oil. I did find some lube and I thought, it's wet and it's cool.... So I used it. The problem being, lube gets kinda sticky. Not the affect I was going for.
"I'll be right back," I said, scurrying off to the bathroom. I quickly grabbed a towel, got it damp and hurried back. The towel was a bit cold, so his gasps from that as I cleaned the lube off his back were quite lovely. But I still felt kinda foolish even though he had no idea about my error.
After drying his back, I proceeded to scratch him up nicely. I thought about spanking and/or whipping him, but decided that since those sensations would also be new to him, I would save them for another time.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
His House
For our third date, I went to Crumpet's house. He was watching his daughters since their mother had her own date in the city. Now I must confess, the prospect of meeting the kids is a bit intimidating. I mean, after all, I’ve turned folks down because they have children and here I was about to spend an evening with the kids of a guy I’d only had two dates with.
So I took a page from the Firebird’s book (she’ll often bring feathers and ribbons and shiny things for children) and, because I collect hats, brought a few hats for the girls to play with. There was also a ribbon, a lighted necklace and a bracelet too tiny for me. I needn’t have worried, the girls and I got along really well.
After the girls’ bedtime, Crumpet and I hung out on the couch just talking and kissing. Then we headed into the bedroom. The room was gorgeous! Crumpet’s wife had done it up in a Moroccan motif. But I felt a little weird crawling in their bed. After all, when I dated Puck, he and his wife had a rule against either of them having sex in their bed without the other spouse being involved. Also, the Artist’s boyfriend, Plus, & his wife reserve their bed for them alone.
But that’s not the arrangement Crumpet & his wife have. They share their bed. I probably would have stayed out in the living room but for two reasons: (a) I had to work early the next morning and I don't sleep so well in foreign places especially if there's not a bed. & (b) the boy makes me horny. (I'll admit it... just being around him gets my panties moist.)
We took our time that night and slowly explored each others bodies with hands and mouths and eyes. Everything was slow and sensual and extremely sexy. We talked and cuddled and had some mind-blowing amazing sex. I was concerned about the puddle I made on their bed, but he assured me he'd take care of it. I'm not quite sure what it is about his technique that does it, but just having somewhat vanilla sex with this man has me writhing and orgasming over and over again until I cascade like a fountain.
And all this without any kink thrown in... yet.
So I took a page from the Firebird’s book (she’ll often bring feathers and ribbons and shiny things for children) and, because I collect hats, brought a few hats for the girls to play with. There was also a ribbon, a lighted necklace and a bracelet too tiny for me. I needn’t have worried, the girls and I got along really well.
After the girls’ bedtime, Crumpet and I hung out on the couch just talking and kissing. Then we headed into the bedroom. The room was gorgeous! Crumpet’s wife had done it up in a Moroccan motif. But I felt a little weird crawling in their bed. After all, when I dated Puck, he and his wife had a rule against either of them having sex in their bed without the other spouse being involved. Also, the Artist’s boyfriend, Plus, & his wife reserve their bed for them alone.
But that’s not the arrangement Crumpet & his wife have. They share their bed. I probably would have stayed out in the living room but for two reasons: (a) I had to work early the next morning and I don't sleep so well in foreign places especially if there's not a bed. & (b) the boy makes me horny. (I'll admit it... just being around him gets my panties moist.)
We took our time that night and slowly explored each others bodies with hands and mouths and eyes. Everything was slow and sensual and extremely sexy. We talked and cuddled and had some mind-blowing amazing sex. I was concerned about the puddle I made on their bed, but he assured me he'd take care of it. I'm not quite sure what it is about his technique that does it, but just having somewhat vanilla sex with this man has me writhing and orgasming over and over again until I cascade like a fountain.
And all this without any kink thrown in... yet.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Reflections on Crumpet
Crumpet and I started e-mailing back in December. He recognized the picture I had as the same one I’d posted for the Poly meetup group we both belonged to. After the initial e-mail exchange, we actually met in person at the January Poly Pot Luck. He was there with his wife and daughters and I was there with the Artisit.
The first thing I noticed was that he wasn’t just cute like I thought he was in his pictures; he was deliriously adorable. Yet he was shy and quiet, so I didn’t really get to know him. To be fair, I wasn’t talking much either. I tend not to be too chatty in larger groups. Besides, the Artist was there and she is a fantastic conversationalist. Crumpet’s wife is also exceedingly fascinating. Their girls were amazingly well behaved. It was lovely to watch parents who deal with their kids so well.
Even though I wasn’t dating, I was intrigued. We exchanged a few more e-mails in January and chatted a bit, but then communication dropped off in February. I knew he’d started dating someone else and, while I was enjoying our fun exchanges, I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. I figured, if we do become friends, it would be a slow process. There were a few other gatherings I could have gone to and possibly seen him (including one at his place), but with my new work schedule & my desire to hibernate during the winter, I just wasn't up for it.
Then, towards the end of March, he sent me an e-mail and the conversation began again. He gives good e-mail. He later told me that he kinda-maybe-sorta remembered that I was planning to date in the Spring. He’d also read my Musings on being Child Free post which I’d kinda-maybe-sorta posted with him in mind… which he commented on. After a few exchanges and getting back to chatting online, we were in deep flirt. There was obviously an attraction. I thought about being patient & wait to see how long it took him to ask me out. After all, he wasn't the only guy I was flirting with. But I realized that I didn't want to wait. Patience be damned! I asked him out.
The first thing I noticed was that he wasn’t just cute like I thought he was in his pictures; he was deliriously adorable. Yet he was shy and quiet, so I didn’t really get to know him. To be fair, I wasn’t talking much either. I tend not to be too chatty in larger groups. Besides, the Artist was there and she is a fantastic conversationalist. Crumpet’s wife is also exceedingly fascinating. Their girls were amazingly well behaved. It was lovely to watch parents who deal with their kids so well.
Even though I wasn’t dating, I was intrigued. We exchanged a few more e-mails in January and chatted a bit, but then communication dropped off in February. I knew he’d started dating someone else and, while I was enjoying our fun exchanges, I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. I figured, if we do become friends, it would be a slow process. There were a few other gatherings I could have gone to and possibly seen him (including one at his place), but with my new work schedule & my desire to hibernate during the winter, I just wasn't up for it.
Then, towards the end of March, he sent me an e-mail and the conversation began again. He gives good e-mail. He later told me that he kinda-maybe-sorta remembered that I was planning to date in the Spring. He’d also read my Musings on being Child Free post which I’d kinda-maybe-sorta posted with him in mind… which he commented on. After a few exchanges and getting back to chatting online, we were in deep flirt. There was obviously an attraction. I thought about being patient & wait to see how long it took him to ask me out. After all, he wasn't the only guy I was flirting with. But I realized that I didn't want to wait. Patience be damned! I asked him out.
Audacious
Monday evening I wrote this:
I am sitting in the Firebird’s Aerie, writing along side her as she writes.
We do this.
The Firebird is currently on her own path of passion. She is experimenting… playing a May game in which she has four different dates with four different men all in the same month. Thus far, there are three. The first is the man she has known and been friends with. She asked him out. Then the man she met briefly who went out of his way to find her again. The third is a friend of a friend. The Firebird’s friend wanted them to meet in only a sideways attempt at playing matchmaker. And there will be a fourth.
I admire the Firebird. She sets a challenge for herself and accepts her own challenge. I know she will succeed in this endeavor because she is The Firebird. I aspire to be as audacious as she.
And speaking of audacity, dear readers, I should bring you up to date on the happenings with my delectable (de-LICK-able) Crumpet. And yes, I do call him mine. It’s a funny thing with Polyamory… A person can belong to you in the sense of “being apart of your life” and still belong to another. It’s beyond sharing… something I haven’t yet the vocabulary for, but it’s beautiful, whatever it’s called. Compersion comes close. But it’s more than the feeling of glee when your lover is with another lover… in fact, it’s more than emotion. It’s an honor and a privilege… And now I’m rambling…
I had initially intended to write about every single date. A kind of experiment of my own to see if I could do it. I got as far as the second date & got, shall we say, distracted. Well, that and I got busy. Life, you know? Though I wonder if that’s all entirely true. There is a part of me that just wanted to be selfish and keep him all to myself… at least for a while. Though I knew it wouldn’t last forever. For even though I am not an exhibitionist in person, I am one in words. I adore displaying my amorous escapades for the world to read. I want everyone to celebrate and luxuriate in the things I do to, with and for my lovers.
This week, I will write... every day.
I am sitting in the Firebird’s Aerie, writing along side her as she writes.
We do this.
The Firebird is currently on her own path of passion. She is experimenting… playing a May game in which she has four different dates with four different men all in the same month. Thus far, there are three. The first is the man she has known and been friends with. She asked him out. Then the man she met briefly who went out of his way to find her again. The third is a friend of a friend. The Firebird’s friend wanted them to meet in only a sideways attempt at playing matchmaker. And there will be a fourth.
I admire the Firebird. She sets a challenge for herself and accepts her own challenge. I know she will succeed in this endeavor because she is The Firebird. I aspire to be as audacious as she.
And speaking of audacity, dear readers, I should bring you up to date on the happenings with my delectable (de-LICK-able) Crumpet. And yes, I do call him mine. It’s a funny thing with Polyamory… A person can belong to you in the sense of “being apart of your life” and still belong to another. It’s beyond sharing… something I haven’t yet the vocabulary for, but it’s beautiful, whatever it’s called. Compersion comes close. But it’s more than the feeling of glee when your lover is with another lover… in fact, it’s more than emotion. It’s an honor and a privilege… And now I’m rambling…
I had initially intended to write about every single date. A kind of experiment of my own to see if I could do it. I got as far as the second date & got, shall we say, distracted. Well, that and I got busy. Life, you know? Though I wonder if that’s all entirely true. There is a part of me that just wanted to be selfish and keep him all to myself… at least for a while. Though I knew it wouldn’t last forever. For even though I am not an exhibitionist in person, I am one in words. I adore displaying my amorous escapades for the world to read. I want everyone to celebrate and luxuriate in the things I do to, with and for my lovers.
This week, I will write... every day.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Second Date, Double Date
"Most guys bring flowers, I bring crumpets." Crumpet smirked as he handed me a package. There was a mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes. We hugged and came further into the house.
Honestly, I'm not one for flowers. They die. But something yummy to eat? Cleaver. It made me smile. (Later, when I had a chance to eat a crumpet, I found that they’re quite delicious, just like Crumpet. Mmmmmm, I'd like to butter him...)
I had rushed home to take a shower and get dressed before Crumpet arrived. I succeeded... mostly. I was still sans socks and my hair was wet and unbrushed. We sat on the couch and talked, actually talked. To have a conversation about nothing in particular was delightful. There was a bit of tender touching, but not much beyond that since we were waiting for the Artist to get off work so we could get some dinner with her and her beau, Plus. We talked about Eddie Izzard and the English need to cue and Bill Bryson’s take on the British and Crumpet said he would loan me “Mother Tongue”. It’s only the second date and he’s already talking about sharing his books with me. *swoon* I love books!
He joked that we should once again be making out in the same position the Artist saw him last. I thought it was funny, but the conversation was too interesting to stop… even for something I was yearning to do.
The Artist arrived, looking lovely as usual. Since Crumpet was in a loaner car, we took the Beetle and he sat in back. The Artist offered to let us sit together in the back, but I have a quirk about being chauffered around. It would have been nice to cuddle in the back, but it’s just not my style.
We met Plus at the Olive Garden. The dinner was lovely. Plus shared amusing anecdotes about his coworkers and there was a familiar banter to our conversation. Crumpet even easily joined it. This thrilled me. It’s important to me that the person I’m dating gets along with my friends.
Afterwards, we went back to my place. We’d already decided that he was spending the night. It just made sense. He had to work at 7 am and he didn’t want to wake the family coming in late. I figured, it being only the second date & all, if I didn’t want him in my bed, I could find some spot in the living room for him to sleep. Of course, if things swung to the complete opposite end of the spectrum, there’s always a bed down in the dungeon.
But I did want him in my bed.
I turned off the light, not because I didn’t want to see him or for any feigned modesty on my part, but because the lights in my room glare and I wanted no distraction. We stayed clothed, our tongues exploring each other’s mouths, with teasing flicks over lips. As I bit his lower lip, a sigh escaped him. Sucking his tongue, his body trembled. Our hands roamed over clothes until either his fingers or mine, I can’t say who went first, slipped beneath the other’s shirt, exploring skin.
At some point, our shirts and my bra came off. Hands were replaced with lips and tongues and a bit of teeth. I wanted to bite him, really bite him, to bruise him, and him me, but we hadn’t discussed markings so I was respectful… despite my desires.
I was straddling him when I made up my mind.
“We both have way too many clothes on,” I whispered.
“Do we now?” I could feel his grin.
I nodded knowing he couldn’t see me, dismounted to remove my skirt and panties. “You have a condom?”
He paused in removing his pants and I heard that distinct crinkle as he removed it before whipping off his pants. The rip and tear of the wrapper grew as I kissed him and he slid the condom on.
Straddling him again, he eased up inside me, filling me. I was already quite moist from the intense foreplay, so it didn’t take long until I was thoroughly wet.
“Your bed squeaks.” It was a statement, not a question or a concern that the Artist and Plus would hear.
I opened my mouth the say, “I should oil the hinges,” but he hit my sweet spot as I only got half the question out and the rest turned into gasps. I rode him, licking, biting, scratching… through three orgasms. We were slick with sweat.
Just as I was about to suggest that we switch positions, he said it. I rolled off him snickering.
“What?”
“I just…” I couldn’t form the words. My brain was mush. “timing, ya know?”
He slid between my legs, kissing his way up my body. I guided his long hard cock inside of me, wrapping my legs around him. He pushed deeper into me as I came over and over again, my water flowing.
And he kept going… Crumpet has quite the stamina! Whenever I felt he was about to cum, he switched up the rhythm. When he finally came, I exploded one last time. He left me panting to go clean up in the bathroom. I knew I should too, but my legs were wobbly…. I wasn’t going anywhere.
He crawled back into bed and we cuddled, twisting my body away from the puddle I’d left. As I drifted to an amazingly comfortable sleep, I sighed. What a way to get back to sex!
Honestly, I'm not one for flowers. They die. But something yummy to eat? Cleaver. It made me smile. (Later, when I had a chance to eat a crumpet, I found that they’re quite delicious, just like Crumpet. Mmmmmm, I'd like to butter him...)
I had rushed home to take a shower and get dressed before Crumpet arrived. I succeeded... mostly. I was still sans socks and my hair was wet and unbrushed. We sat on the couch and talked, actually talked. To have a conversation about nothing in particular was delightful. There was a bit of tender touching, but not much beyond that since we were waiting for the Artist to get off work so we could get some dinner with her and her beau, Plus. We talked about Eddie Izzard and the English need to cue and Bill Bryson’s take on the British and Crumpet said he would loan me “Mother Tongue”. It’s only the second date and he’s already talking about sharing his books with me. *swoon* I love books!
He joked that we should once again be making out in the same position the Artist saw him last. I thought it was funny, but the conversation was too interesting to stop… even for something I was yearning to do.
The Artist arrived, looking lovely as usual. Since Crumpet was in a loaner car, we took the Beetle and he sat in back. The Artist offered to let us sit together in the back, but I have a quirk about being chauffered around. It would have been nice to cuddle in the back, but it’s just not my style.
We met Plus at the Olive Garden. The dinner was lovely. Plus shared amusing anecdotes about his coworkers and there was a familiar banter to our conversation. Crumpet even easily joined it. This thrilled me. It’s important to me that the person I’m dating gets along with my friends.
Afterwards, we went back to my place. We’d already decided that he was spending the night. It just made sense. He had to work at 7 am and he didn’t want to wake the family coming in late. I figured, it being only the second date & all, if I didn’t want him in my bed, I could find some spot in the living room for him to sleep. Of course, if things swung to the complete opposite end of the spectrum, there’s always a bed down in the dungeon.
But I did want him in my bed.
I turned off the light, not because I didn’t want to see him or for any feigned modesty on my part, but because the lights in my room glare and I wanted no distraction. We stayed clothed, our tongues exploring each other’s mouths, with teasing flicks over lips. As I bit his lower lip, a sigh escaped him. Sucking his tongue, his body trembled. Our hands roamed over clothes until either his fingers or mine, I can’t say who went first, slipped beneath the other’s shirt, exploring skin.
At some point, our shirts and my bra came off. Hands were replaced with lips and tongues and a bit of teeth. I wanted to bite him, really bite him, to bruise him, and him me, but we hadn’t discussed markings so I was respectful… despite my desires.
I was straddling him when I made up my mind.
“We both have way too many clothes on,” I whispered.
“Do we now?” I could feel his grin.
I nodded knowing he couldn’t see me, dismounted to remove my skirt and panties. “You have a condom?”
He paused in removing his pants and I heard that distinct crinkle as he removed it before whipping off his pants. The rip and tear of the wrapper grew as I kissed him and he slid the condom on.
Straddling him again, he eased up inside me, filling me. I was already quite moist from the intense foreplay, so it didn’t take long until I was thoroughly wet.
“Your bed squeaks.” It was a statement, not a question or a concern that the Artist and Plus would hear.
I opened my mouth the say, “I should oil the hinges,” but he hit my sweet spot as I only got half the question out and the rest turned into gasps. I rode him, licking, biting, scratching… through three orgasms. We were slick with sweat.
Just as I was about to suggest that we switch positions, he said it. I rolled off him snickering.
“What?”
“I just…” I couldn’t form the words. My brain was mush. “timing, ya know?”
He slid between my legs, kissing his way up my body. I guided his long hard cock inside of me, wrapping my legs around him. He pushed deeper into me as I came over and over again, my water flowing.
And he kept going… Crumpet has quite the stamina! Whenever I felt he was about to cum, he switched up the rhythm. When he finally came, I exploded one last time. He left me panting to go clean up in the bathroom. I knew I should too, but my legs were wobbly…. I wasn’t going anywhere.
He crawled back into bed and we cuddled, twisting my body away from the puddle I’d left. As I drifted to an amazingly comfortable sleep, I sighed. What a way to get back to sex!
Monday, April 6, 2009
First Date with Crumpet
A Crumpet: a savoury/sweet bread snack
A piece of crumpet: British slang A sexually desirable woman (or, in this case, man)
"yup only in england will you find that bread product = sex" ~ Crumpet
“A tasty treat with the word ‘pet’ in it? Delicious.” ~ Ninian ;)
Thursday night I had my first date with Crumpet. It was delightful!
He remembered that I liked thai food and thoughtfully suggested we get some. The food was great and the company was lovely. The one hiccup was that conversation was sparse. While we’ve chatted up a storm online and have had some fantastic email volleys, in person, he's shy and I have a tendency to sit back and observe when I'm first getting to know someone. But it was comfortable beyond my, "oh shit, I should say something. What should I talk about?" thoughts.
Afterwards, we went back to my place. The Artist was there and watched the movie Snatch with us. After the movie, we all talked for a bit. Well, actually, he and I quietly sat close as fingers and fingernails roamed over arms and hands while we listened and responded to the Artist. At one point, I ask Crumpet if I could stroke his head. He raised an eyebrow but said, “sure.” He’s mostly bald with downy hair where he’s not. His scalp is very pleasant to rub. But it felt kind of awkward, so I didn’t do it for too long. After a bit of her talking and us not so much, the Artist decided to read up in her room.
I wouldn't say we attacked each other.... but the leaning and the touching escalated until we were kissing. He’s a lovely kisser. Gentle but firm and tantalizing. We were cuddling on the couch; he’s very cuddly and the dog was getting a wee bit jealous. As I was running my nails lightly over his skin, I discovered he was ticklish. Foolishly, he revealed that he’s deathly ticklish. (Poor boy, I do like the idea of making a potential paramour squirm.)
At some point, the Artist came downstairs to get something from the kitchen. We didn’t even pause. I could tell he enjoyed her wandering through. He’s a bit of an exhibitionist & later told me that I bring it out in him. Plus, he liked the idea of possibly embarrassing her. Cheeky Crumpet!
Before the date, I decided that we weren’t going to have sex. I hadn’t decided whether or not I was going to take him up to my room. But as much as I was enjoying groping like teenagers in heat, the sofa was becoming less and less comfortable.
I made up my mind and asked him, “would you like to come up to my room,” I put my finger to his lips, “with the caveat of no sex?” He nodded enthusiastically.
I set my alarm since he had to be at work hours before I did. Laying in my bed, we continued rubbing and touching and exploring each other. I rolled him onto his back and held him down, kissing and teasing him. It delighted me how much he liked that.
At some point, he asked if it would be okay if he removed his shirt. To which I responded, “If you remove your shirt, I’m just gonna have to remove mine.” He was okay with that. Next, his belt came off. A belt is like a bra – the belt holds up his pants, the bra holds up my boobs – so off came my bra.
He’s a nipple nibbler. Which is good, cause I like that. Two day later, my tender breasts would make me grin and flush, thinking of him. Speaking of flushing… did I mention he blushes beautifully? Yeah, I like that.
At some point, we snuggled alongside each other and fell asleep. I actually slept. And not only that, but I slept well and deep. When my alarm went off, the cuddling and kissing began all over again. I didn’t want him to leave, he didn’t want to leave… it was a very good first date.
A piece of crumpet: British slang A sexually desirable woman (or, in this case, man)
"yup only in england will you find that bread product = sex" ~ Crumpet
“A tasty treat with the word ‘pet’ in it? Delicious.” ~ Ninian ;)
Thursday night I had my first date with Crumpet. It was delightful!
He remembered that I liked thai food and thoughtfully suggested we get some. The food was great and the company was lovely. The one hiccup was that conversation was sparse. While we’ve chatted up a storm online and have had some fantastic email volleys, in person, he's shy and I have a tendency to sit back and observe when I'm first getting to know someone. But it was comfortable beyond my, "oh shit, I should say something. What should I talk about?" thoughts.
Afterwards, we went back to my place. The Artist was there and watched the movie Snatch with us. After the movie, we all talked for a bit. Well, actually, he and I quietly sat close as fingers and fingernails roamed over arms and hands while we listened and responded to the Artist. At one point, I ask Crumpet if I could stroke his head. He raised an eyebrow but said, “sure.” He’s mostly bald with downy hair where he’s not. His scalp is very pleasant to rub. But it felt kind of awkward, so I didn’t do it for too long. After a bit of her talking and us not so much, the Artist decided to read up in her room.
I wouldn't say we attacked each other.... but the leaning and the touching escalated until we were kissing. He’s a lovely kisser. Gentle but firm and tantalizing. We were cuddling on the couch; he’s very cuddly and the dog was getting a wee bit jealous. As I was running my nails lightly over his skin, I discovered he was ticklish. Foolishly, he revealed that he’s deathly ticklish. (Poor boy, I do like the idea of making a potential paramour squirm.)
At some point, the Artist came downstairs to get something from the kitchen. We didn’t even pause. I could tell he enjoyed her wandering through. He’s a bit of an exhibitionist & later told me that I bring it out in him. Plus, he liked the idea of possibly embarrassing her. Cheeky Crumpet!
Before the date, I decided that we weren’t going to have sex. I hadn’t decided whether or not I was going to take him up to my room. But as much as I was enjoying groping like teenagers in heat, the sofa was becoming less and less comfortable.
I made up my mind and asked him, “would you like to come up to my room,” I put my finger to his lips, “with the caveat of no sex?” He nodded enthusiastically.
I set my alarm since he had to be at work hours before I did. Laying in my bed, we continued rubbing and touching and exploring each other. I rolled him onto his back and held him down, kissing and teasing him. It delighted me how much he liked that.
At some point, he asked if it would be okay if he removed his shirt. To which I responded, “If you remove your shirt, I’m just gonna have to remove mine.” He was okay with that. Next, his belt came off. A belt is like a bra – the belt holds up his pants, the bra holds up my boobs – so off came my bra.
He’s a nipple nibbler. Which is good, cause I like that. Two day later, my tender breasts would make me grin and flush, thinking of him. Speaking of flushing… did I mention he blushes beautifully? Yeah, I like that.
At some point, we snuggled alongside each other and fell asleep. I actually slept. And not only that, but I slept well and deep. When my alarm went off, the cuddling and kissing began all over again. I didn’t want him to leave, he didn’t want to leave… it was a very good first date.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
The Snow Has Melted
Spring is here and I'm dating again. I have my first date on Thursday. It's with a guy I've been chatting up for a while. I met him and his lovely wife and his kids at a poly meetup group. Yep, you read that right.... I'm going on a date with a guy who has kids. His wife's pretty damn awesome & the daughters I only met briefly, they were really sweet. He's smart, sweet, awfully cute and incredibly interesting. We'll see how things go!
Friday, March 27, 2009
Closets - a bit of a rant
I'm not a fan of closets. And no, not those little rooms where garments and other random items get stored. Though, oddly enough, the one in my bedroom is broken & not used as much of a closet.
I'm referring to the closets people put themselves in. It's not that I run about waving the freak flag (despite my tattoos often being on display) or feel that it's necessary for everyone to know all the details of my personal life, but if the subject comes up or I'm asked, I don't hide who I am. I know that not everyone is so fortunate as I am to have a job where no one's going to care that I'm a bi-poly-pagan-kinkster. Not that I go into any of that with the clientele and definitely didn't discuss it with my students when I was teaching. So, in that way, my professional life is separate from my personal life. Though I have had someone ask me about my pentagram & I explained it in very general terms. I also had a discussion about homosexuality with some students who were tossing around the word 'gay' as if it were an insult. So aspects of my personal life do come up.
While I'm open to my family, my parents (southern baptist / born again christians) have a way of not really acknowledging the things about my life they don't approve of and I'm not one to shove these things down anyone's throat. The last time I visited, my dad & I actually had a decent conversation about my Paganism. It ended with him saying he fears I'm going to hell. His intentions were well meaning. But I would hate to be in a closet concerning my personal life with anyone I live with... again.
I began my kinky exploration while living with my parents & they never knew. Much to their dismay, they found out about my sexual promiscuity since I was spending the night over at a boyfriend's house that just so happened to be two doors down from one of their fellow church goers. She felt it was her christian duty to tell my parents, even though I was an adult at the time, that she had seen my car overnight at his house. My dad lectured me on how it 'looked'. I think he was most upset because it made him look bad.
Me: How does it look?
Dad: Like you're having sex.
Me: I don't care if it looks that way.
Dad: Is that because you're having sex?
Me: Yes.
HUGE can of worms... threats of kicking me out of the house.... a 2 hour preaching at about how I'm ruining my life. Fun, fun, fun!
I was much more open about my spiritual exploration... not that my folks wanted to hear it. Throughout high school, I tried to explain my dissatisfaction with their religion & how none of my questions where being answered so I was researching many different paths of spirituality. But they just kept going back to "there is only one true way" & "you just have to have faith" mantras.
I suppose I can appreciate a well built solid closet. I just don't want to live in one or even spend a lot of time visiting one.
I'm referring to the closets people put themselves in. It's not that I run about waving the freak flag (despite my tattoos often being on display) or feel that it's necessary for everyone to know all the details of my personal life, but if the subject comes up or I'm asked, I don't hide who I am. I know that not everyone is so fortunate as I am to have a job where no one's going to care that I'm a bi-poly-pagan-kinkster. Not that I go into any of that with the clientele and definitely didn't discuss it with my students when I was teaching. So, in that way, my professional life is separate from my personal life. Though I have had someone ask me about my pentagram & I explained it in very general terms. I also had a discussion about homosexuality with some students who were tossing around the word 'gay' as if it were an insult. So aspects of my personal life do come up.
While I'm open to my family, my parents (southern baptist / born again christians) have a way of not really acknowledging the things about my life they don't approve of and I'm not one to shove these things down anyone's throat. The last time I visited, my dad & I actually had a decent conversation about my Paganism. It ended with him saying he fears I'm going to hell. His intentions were well meaning. But I would hate to be in a closet concerning my personal life with anyone I live with... again.
I began my kinky exploration while living with my parents & they never knew. Much to their dismay, they found out about my sexual promiscuity since I was spending the night over at a boyfriend's house that just so happened to be two doors down from one of their fellow church goers. She felt it was her christian duty to tell my parents, even though I was an adult at the time, that she had seen my car overnight at his house. My dad lectured me on how it 'looked'. I think he was most upset because it made him look bad.
Me: How does it look?
Dad: Like you're having sex.
Me: I don't care if it looks that way.
Dad: Is that because you're having sex?
Me: Yes.
HUGE can of worms... threats of kicking me out of the house.... a 2 hour preaching at about how I'm ruining my life. Fun, fun, fun!
I was much more open about my spiritual exploration... not that my folks wanted to hear it. Throughout high school, I tried to explain my dissatisfaction with their religion & how none of my questions where being answered so I was researching many different paths of spirituality. But they just kept going back to "there is only one true way" & "you just have to have faith" mantras.
I suppose I can appreciate a well built solid closet. I just don't want to live in one or even spend a lot of time visiting one.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Musing on being Child-Free
I've been thinking a lot about my Child-Free stance in relation to dating. As I am Child-Free, is this something I should require of those I date? Or should I merely have a "no involvement with the kids" policy? As in, if someone I'm dating has kids, I make it very clear from the get-go that I will not be getting involved with the kids. I am not going to be a babysitter or 2nd mom to your kids. But I know that with most folks who live with and care for their kids that means our relationship will only be able to go so deep. The Artist argues that since one cannot control how one feels, this will most likely be a set-up for failure. But I argue that it might not matter. After all, I've not had a romantic/sexual relationship last longer than 2 years. Perhaps setting boundaries on my emotions will be a good thing.
But I know me... I like kids, we get along. There's a chance that if I hang out with the kids I will, without wanting to, become emotionally invested. So maybe, the policy should be, "no getting involved with breeders" since it's the over-population/uncontrolled breeding factor that I am philosophically against.
I was chatting/flirting with the Librarian about being child-free. The thing is, the Librarian is married with kids. The kids he acquired with the marriage. He is not a breeder. He is philosophically Child-Free and yet has kids. And not just "has kids" as unto, they exist but he's not all that involved in their lives. No. He, in fact, is a big part of their lives. He is deeply involved in raising & educating them. He's a really awesome guy & we have a lot in common, but that one thing... Maybe I should just see what happens.
But I know me... I like kids, we get along. There's a chance that if I hang out with the kids I will, without wanting to, become emotionally invested. So maybe, the policy should be, "no getting involved with breeders" since it's the over-population/uncontrolled breeding factor that I am philosophically against.
I was chatting/flirting with the Librarian about being child-free. The thing is, the Librarian is married with kids. The kids he acquired with the marriage. He is not a breeder. He is philosophically Child-Free and yet has kids. And not just "has kids" as unto, they exist but he's not all that involved in their lives. No. He, in fact, is a big part of their lives. He is deeply involved in raising & educating them. He's a really awesome guy & we have a lot in common, but that one thing... Maybe I should just see what happens.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Heathen Ink is having a GRAND OPENING Parrrrrrrr-Tay!!!!
Bring In Spring With A Grand Opening!
Where: HeatheN Ink
5535 S. Archer Ave.
Summit, IL 60501
When: Saturday, March 21, 6:30PM
Come one, come all to:
Where: HeatheN Ink5535 S. Archer Ave.
Summit, IL 60501
When: Saturday, March 21, 6:30PM
Come one, come all to:
HeatheN Ink
Check out the new digs, peruse the inventory, enjoy tasty treats & be entertained!
I'm ever so pleased to announce that Christina King, one of Chicago's premiere belly dancers, will be performing for us!
We'll be having Tattoo Stories from
the Chicago Writers' Coven featuring:
CSE Cooney
Shomari Black
Allison Lake
Jeanine Marie Vaughn
Enter our $1 Raffle for a variety of prizes including a $40 gift certificate for tattoos/piercings at HeatheN Ink!
Later in the evening, we have our very own rattle-the-roof, knock-your-socks-off band!
Saint Aviator featuring Meg Karma
Feel free to invite your friends, family, neighbors, coworkers... just anyone who needs some
HeatheN Ink!
If you have Tattoo or Piercing Queries, e-mail Bek:
gruecrow@yahoo.com
If you have any Event Questions, e-mail Jeanine:
talesoftaboo@gmail.com
Check out the new digs, peruse the inventory, enjoy tasty treats & be entertained!
I'm ever so pleased to announce that Christina King, one of Chicago's premiere belly dancers, will be performing for us!
We'll be having Tattoo Stories from
the Chicago Writers' Coven featuring:
CSE Cooney
Shomari Black
Allison Lake
Jeanine Marie Vaughn
Enter our $1 Raffle for a variety of prizes including a $40 gift certificate for tattoos/piercings at HeatheN Ink!
Later in the evening, we have our very own rattle-the-roof, knock-your-socks-off band!
Saint Aviator featuring Meg Karma
Feel free to invite your friends, family, neighbors, coworkers... just anyone who needs some
HeatheN Ink!
If you have Tattoo or Piercing Queries, e-mail Bek:
gruecrow@yahoo.com
If you have any Event Questions, e-mail Jeanine:
talesoftaboo@gmail.com
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Interesting Horoscope...
"SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The world is once again falling deeply in love with you. Let's hope that on this occasion (unlike what happened the last two times) you will accept its adoration in the spirit in which it's given. Let's hope that if the world offers you the moon, the dawn, and the breeze, you won't reject these gifts and say that what you really wanted was a comet, the sunset, and a pie in the sky. There would be nothing sadder than to see the world suffer yet another case of unrequited love."
Rob Brezsny's Astrology - February 25, 2009 FreeWillAstrology.com
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