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Saturday, March 29, 2008

A Random Dream

I wander though halls, through streets, through fields and forests. People are everywhere, crowding around me. It's daylight, yet I can see very little because of the bodies pressing in. Hands grope and grab me and I fight back saying, "stop it!" and "let go of me!" But the hands are relentless. My top is ripped off and my arms are pinned behind me. Fabric from my shirt is used to gag me, to silence me. Then hands are grabbing, groping my breasts. Fingers pinch my nipples, squeeze until I whimper and moan.

I wakeup topless, fondling myself. I laugh.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Shopping Drains Me... Thrifting is FUN!

This is not a very sexy post... not kinky... not erotic. In fact, it's not much of a post at all... it's more of a ramble if anything.

Shopping, which I find necessary on occasion, drains me. It's not that I hate shopping... it just drains me. I went to two thrift stores to find costumes for the show I'm directing and to the grocery store today. The grocery store was a necessity & I had a list (always so much better then when I don't... I get bleary-eyed and zoney when I have no list) so, except for the way discounted Easter candy, I was in & out with only what I needed.

Thrifting's a bit different. Instead of being a drudgery that must follow a list, it's more like treasure hunting. It still exhausts me, but it's a much more fun than tiring... unless I'm looking for something specific... like costumes for a play... which I was.

The first store had nothing I could use, which was frustrating. I found some possible substitutes, but I needed to talk to my co-director before I made any costume changes. So I stopped looking at costume stuff and began looking at fabric for for the Pagan bookstore I will one day have. That was fun!

At the second store, after talking to my co-director, I found some pieces that were better (and cheaper) for the costumes. And I got some pretty pillows for the bookstore. Yippy! I like finding shiny and fancy or soft and smooshy pretty things.

And now, I go sleep.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Hairpins & condom wrappers

After a few months of being a triad and a recent 10 day visit from my couple, I feel that I am just beginning to get to know my girlfriend. She and I, through an unspoken agreement, have backed off from the sexual side of our relationship. We're still intimate on a sensual physically level through cuddling and kissing and hugging and even occasionally groping and nibbling. But the sex had come too fast too soon and I like her too much not to pull back and give our relationship room to breathe.

It's the funny thing that I'm learning about being in a triad... since my dyad with my boyfriend was moving at a certain pace, I felt that my relationship with his wife should be on the same level... I knew better - after all, my relationship with him is nothing like his relationship with her - but my feelings just weren't listening to reason. He was happy that we all seemed to be in the same sexual space and she flows with the current... at least for a little while.

The revelation, though there had been indications of that wellspring a few times before, came through a Tarot reading I did with the triad. The reading itself wasn't terribly mind-boggling, but her reaction to the reading showed me so much. A few of the cards indicated the need to not rush into things and take the time for things to build on their own. Whenever I read one of those, she would turn to her husband, give him a stern look and say, "yeah!" At first I was concerned that she thought he and I had moved to fast, but later, when I thought about it some more, I realized that she had been referring to her and I. Between the Philosopher and I, things have been in a very comfortable stride for a while now. But the velocity of my relationship with the Photographer has been choppy... as if it's tripping over its own feet.

The three of us didn't have sex together after that. He had sex with her in my bed while he and I had sex in the Dungeon. She and I have yet to have sex with just the two of us.

I'm making a concerted effort to pay attention to how we're building our relationship. I feel that all three relationships - mine with them, mine with him & mine with her... (I can't speak for theirs) - have grown. I feel much more comfortable with them, as individuals and as a couple.

I keep finding my girlfriend's hairpins in my bed. Every time I find one, I smile. She slept here... her head laid on my pillow... her body was in this bed. This morning, I found a hairpin and part of a condom wrapper. I'd already been dreaming about them, so the idea of them having sex in my bed filled me with lust and compersion*. Instead of getting up and getting ready for work like I should have, I crawled back into bed and masturbated with thoughts of their love-making in my mind. It was an explosive orgasm... the type I don't usually get through self-stimulation.

*compersion: the experience of taking pleasure when one's partner is with another person; the opposite of jealousy.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

A Reflection on Marks

I like marks... giving them and receiving them. For tonight, my focus is on the receiving end.

I enjoy touching these bruises after my lover has left and remembering the delight in all we did when I received them. Be they whip marks, paddle marks or even just bite bruises, I enjoy them all. I especially like being bitten... being bitten so hard that I'm whimpering; on the verge of crying.

The Philosopher delights in biting and seems to have a special fondness for biting me. And he does it so well! I go practically limp whenever he chomps down. He is amazing at figuring out where to bite, when to bite and how hard to bite and he somehow knows to lessen his hold at just the right moment. I lose my ability to speak. He is a very attentive paramour, listening when I have no words.

I've never had someone so in tune with my... pain-monkey nature. It's quite wonderful.

There are teeth marks on my back and ass and bruises on my breasts. I'm sad that they're already starting to fade. The bruise collar has already healed. (Damn my body & it's fantastic healing capabilities!)

I guess the next time I'm no longer teaching - my current position ends before May - we might just have to make another collar of bruises. And this time, we may take pictures. ;>

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Chew Toy

He says he's gonna give me a bruise collar while they're visiting me.

I said, "as long as the bruises have faded by the time I go back to teaching next week." (I am NOT explaining a bruise collar to a bunch of teenagers.)

We laughed. A bruise bikini was also mentioned and accompanied by more giggles. He bit the side of my neck and left a huge hickey. But nothing more was mentioned so I thought he was joking...

NEVER assume a biter is joking about biting.

Last night, as we were wrestling, the Philosopher pinned me on the bed. He flipped me over and stared me in the eyes. "Remember that the safeword is banana-slug." I nodded.

As I was stuck under him, I struggled to get a better hold of him. But he had better leverage and I was soon pinned again with him biting and sucking the other side of my neck. I squirmed out from under him. He body slammed me, pushing me down half on, half off the bed and bit... HARD. The curious thing is that once he would get a particularly good hold of my neck with his teeth, my nerves go hay-wire and I go almost limp.

And now, as I'm typing this, he's sitting behind me and keeps pulling me back into him to fill in the spots that he didn't bruise last night. The only spot that's left is right in the center of my neck. That spot makes me nervous, even though he says he'll be gentle. (But part of the reason I'm nervous is that he might start in on the bikini...) :O

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Body Parts I like to Fondle - Penises! (part 3)

Penises... I like Penises! I like them whatever they're called.
Be it the Big Lebowski, Blow pop,
Bottle rocket, Cherry poppin' daddy, Meat stick, Crotch cobra, Cunt scrubber, Daddy Long-stroke, Danger the one-eyed ranger, Divining rod, Dribbling dragon, Dr. Feelgood, Fiddle stick, Fire hose, Gherkin, Hanging Chad, Happy Harry Hard-on, Heat-seeking moisture missile, Hot beef injection, Jake the one-eyed snake, Lollipop, Love muscle, Magic wand, Meat puppet, Muscle of love, Night stick, Sex pistol, Shaft of Cupid, Thunderstick, Tickle pickle, Twat torpedo, Vlad the Impaler, Wally the one-eyed wonder wiener, Wang or Woody*... Be they large or small or crooked or straight... (though not infected) I enjoy them.

I like to suck them, an oral sex connoisseur as per my previous post, but I also enjoy fondling them. Now this is not to be mistaken for giving a hand-job. I am not against manual stimulation by any means.
However, if I wish to get my male partner off, I prefer other methods... in fact I will only give a hand-job to someone I feel a great deal of affection for since it is not something I particularly relish. But I do enjoy fondling, caressing, stroking and manipulating the penis. I like tying my partner down and fixating on that small organ of pleasure. I like to tease and torture especially if it is something HE likes. (and, when I'm feeling particularly evil and mistressy, sometimes when it's something he doesn't like.) I take great pleasure in the feel of a penis growing under my touch.


*totally got all these from Woody's World of Penis Euphemisms!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Seed from Which My Poly Life Doth Grow

I met my hetero-lifemate at Borders. Kinda prophetic since we are working towards owning our own bookstore in the not too distant future. I sometimes call her Daisy because she is a wildflower, sometimes my Fungus because our relationship grew in a place where I thought none would grow, and sometimes I call her my Seed. If not for our relationship growing in the soil of my life, I would not have been willing to plant the relationships I have had since meeting her.

A bit o' background: Before I met her I'd had a series of bad relationships that each ended in disaster. But the worst one was the guy who'd asked me to marry him (despite my better judgment that told me I should never get married) then treated me like shit when I informed him I was pregnant (I only wanted him to pay for his half of the abortion) at a time when there was a lot of calamity in my family life. Around that time my group of friends, who had also been his friends, pretty much dissolved. After that I said no way, no how, no more.

Then I met my Seed. We were very wary of each other at first. Circling like vultures; like hyenas. We didn't know whether to flee, to pounce or to hunt together. When she was promoted to manager, she'd been the Special Orders Clerk, she decided to recommend me, a lowly cafe slave, to take over her position. We got to know each other while she trained me and during smoke breaks - we were both smokers at the time - and we started to hang out outside of Borders.

The real deal sealer for our relationship came the day she did not show up for work. I was working in the back office and overheard one of the other managers talking to her. From what I could tell, she was upset and not coming into work because her husband had left. (I'd later find out that he pretty much played a disappearing act with no note or anything. BASTARD!) So, once no one else was in the back office, I called her up and informed her that I was coming over after work and spending the night. I wanted to be there for her in a way that no one had been there for me.

When I got there, I told her, I will not say I'm sorry because who knows if this is a situation to be sorry about nor will I spout any pithy platitudes about how 'you'll be better off' or 'things'll get better' or 'you deserve better' or anything like that. Who wants to hear that shit? I said, "If at any point you get tired of me being here, just tell me to leave and I will. Otherwise, I'm here." She nodded and thanked me.

The wave of family and friends and so called friends stopping by to check on her seemed endless. Her mom was cool though distraught because she felt betrayed as well (she'd been friends with my Seed's husband), her dad fixed her dryer because he's a mechanic and that's how he deals with emotional things but everyone else seemed to be all about the pithy comments and the chocolate. Dear gods! Why do people throw chocolate at a distressed woman? Can you even imagine anyone doing that to a man? It's stupid. Of course, if she was a man, they might have made her dinner. I couldn't contain myself... after each person left, I would pat her hand like they had and mock them, doing my best impression of how they spoke to her. It made her laugh... which only encourage me to do it more. Soon we were exchanging glances and trying not to laugh in the well-wishers' faces. During one particular visit, from a "friend" I'd later learn had made her childhood hell, I had to go to the bathroom for a little bit so we'd stop cracking each other up.

I had the next day off and decided that she needed to take the day off as well. She had the perfect out. I mean, who the hell was going to give her shit for missing work when her husband had just abandoned her especially since she rarely took any time off work? We went shopping and she bought glasses (that she really needed) and we went to Arbys where they put too much meat on everything (we were both meat eaters back then) so she flipped it out the car window then we took pictures. It was so ridiculous and so much fun!

The villainous bastard had left around Thanksgiving, so while I was I spending time with my fam I called my Seed & told her that even though it's an awful genocidal holiday, I was still incredibly thankful to have her as a friend. For New Year's Eve, it was Y2K, we got drunk and waited for the world to blow-up. It didn't. I moved in that year.

The best thing about my Seed is we never fight. We have a few pissy moments here and there, but if it's tending towards a fight, we both walk away, cool down and later discuss things rationally. We started going to pagan camp together and, as I was agnostic at the time, I discovered my pagan leanings. She was a witch all along, but never pushed her spiritual views on me (unlike my hardcore southern baptist parents) and would merely discuss it and say, "this is what works for me". As I was already on my own spiritual journey, it was great to have a person to bounce ideas off of without any judgment.

She is why I am polyamorous. Just because another relationship comes along that's sexual (my Seed is, alas, straight) I will not dump my Seed. Love is an action and in each relationship the action is defined by the people involved. So we don't have sex or cuddle, but we do things for each other all the time. We support and encourage each other constantly. While she does not complete me, we are both complete individuals, she complements my life and (hopefully) I do the same for her.

Of course, being voyeuristicly inclined and filled with a deep sense of compersion helps when thinking of (or hearing since her room is across the hall from each other) her getting it on. It makes me so happy when she's happy and since she's so super-duper sexy, she has guys panting after her. She gets the man and has one or two on the side for... well, when she has some spare time. (HA!)

I love my Seed!!!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Some fun!

As I'm working on some other writing tonight,
I'm not going to have a regular post.
Instead, here's a fun pic!
I found on the web.



Saturday, March 8, 2008

Body Parts I like to Fondle - boy nipples (part 2)

Now I want to talk about boy nipples. Almost as much as girl nipples, I like boy nipples.* I like them for much the same reason that I like girl nipples... I like to pinch, lick, nibble, twist, suck, blow and kiss. I like toying with boy nipples for the pleasure and enjoyment that is playing with boy nipples. But what I like best is hearing the moans and whimpers and squeals of pleasure from my partner.

He didn't want to go up to my room 'cause he would have to go home soon.
"That's fine," I said, "we'll just stay on the couch."
My roommate turned off the lights as she went up to bed and snickered. I pushed him back and pounced. Grinding my pelvis into his, I grabbed his wrists, held them together and thrust them against the arm of the chair above of his head.
"Keep them there," I growled into his ear. He nodded as I chewed on his ear.
Sliding down his body, I pulled his shirt up. He had the cutest pierced nipples... not that I could see them. But I'd seen their shiny bar bells before. At first I just licked. I licked and licked until he was squirming. Then I bit and, catching the metal with my teeth, I pulled up. He squeaked and brought his hands down as if he would stop me.
Grabbing his wrists, I tsked. "Do you need assistance keeping your hands where they belong?" I tweaked his nipples. He gasped and nodded. I slipped the sash from my robe and tied it around his wrists. Then, taking the long end, I pulled his arms over the side and looped it around the foot of the couch.
I went back to biting and sucking on his nipples until he was whimpering. I clawed at his sides, tickling and kissed him. After several minutes, I got up and undid his hands.
"It's time for you to go." I flipped on the light, pulled down his shirt and gave him an evil grin.
"You're wicked. You know that right?" I nodded and smiled even wider.

*I'd like them the same except girl nipples have the advantage of
having boobies attached to them and I like me some BOOBIES!!!

Friday, March 7, 2008

Body Parts I like to Fondle - Boobies! (part 1)

To quote my boyfriend, "I like boobies!"

Now I'm not going to go into a diatribe about the psychological implications that may or may not be inherent in the manual and/or oral appreciation of breasts. Instead, I'm going to explain my personal relationship with boobies.

They don't have to be a particular size to suit me. I like massaging them and feeling their weight and shape. If there are any scars, I'll run my finger along the different texture of skin. And then there're the nipples. I love to suck, lick, bite and kiss. I enjoy nipples that are innies who hide until they're aroused and ones that are outies too. I like boobies!

For myself, I enjoy all of that and more. I've had my dirty pillows clamped with clothes pins and have delighted in that sensation. My fun bags have been bitten until bruised and even spanked. (I was actually surprised at how much I liked that!) I didn't like the electro-shock, no electricity through my nipples please. But cover them in sticky... They've had honey and chocolate and whip cream and other things spread on them then licked off. I can almost cum with just my nipples being played with.

There was this one time...
My partner tied me to the bed, blindfolded and gagged me and informed me that he was going to ignore the rest of my body and only focus on my breasts. Since I was gagged, I couldn't reply but in my head I was thinking 'excellent'. He started by rubbing ice all over my breasts. Once I was shivering, he massaged them until I was quite aroused. Then hot pain dripped on each of my nipples. Hot wax, I surmised as he swirled the candle over my breasts. Once he was done with that, he scraped and washed the wax off.
"Such pretty pink boobies!" He exclaimed, delighted. He suckled on my incredibly tender nipples voraciously. Then he bit and licked them until I was squirming and squealing. Taking off my gag, he kissed me as he pinched and smacked my breasts. And as he bit each of them again, I came.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Craving

Daisy, my hetero-lifemate, and I just got back from the store. She was craving strawberry ice cream and I was craving chocolate. I'm always craving chocolate. How very... typically female of me. *shrug* But it is what it is and I like me some chocolate!

We got two half-gallons of each flavor along with some amazingly rich and delicious chocolate cupcakes. We both ate our fill and lounged about, quite satisfied. "The one thing that would make this just that much more delicious," swooned Daisy, "would be pureed fresh strawberries on it." Her eyes rolled back into her head as she made little orgasmic noises.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

foot fetish

While dating me, a boy I dated, I'll call him Toe, discovered that something about my feet just drove him crazy! He discovered it one night when he was giving me a full body massage. (Oh, I do like massages... giving and receiving.) He started at my head and worked his way down my body. I wasn't surprised when he spent a great deal of time on my boobs and then on my ass, but the tender affection he gave to my feet was like nothing I'd ever felt before. I think at some point, I actually fell asleep or at least drifted off. When I drifted back, I felt him licking and sucking on my toes. It was a little strange to think about, but it felt oh so good. When he jacked off onto my feet, that was weird, but he cleaned them.

Since I was working in a cafe at the time and spending an excessive amount of time on my feet, Toe decided that whenever we had a date right after I had work that I needed to have a foot massage. Not only that, but he would clean my feet then massage them. It was amazing! I had the most pampered tootsies ever.

Then we began to experiment. Or rather I began to experiment. When we would sit across from each other at a restaurant, I would slip off a shoe and put a foot into his lap. He would get hard immediately. I found that if I let Toe massage and suck my feet for about half an hour before we fooled around, the sex would be amazing. The problem with that was, it would make me sleepy. But it felt so good and he quickly figured out ways to arouse me after relaxing me. Then I discovered that I could make him cum with my toes. That was much more interesting than sexy but I liked how it would make him blush. I love making boys blush.

I do not have a foot fetish. I do, however, have a certain love for feet and am sad when lovers do not want me to touch their feet. (I'm fine when they're a bit wary because they have ticklish or sensitive feet.) I like to massage feet, to suck on toes, to tickle insoles... I like how tender and tough feet are. Feet are wonderful.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Voyeuristic Adventure with the Bgoifriend

When the Philosopher arrives home after class, the Photographer and I hide like monkeys under the blankets. (We're silly!) We pretend to be lesbians who don't like boys. Then, in the middle of a conversation about what to eat in which Philo is kneeling next to the futon mattress on the floor where we're lying, Photo zips opens Philo's pants and molests his penis.

After a few comments, she giggles and says, "I don't know, it was there." Yes... but she did have to open up his pants and...

Oh my! Now his dick is out and she's sucking on it. All conversation about food and tying people up to make food chess boards with their bodies has stopped as the sucking continues with a bit of ass smacking by Photo on Philo's now naked ass. So I start typing... but I keep getting distracted by kisses and, well, just the joy of watching my lovers please each other.

"I have a wedgy!" Announces Photo. We all giggle as Philo removes said wedgy along with her panties. Now he's going down on her. Heavy breathing ensues...

"Now this is a first," says Philo, indicating my typing about what they're doing. Though we did have a chat in which they typed the play by play, as he put it, while they had sex. The voyeur in me is quite deliciously aroused.

A condom is requested (I'm by the box o' condoms)... and now they've having hot and sexy intercourse, him on top, her underneath... with sexy little moans...

"Flip over," he says and now it's doggy style with a bit of ass smacking... then they flip again with her folded in half. They're so acrobatic, my lovers.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

My Weekend...

I'm currently visiting my couple so my distraction level is quite high. So this is the post for today. The Philosopher says that I should stock-pile posts. Maybe someday when I have time to just write, & exclusively write for this blog, I will. I doubt it.... but who knows! ;>

For now, I'm gonna go cuddle an talk with them.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Bookstore Fantasy (fiction)

I'm idly looking out the big bay window at the downpour as I price books at half an hour 'til closing time. I see you hurrying across the street as thunder shakes the store. I lower my head, pretending to be engrossed in my work as a smile and a flush takes over my face. My happiest days are when you come in.

You enter the store, dripping from the rain. You shake off & make a lame joke about the weather. I laugh, just a little too loud and long, and you laugh with me. The laughter dies to an uncomfortable silence as you shuffle your feet.

"Um, do you have..." You name an obscure title I've never heard. I look it up, find the author and lead you to our Literature section even though I know it won't be there. I step up on the first rung of the small ladder we have to get a better view of the shelf it should be on and scour it intently, without taking in a single title.

"Sorry we don't have..." I feel your breath at my neck. You wrap your arms around my waist and press your wet head into the spot just above my shoulder blades in the center of my back. My voice wavers. "I um..." You shush me. I hold perfectly still in your embrace.

Another clap of thunder takes out all the lights except the exit signs. We stand in near darkness as you help me off the ladder. You turn me around to face you. I'm swallowed by the shadowed need in your eyes.

"Why don't you lock the door?" Your voice is a husky whisper in my ear. You release me. I lock the door then walk back to you. I know my face is blazing red, but it doesn't matter because it's dark. As soon as I reach you, I push you against the bookshelves. I want to kiss your lips, but you're taller than me so I instead kiss your collarbone. The laugh that had been spilling out at my aggressive push turns into a moan as I pull your shirt collar down and suck and bite your flesh. You grab a handful of my hair and wrench my head back and kiss me. Your hand is under my shirt and grasping my breast as my own hand has found your throbbing member straining against your jeans. I stroke it through the fabric.

Grabbing your wrist, I lead you over to the futon couch and pull you on top of me. We grind like teenagers, exploring each other's bodies with our hands. You pull my shirt off then my bra and suckle on my nipples. I moan, mentally encouraging you to bite. I kiss the top of your head, turn you slightly and
swirl my tongue in your ear as I nibble the lobe and undo your belt.

Before I'm able to release your dick, you slide down my body and pull my pants down. With your face in my crotch, I moan as you write your name with the tip of your tongue on my clit. You write my name, the name of the bookstore and names you want to call me like pet and naughty little girl as I become way more than moist. You slide two fingers up inside me and I scream and buck as you stroke the G cord and continue to write dirty smut with your tongue. Even after I cum, you do not stop.

I am limp as you slip a condom on then lift me up. You carry me and
press my naked back against a bookshelf. You shove your cock up inside me. We rock in place as my fingernails claw ribbons down your back. I orgasm over and over again until you cum with me. You stumble backwards, still inside me, still holding me, until you fall onto the futon with me on top of you. We kiss gently before falling asleep.