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Friday, June 13, 2008

I am not stunning

In my dream a toad like man with horn-rimmed glasses questions the veracity of my erotic writings.
“I mean no offence, but…”
Right away, my ire goes up. Any question or comment starting with that phrase is certain to be offensive. Why don’t people understand that the ‘but’ negates whatever came before it? Breathing deeply, I listen to the rest of what the squat man has to say.
“I mean no offence, but other than your weirdly colored hair and tattoos, aren’t you a bit too plain for anyone to believe that you’ve actually had all these adventures?”
I feel compelled to answer him, to explain myself, to justify my life…

Then I wake with a bad taste in my mouth and a disharmonious vibration in my ears. I feel deflated, as if his questioning me has left me questioning myself. It’s a strange sensation. I am self confident & cocky, not self-doubting & insecure.

My horoscope today had this to say:

“Take a good long look in the mirror and remind yourself that while you might not be the hottest person on earth, you are definitely something special -- especially in the eyes of the people who love you. Having a healthy level of confidence is more important than having a conventionally attractive outer shell. After all, it's just a shell. The magnetic energy you create when you believe in yourself is undeniable. Boost your ego, and you'll see proof of this today.”

I can’t help but wonder; is the universe or my subconscious or both trying to tell me something?


Anonymous said...

As someone that tends to think attractiveness comes more from the inside than any sort of exterior shape, size, or decoration, I've never found any reason to doubt your tales. I don't know you but I've seen no reason to doubt.

Ninian said...

Thanks anonymous!

I've never found attraction to be a purely physical thing or even for the physical to be that important in the equation. But I found it quite amusing that my horoscope was almost directly speaking to a weird dream I had.

Arin Wolfe said...

to quote the who: "nevermind your part is to be what you be"