Hard Limits are there for a reason.
If any limit is violated, a trust is broken, but there is a possibility of things being put right. But if a HARD LIMIT is violated, there is no way of fixing that. One of my Hard Limits is that I DO NOT have unprotected penetrative sex. It's not an unreasonable limit & it also happens to be a hard limit that the Photographer & the Philosopher agreed on. We discussed this, it was well discussed.
The Philosopher broke that sacred trust. I wouldn't even know about this if it weren't for an incredibly accusatory and passive aggressive post by the Photographer.
Here's what happened:
When we were down in the dungeon and I was blindfolded and chained to the ceiling with lube over & up my ass, I found out that he removed the condom and came in my ass. He said, "In the dungeon at one point I asked, 'I'm going to cum in your ass, ok?' (or some similar wording, I'm not sure how I worded it) and waited for your response which was a nod, but I had not in the slightest considered the fact that most people would not take that question to be about removing the condom."
(a) I was blindfolded & chained to the ceiling.
(b) I DO NOT have unprotected penetrative sex.
(c) You DO NOT renegotiate limits in the middle of a scene.
(d) You NEVER violate HARD LIMITS!!!
I'd only just recently become comfortable having anal sex & this happened. I am so hurt, so angry, so scared. Who else has he done this with? The Photographer said she had to push for this information. When did he do something like this yet not tell his wife about it? I cannot trust someone who claimed to care about me but then would abuse my trust like that.
The Philosopher had the nerve to ask that I not post about this...
"I request one thing, if it is not to much, that you not write about this all in your blog. I realize that your blog is an important project, but you also recognize that even with the use of fake names it is still easily enough traced to me and I feel bad enough at the moment without worries about my associates reading details of my breakups, as well as the fact that I am easily embarrassed..."
I hope this embarrasses, humiliates & upsets him enough that he will NEVER do anything like this to anyone EVER again.
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