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Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Interesting Horoscope...

"SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The world is once again falling deeply in love with you. Let's hope that on this occasion (unlike what happened the last two times) you will accept its adoration in the spirit in which it's given. Let's hope that if the world offers you the moon, the dawn, and the breeze, you won't reject these gifts and say that what you really wanted was a comet, the sunset, and a pie in the sky. There would be nothing sadder than to see the world suffer yet another case of unrequited love."
Rob Brezsny's Astrology - February 25, 2009

Thursday, February 19, 2009

What I want...

It's been a while since I posted and I'm having trouble sleeping, so here's a bit of the ramble from my head...

After dealing with the radioactive ooze of my last relationship*, I took some time off from dating. Or, rather, I've been taking time off. It was Fall... and then... it was Winter. I was planning to start dating again in Spring... make a fresh start of things and all that. But that was before the new job & The Artist getting her shop up and running. I might still do it, but I'm not sure. I had all these grand plans to spend lots and lots of time reassessing & reevaluating my romantic / sexual life... Figuring out patterns & habits that may or may not be unhealthy. I was going to dig deep and lay out a list of wants & requirements in what I want from or for a mate or... do I want a mate? Perhaps I want a more snack-centric romantic life. Just a few someones on the side to keep my lovelorn self in check. After all, The Artist is my primary partner and, while we are not sexually involved, she does fulfill my desire for a deep committed relationship quite nicely. Yet I have been thinking about just how lovely it would be to have a sweet sub-boy living with me (eventually, of course.... I have no desire to rush into these things) and a girlfriend who may or may not eventually live with us. The sub-boy & the girlfriend have no need to be involved with each other. In fact, after the heinous ending with the couple, I think it'll be quite a while before I'm ready to deal with anything that even hints of triad.

* excluding the relationship attempt with the Professor...
but that timing was off & my head was in a bad place.
Fortunately, we ended up friends.

And yet part of the reason I'm queer is because I don't like to judge a person by their plumbing. So could my sub-boy be a sub-girl or a transexual-sub? I think so. It is, after all, about the chemistry & the connection I have with the person. And the girlfriend could easily be a boyfriend... or maybe there won't even be a titling as such. And I don't have any desire to start two new relationships simultaneously, so which would be first? And would the "other" non-sub relationship be strictly vanilla? Can I do vanilla? It's been well over a decade since I've had a non-kink relationship. I don't think I even want something so tame. But is thinking like that limiting me?

Then there's the fact that I'm Child-Free. Is this something I should require in my partners? I tried dating someone who had a kid at one point, but there were all sorts of issues before things even got off the ground that had nothing to do with his daughter. So now I'm wondering, could I even date someone who has kids? I know for a fact that if I felt they were a bad parent, I would have to leave because I would feel the need to step in where I don't want / shouldn't be.

And what about the polyamory thing? I don't think I ever want to go back to monogamy, but am I limiting myself? I mean, there is that fact that my relationship with The Artist dictates that I have to be somewhat poly in order to date anyone. But could I date someone who's mono?

Here's a list of my dating requirements:
  • Must be honest, honorable & have a sense of humor (the 3 Hs!)
  • Must get along with The Artist
  • Must love animals (I do work at an animal shelter after all) & get along with my pets
  • Must be pagan friendly / pagan
  • Must be poly
  • Must be self-supporting
  • Must have mode of transportation (I will not be the chauffeur anymore)
  • Must have a passion of their own (i.e. writing, art, cooking, etc.)
  • Must appreciate my writing (no one's required to always like it... I sure as hell don't)
  • Must be sexually compatible
And here are my dating preferences:
  • get along with the Freak Family & my other friends/family
  • child-free
  • a die hard, knock my socks off, romantic
  • willing to eventually move in with me
  • compatible kinks
They're still tentative lists... but at least it's a beginning.

Monday, February 2, 2009

In the spirit...

...of amazing women working on big projects. It only takes a few minutes. So, if you're eligible, please take the survey. Also, please consider reposting or forwarding this message to help out The Women’s Health Access Project (WHAP).

Are you a woman living in the United States?
Are you at least 18 years old?
Would you like to help in the effort to improve health care access?

We want to hear from you!

Melissa Howell, a graduate student in the Department of Sociology at Loyola University Chicago is conducting The Women’s Health Access Project (WHAP), a survey to gather information about what you think about your health, health care access, and how you make health care decisions. The more women who participate, the more information policymakers will have, so we hope you can help!

To complete an anonymous online questionnaire and join your voice with many others, please follow this link:

Spread the word! If you would like to invite other women to participate, please forward or post this message in its entirety.

If you have any questions, please contact the researcher, Melissa Howell, at Loyola University Chicago ( or her faculty advisor, Dr. Anne Figert at or (773) 508-3431.

Thank you for your help!