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Tuesday, March 31, 2009

The Snow Has Melted

Spring is here and I'm dating again. I have my first date on Thursday. It's with a guy I've been chatting up for a while. I met him and his lovely wife and his kids at a poly meetup group. Yep, you read that right.... I'm going on a date with a guy who has kids. His wife's pretty damn awesome & the daughters I only met briefly, they were really sweet. He's smart, sweet, awfully cute and incredibly interesting. We'll see how things go!

Friday, March 27, 2009

Closets - a bit of a rant

I'm not a fan of closets. And no, not those little rooms where garments and other random items get stored. Though, oddly enough, the one in my bedroom is broken & not used as much of a closet.

I'm referring to the closets people put themselves in. It's not that I run about waving the freak flag (despite my tattoos often being on display) or feel that it's necessary for everyone to know all the details of my personal life, but if the subject comes up or I'm asked, I don't hide who I am. I know that not everyone is so fortunate as I am to have a job where no one's going to care that I'm a bi-poly-pagan-kinkster. Not that I go into any of that with the clientele and definitely didn't discuss it with my students when I was teaching. So, in that way, my professional life is separate from my personal life. Though I have had someone ask me about my pentagram & I explained it in very general terms. I also had a discussion about homosexuality with some students who were tossing around the word 'gay' as if it were an insult. So aspects of my personal life do come up.

While I'm open to my family, my parents (southern baptist / born again christians) have a way of not really acknowledging the things about my life they don't approve of and I'm not one to shove these things down anyone's throat. The last time I visited, my dad & I actually had a decent conversation about my Paganism. It ended with him saying he fears I'm going to hell. His intentions were well meaning. But I would hate to be in a closet concerning my personal life with anyone I live with... again.
I began my kinky exploration while living with my parents & they never knew. Much to their dismay, they found out about my sexual promiscuity since I was spending the night over at a boyfriend's house that just so happened to be two doors down from one of their fellow church goers. She felt it was her christian duty to tell my parents, even though I was an adult at the time, that she had seen my car overnight at his house. My dad lectured me on how it 'looked'. I think he was most upset because it made him look bad.
Me: How does it look?
Dad: Like you're having sex.
Me: I don't care if it looks that way.
Dad: Is that because you're having sex?
Me: Yes.
HUGE can of worms... threats of kicking me out of the house.... a 2 hour preaching at about how I'm ruining my life. Fun, fun, fun!

I was much more open about my spiritual exploration... not that my folks wanted to hear it. Throughout high school, I tried to explain my dissatisfaction with their religion & how none of my questions where being answered so I was researching many different paths of spirituality. But they just kept going back to "there is only one true way" & "you just have to have faith" mantras.

I suppose I can appreciate a well built solid closet. I just don't want to live in one or even spend a lot of time visiting one.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Musing on being Child-Free

I've been thinking a lot about my Child-Free stance in relation to dating. As I am Child-Free, is this something I should require of those I date? Or should I merely have a "no involvement with the kids" policy? As in, if someone I'm dating has kids, I make it very clear from the get-go that I will not be getting involved with the kids. I am not going to be a babysitter or 2nd mom to your kids. But I know that with most folks who live with and care for their kids that means our relationship will only be able to go so deep. The Artist argues that since one cannot control how one feels, this will most likely be a set-up for failure. But I argue that it might not matter. After all, I've not had a romantic/sexual relationship last longer than 2 years. Perhaps setting boundaries on my emotions will be a good thing.

But I know me... I like kids, we get along. There's a chance that if I hang out with the kids I will, without wanting to, become emotionally invested. So maybe, the policy should be, "no getting involved with breeders" since it's the over-population/uncontrolled breeding factor that I am philosophically against.

I was chatting/flirting with the Librarian about being child-free. The thing is, the Librarian is married with kids. The kids he acquired with the marriage. He is not a breeder. He is philosophically Child-Free and yet has kids. And not just "has kids" as unto, they exist but he's not all that involved in their lives. No. He, in fact, is a big part of their lives. He is deeply involved in raising & educating them. He's a really awesome guy & we have a lot in common, but that one thing... Maybe I should just see what happens.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Heathen Ink is having a GRAND OPENING Parrrrrrrr-Tay!!!!

Bring In Spring With A Grand Opening!
Where: HeatheN Ink
5535 S. Archer Ave.
Summit, IL 60501
When: Saturday, March 21, 6:30PM

Come one, come all to:

HeatheN Ink
Check out the new digs, peruse the inventory, enjoy tasty treats & be entertained!

I'm ever so pleased to announce that Christina King, one of Chicago's premiere belly dancers, will be performing for us!

We'll be having Tattoo Stories from
the Chicago Writers' Coven featuring:
CSE Cooney
Shomari Black
Allison Lake
Jeanine Marie Vaughn

Enter our $1 Raffle for a variety of prizes including a $40 gift certificate for tattoos/piercings at HeatheN Ink!

Later in the evening, we have our very own rattle-the-roof, knock-your-socks-off band!
Saint Aviator featuring Meg Karma

Feel free to invite your friends, family, neighbors, coworkers... just anyone who needs some
HeatheN Ink!

If you have Tattoo or Piercing Queries, e-mail Bek:
If you have any Event Questions, e-mail Jeanine: