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Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Audacious

Monday evening I wrote this:

I am sitting in the Firebird’s Aerie, writing along side her as she writes.
We do this.
The Firebird is currently on her own path of passion. She is experimenting… playing a May game in which she has four different dates with four different men all in the same month. Thus far, there are three. The first is the man she has known and been friends with. She asked him out. Then the man she met briefly who went out of his way to find her again. The third is a friend of a friend. The Firebird’s friend wanted them to meet in only a sideways attempt at playing matchmaker. And there will be a fourth.
I admire the Firebird. She sets a challenge for herself and accepts her own challenge. I know she will succeed in this endeavor because she is The Firebird. I aspire to be as audacious as she.

And speaking of audacity, dear readers, I should bring you up to date on the happenings with my delectable (de-LICK-able) Crumpet. And yes, I do call him mine. It’s a funny thing with Polyamory… A person can belong to you in the sense of “being apart of your life” and still belong to another. It’s beyond sharing… something I haven’t yet the vocabulary for, but it’s beautiful, whatever it’s called. Compersion comes close. But it’s more than the feeling of glee when your lover is with another lover… in fact, it’s more than emotion. It’s an honor and a privilege… And now I’m rambling…

I had initially intended to write about every single date. A kind of experiment of my own to see if I could do it. I got as far as the second date & got, shall we say, distracted. Well, that and I got busy. Life, you know? Though I wonder if that’s all entirely true. There is a part of me that just wanted to be selfish and keep him all to myself… at least for a while. Though I knew it wouldn’t last forever. For even though I am not an exhibitionist in person, I am one in words. I adore displaying my amorous escapades for the world to read. I want everyone to celebrate and luxuriate in the things I do to, with and for my lovers.

This week, I will write... every day.

3 comments:

Pixie said...

*soft sigh* May I just say you are awesome, Lady? I'm daydreaming of a time that my loves can embrace compersion in the way you describe...

Onnen said...

I agree. As much as he is anyone's other than his own, he is yours. As well as mine. :) Personally, I don't see it some much as sharing as.... I don't know, being blessed to have him in my life? Gods, he's going to get a swelled head from that one. In my head, I picture us all as strands of yarn in a tapestry. Sometimes the yarns only touch once, other times they entwine. A single yarn can entwine with more than just one other yarn... isn't that how the tapestry is held together?

Ninian said...

Pixie: Thank you. I wish the same for you and all your loves.

Onnen: *giggle* That ego will have to be deflated. I've got a pin!
Your tapestry analogy is beautiful. I really like it. I might have to borrow/steal it. ;)