Crumbs in my Cleavage

Sexy Birthday Part 1: Kittenfae!

2011-12-01T20:02:00.001-06:00

Let me gooze on a bit about Kittenfae...
Kittenfae is a sweet, sexy minx that I met at Lothlorian many years ago. I've always thought she was cute, but over the years I developed quite the crush on her. She's a bellydancer and an artist and crafty and an animal lover. She has eyes the color of mermaid oceans, a smile that looks like a giggle and the most infectious laugh ever. She's one of the most adorable people I've ever met! I only saw her at festivals, but the attraction was there and the flirting kept getting stronger. Randomly, when sitting around the fire, she sat in my lap. (She has the best muffins!) One drunken night, we kissed. It was delicious! But it was just a kiss and a grope then Kittenfae scampered away.

She was in the area for a bellydancing thing. It was good to see her. Even though we went swimming and flirted like mad, nothing happened... again. Then on Fetlife, we started flirting more and I confessed that I had the hots for her. I'm still not sure if she was teasing, since I thought I was ridiculously obvious, but she said she didn't know and confessed her attraction for me. Yet there was still the distance. I figured if anything was going to happen, it would be at festival.

But I was plotted against... or rather, for. For my birthday, Ripedoll and Starhealer hatched a plan. They would bring me Kittenfae as a present! They even put a bow on her.

The night of my party, I got really, really drunk. There was quite a bit of making out, but I wasn't going to bail on my friends. And Kittenfae, being the awesome person she is, wanted to stay with the party too. Having worked that day before the party, I was getting pretty tired and, at one point, Kittenfae and I fell asleep cuddled together on the Chaise.
Later I was told that when I woke up, I decided to go to bed and invited Kittenfae to join me. Then I loudly announced, "We're going to bed to sleep right now. But tomorrow we're going to wake up and have sex!" And Kittenfae giggled.

And that's just what we did. The morning sex was awesome! But before that, we slept pressed close together. I found that I adore swaddling her body with my own. She smells like rain must when it rests in the clouds and her hair is tuggably soft. I often don't sleep well with someone else in bed with me. But that night, it felt so comfortable.

In the morning I woke first and started stroking her skin. She made soft little moaning noises as she woke. Nemi, one of my cats, jumped on the bed demanding pets. We both giggled, petted the kitty, then got back to the slow touching exploration of each other's bodies. I found her ticklish in lots of places and she found my tickle spots too. Then clothes came off and I kiss/nibbled my way down her body. I wanted to bite her, hard. But we hadn't discussed marks so I asked if they were okay. She shrugged. So I only left a few little bites and sucks. Two bite marks were on the cleavagey swell of her pert breasts. I worked my way down her body as she giggled them moaned until I was between her legs. Her juices tasted of of a fruit I have never known but always craved. I kept touching her with my hands, squeezing a nipple, clawing at delicate flesh, as I licked and sucked her. I slid one, then two fingers inside her. She moaned and thrashed then asked for a towel. I pulled the comforter under her then went right back to making her scream and ungulate her body until she came.

We talked then shebegan kissing and sucking on me. Once she had her face between my thighs, she purred me to orgasm. Such a good kitten!

BDSM Quiz Results

2011-10-27T10:12:00.000-05:00

From the Quiz: Do you have an inclination for BDSM?

You Scored as Switch
(((Note: This quiz is not totally comprehensive because of the length such a quiz would be. I kept it sex-based because I felt that psychological profiles and motivations were too complicated and vary too greatly among people that practice BDSM.))) You know what you want but it has nothing to do with your own role in the bedroom. You have the ability to be flexible in that area which can be useful for exploring you sexuality with your partner.

Switch

96%

Sadist

82%

Experimental

82%

Masochist

71%

Dominant

71%

Bondage

68%

Submissive

61%

Degradation Lover

54%

Exhibitionist / Voyeur

46%

Vanilla

18%

"Asking Too Much" by Ani DiFranco

2011-10-25T10:58:00.001-05:00

Recycling may be good for the earth, but it's bad for my love life

2011-10-23T18:59:00.001-05:00

So Carrot & I had a long relationship talk on Tuesday in which he said that even though he's unsure of things, he wants to try dating in a more serious capacity and see where things take us. You know, that whole boyfriend / girlfriend thing. Our first date as a couple was supposed to be last night... he was even going to spend the night so we'd get some extra time together. (I'm sure you noted the "supposed to" and "was even going to"...)

A bit before 1:30, I get this text, "Question for you... Would you be terribly disappointed if I canceled tonight?"
To which I responded, "Yep." And asked him why. He explained that his roommate / good friend just broke up with her boyfriend because she caught him cheating on her and Carrot felt that she needed a friend there and that he was that friend. I explained that I had turned down work and rearranged things in order to be with him. (As a dogwalker / pet sitter, I don't get regular time off. So if I make time for you it's a big deal.) I understand being there for a friend, but this was our first date as a couple... kind of important. He proposed a compromise of comforting her for a while then coming to me later. After a bit of back and forth, we worked it out.

But then... At 9:55 I get this text: "In so fucking hammered right omw in not going any where in so so so fucking sorry." I respond with a delicately phrased, "Fuck you". He sends back, "Well all right then" and I text, "You are completely disrespectful of my time and me as a person." To which he responds, "Well fuck me then"
And, since I was so upset, I got drunk too. My drunken text to him was, "You know what I don't do, I don't make plans with someone I care about then GET FUCKING DRUNK and blow her off." (Which, looking at it sober, I'm glad I sent it.)
It's not him comforting his friend that I have a problem with... it's not even him canceling... it's that he knew he was coming to see me and he chose to get drunk instead. I rank below alcohol... my time is worth less than getting drunk.

What I don't get is why we had that talk? Why did he waste my time and say things like he was going to prioritize me and that he wanted to be with me? I just don't get it. I probably never will.

And no... He hasn't even tried to contact me.

Dirty Carrot

2011-10-11T12:01:00.006-05:00

I've recently started seeing an ex, I'll call him Dirty Carrot, from a dozen years ago. We'd ended on amicable terms and, even though we've drifted in and out of contact throughout the years, I've always had a special place in my heart for him... I always will.

But 12 years is a long time. Combine that with the fact that when we dated before, he was 18. He has grown into a man who, at his core is still who he was but is now more mature... more self confident... more everything. And different. He's changed... and so have I.

The situation still makes my head spin. I wasn't expecting it. My sister, who introduced us to each other lo these many years ago, was in town visiting. While she was here, they hung out, caught up on each other's lives, and he said he would like to get back in touch with me.

So we did. But I was under the impression that it was a, 'let's get together and try being friends again' type deal. After we broke up, we stayed friends for about a year... longer than we dated. And maybe, that's what he was thinking too. After all, I was very up front (as I am) and told him I was poly and got the distinct impression that he wasn't the least bit interested. He said he doesn't share well and that while he's glad it works for me, he didn't think it was something he could do. He even had a girlfriend who tried to push a poly-like situation on him in the worst possible way. She did this whole after the fact being honest thing.

Her: Oh, I went out with this guy...
Him: As long as you don't kiss him.
Her: Oh, I kissed him...
Him: As long as you don't sleep with him.
Her: Oh, I had sex with him...
At that point, he broke up with her.

But that's not poly... that's cheating. I believe that one of the most important aspects of poly, along with honesty, is negotiating the boundaries... beforehand. That's why the beginnings of any poly relationship are so much stickier than others. There's just so much to negotiate! That whole communicate, communicate, communicate mantra.

Back to Dirty Carrot.... We went to dinner. He caught me up on his life, I caught him up on mine... well, as much as one can over a meal. Then we went back to my place to chat some more.

All this time, my feelings for this man were bubbling just beneath the surface. The chemistry I have with him is ridiculous! I mean, he's physically adorable, really smart, his wit slays me, he's sexy, and I feel so comfortable around him. The attraction I have for this guy is like nothing I've had with anyone else... except his younger self. But I wasn't going there... Mostly because I didn't think he wanted to go THERE.

At home, Sir Artist and our wonderful new housemate, Powers, were in the living room talking with us. They were on the futon while Dirty Carrot & I were sharing the Chaise. (The Chaise we have is kind of like an over stuffed and extra large sofa chair with an ottoman built in.) I was sitting back & he was on the ottoman part leaning against the wall. Powers had just had an amazing first date so he was all starry eyed and was telling us all about it. Then Dirty Carrot had a leg cramp. I moved so he could lean back on the chaise. As I sat forward, he pulled me back saying, "sit with me."

So now I'm tortured... there's no way to share this chair without touching, so we are and he's warm and my libido is raging and he feels so good and I want to sink into him but I can't because it's just a friend thing, right?
Yet his hand brushes my thigh... once, twice, three times... and he's caressing my arm with his other hand and... people don't disappear... I know my roommates are there, but I've lost all awareness of them. I'm tingling all over and flushed and can think of nothing more than, "oh gods! I want to kiss him!" And he kisses me.
Not a peck... not just a brush of lips... no, a full on tongue and saliva melt me into the furniture kiss. And fondling and touching me there and there and... oh my sacred orgasm!... there, oh wow, there...
I'm beyond any rational thought, but clothes miraculously stay on and he did eventually go home... with promises of more to come.

How Important Is Sex?

2011-08-13T21:44:00.002-05:00

I'm going through a bit of a celibate phase right now. It might be psychological, but that doesn't change the fact that I have no desire for sex. (I even get bored if I try to masturbate!) Now the weird thing is, I still find certain people and situations very sexy, I just don't want to have sex. I even feel sensual and cuddly and still LOVE kissing and touching and fondling... but as soon as things start heading towards... that... well, I just lose interest.

My question to you, dear readers, is:

Is it fair to the other party for someone who's not interested in having sex to have romantic entanglements?

(Assume that everything is open and honest.)

So Meta!

2011-06-08T08:00:00.006-05:00

An ex of mine decided to go through the archives of this blog and use what I'd written in my nonfiction posts as a springboard for accusations about me being disingenuous. My actions with her apparently didn't match what I'd written therefore I misrepresented myself. The majority of the examples given were from posts written 2-3 yeas ago. Now I'm not saying that this blog won't give some insight into my psyche or my sexual persona, but it is not a road map nor a recipe nor a secret code for getting to know how to deal with me.

I do not use my blog to tell anyone how they should act. I might, on occasion, muse over how certain behaviors will cause different responses in me, but it's not in an effort to change others. If someone reads something and it makes them reevaluate why they do certain things in a certain way or whatever, that's cool. But that's not my intent. This blog is very egocentric. It's focus is on me and my feelings and responses to things.

Some of what I do use this blog for is to sort through what's going on in my life. (Or, at times, what has already happened.) My emotions tend to be oceanic; ever changing with the sky and the things that pass through them. That's particularly true for the emotions that are closest to the surface and the shore. That's why I try my best not to base important decisions solely on what I'm feeling at the moment. Just like the ocean, my deeper emotions are steady. They may feel a ripple or two when there's turmoil on the surface, but that does not change the waters deep. Those emotions take time to flow from the surface to the depths and not all feelings make it.

In some of my posts, I'm exploring something new for me. I use the blog as a kind of diary to record things and how I feel about them so I can go back later and see if I feel the same way or if anything has changed.

I also use my blog for tasting new ideas and concepts in the open air. I'm hoping for comments or private responses to see what others think/feel so I can weigh it against my own thoughts and feelings then, possibly, explore again.

Does this mean I lie in my blog? I don't believe so. But the entries that are not fiction may hold only a portion of the story.

The Perils of Poly by Gaia Consort

2011-05-19T17:50:00.005-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Knubg6YpYP8

"If we all dream together, can we nightmare too?"

Musing on Orgasms

2011-04-22T10:06:00.007-05:00

A friend of mine of Facebook posted this link:

http://img.tapuz.co.il/forums/20354349.htm

This combined with some quality time I spent with myself yesterday got me thinking about orgasms. In some ways, I'm a total guy when it comes to orgasms. I cum easily. But as a woman, I can cum several times in one encounter. And yes, this combination is just as AWESOME as it sounds! At least it is when I'm masturbating.

When I have a partner, it can be very different.

Crumpet takes a while. The man has stamina! But sometimes that stamina can lead to me wondering what I should do differently so we don't reach the, "you know what, I'm really tired..." point. (And it's not just me who gets tired! He does too!) But the other things we do are woohoo, mrower!!

Raspberry and I are still figuring each other out. She says she takes a while to get there. But sometimes the most fun is in the journey!!

The fact that I can cum easily can be exciting, intimidating, fun or exacerbating depending on the lover.

Without even trying...

2011-04-08T08:26:00.009-05:00

The other evening, I was out with the Artist, Raspberry and Crumpet. We were at Rock Bottom getting drinks (I was having water 'cause I'm just that hardcore) and munchies. When Crumpet and I arrived, the Artist & Raspberry were already there. They had drinks and Raspberry was chatting excitedly. (She's so adorable when she's tipsy!) The atmosphere was quite festive when the server came over to take our orders.

Server: Is there anything I can get you? Some drinks? Appetizers? Just say what you want and it's yours! It's like magic... you say it and POOF it appears! Well, not quite appears... more like you say it, I go get it and bring it to you. You know, magic!

Me: Or like you're a slave a boy. I say what I want, you make it happen.

Server: N-n-no... magic. It's like magic.

With that one line, I apparently offended this smooth talkin' scrawny white guy 'cause he stopped talking to me, looking at me or even refilling (until I insisted) my water. I have such a way with people!

Emotional Privacy

2011-04-04T09:33:00.005-05:00

"I just have a lot of feelings!"

I'm a very passionate person. But just because I feel something deeply and intensely, doesn't mean anyone necessarily knows what those feelings are. (Sometimes I don't even know!!) I don't always share my feelings. It's not that I can't, it's just that I like to take time with them... live with them... really get to know if they're feelings that are here for the long haul or if they're just overnight visitors.

When I was younger, my emotions ran my life. While I do not regret my past, for who I am today is built on who I was yesterday, I sometimes wonder what my life would be like if I had stopped and thought before diving in. (It's amazing I never busted my head open! Though metaphorically I kinda did a few times...) But I did learn from this. I learned to step back from my feelings, to give them space and room to breath. I also learned that sometimes I feel things that aren't really there. For example, first thing in the morning when I'm not awake, my big gray cat will decided to be incredibly affectionate. I will feel a GREAT HATE for my cat at that moment because he woke me up and try to push him off the bed. But once I wake a bit, I hear his purrs and cuddle with him and feel a GREAT LOVE towards him. Extremely opposite feelings within moments of each other. He never questions this, he just comes back and purrs and kneads... makin' biscuits!

A bit of context: The Artist has recently started dating Cake, Raspberry's husband. (Raspberry and I have started dating again which is going well. More on that later!) She wrote in her blog about how she plans to have a meeting with them. I was a wee bit hurt that I was not included since I am part of this whole poly... squared... squad... thing. So, me being me, I asked her about it. Since I had to cancel our date Saturday due to illness and utter exhaustion, she explained that she had planned to talk to me on our date about what she plans to talk with them about at the meeting. She didn't mean to leave me out and invited me along. (I kinda felt like I invited myself... I hate when I get pushy.) So I asked her what the "meeting" would be about. (This, by the way, was all via text.) She typed, "I thought it would be a good idea for us to get together and put how we are all feeling about each other and everything on the table." I had no idea how to respond to this. I'd already gone and invited myself along. While having the same conversation one on one makes me squirm, at the idea of all of us having this conversation together makes my throat dry and my stomach churn.

To be clear, I'm not opposed to discussing feelings, I just think it's better to let it come about naturally and to allow others their emotional privacy. If I need to share something, I will. If you want to ask, then ask. Just be aware that the answer might be ambiguous as I'm still living with my feelings and making sure they're real. I also don't feel that I need to know the Artist's feelings about Cake or his feelings towards her unless they choose to tell me. And on a friendship level, the feelings between Raspberry and the Artisit are between them. I don't include feelings between Cake and I because we've spent so little time together... none alone. He seems like a great guy; I just don't know him that well. Perhaps that's why she didn't include me in the mod-pod-squad thing. Does it sound like I'm freaking out? Yeah... I kinda am. I fear my emotional privacy is in jeopardy before I know what my feelings really are. Am I possibly making too much out of this? Very possibly... but this is how me being open with my feelings goes.

Wow, is it messy.

Pretty Flower!

2011-03-15T23:48:00.001-05:00

Moustaches!

2011-03-04T21:35:00.001-06:00

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/songs/Moustaches/

Mommy & joey

2010-11-21T03:03:00.008-06:00

I've never had a desire to be a mom. I'm a fun aunt and get along with kids, but momming is just not for me.

But the Mommy/boy (or girl) dynamic in a BDSM scenario has held my curiosity for quite some time. I even explored it a bit via chat with someone who was really into it. That kinda made it hotter and more appealing. Then His Grace (who's a switch) mentioned that his little side, joey, was interested in exploring the Mommy/son dynamic. I really liked that it would be both of us journeying into this taboo-ish territory together. Thus far, we've only done one actual scene... but wow, was it HOT!!

"Mommy?" the tentative whisper is accompanied by the bed moving as Joey crawls under the covers. I'm lying on my back as he presses himself against my right side. I yawn and wrap my arms around my whimpering son.

"Did you have a bad dream, sweety?" I can feel him nodding his head against my chest. Shifting slightly to lightly run my nails over his back, I ask, "do you want to tell Mommy about it?" He mutters something about what he dreamed. I can't understand it, but it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Mommy's going to make it all better.

"Shhhhhh.... here baby." I guide his head to my right breast. "Open up and suckle on Mommy's nipple. That'll make you feel better." I moan slightly as he latches on. "It always does." He nods against me.

I hum a comforting tune as I twine my fingers in his hair, using it as a handle to position his head so I can lick and nibble his earlobe. He gasps slightly, puts his leg over mine and presses his hardening boyhood against my hip. I slide my left hand down his body and fondle him. He bites. I grab his hair and yank him back.

"Mommy's other nipple needs some attention!" He dutifully crawls onto me, his mouth to my left tit, his left hand pinching and squeezing the other one. I feel his other hand massaging its way down my belly as he stretches himself along my body. His fingers stroke my pubic hair and I open my legs as he finds my moist slit.

"Mmmmmm... that's Mommy's good boy." My fingernails claw into his back as his fingers find a rhythm on my clit. Pulling his hair again, I unlatch him from my breast. "Suck up Mommy's juices, sweetheart." I shove his head under the covers and shudder as he licks me with the skill years of training have taught him. I grip his hair with both my hands, shoving his face into my pussy. Pleasure shoots through me as my hips buck and I cum. He licks and sucks me, sliding one then two then three fingers up inside me. I grunt and pant and scream and gasp as orgasm after orgasm rollicks through me. As my body vibrates, I pull him up to my lips and kiss him deeply, tasting my flavor in his mouth.

"Your such a good boy." He presses his eager cock against my leg but I ignore it & snuggle him against me. "Not scared anymore?"

"Uh-uh," he shakes his head, rolling my nipple between his fingers.

I gently move his hand. "No more sweety. Momma's gotta sleep now." I feel his hand on his member as he sighs in frustration. I slap his hand. "Now what have we said about that?"

"To leave your bed if I want to touch myself."

"Exactly. If you wanna snuggle Mommy, you can't play with your tool. So what's it gonna be, baby?"

His voice is muffled against my flesh, but I can just make out, "snuggle Mommy."

I squeeze him tighter. "Good boy. Now let's go to sleep before Mommy has to get up for work."

And now I'm having fantasies about Mommy punishing joey. I feel a good OTK session with Mommy's barehand on joey's bareass and perhaps a bit of Mommy's wooden hairbrush too. It's a scenario that will have an easy motivation for Mommy since joey & ninamarie (my little persona) have been doing some naughty sexual things. (And they're cousins too!!)

Have I not mentioned my fetish for incest taboos? Yeah.... it's one of those that even playing at it makes me squirmy...

B'day Spanking!

2010-11-09T14:59:00.007-06:00

For my birthday, Crumpet received a sound spanking with a wooden spoon by none other than the Artist!

The Butt:
Right Cheek:
Left Cheek:
Rosy butt of Crumpet:

Poor Crumbs!

2010-11-01T09:09:00.007-05:00

Such neglect!! I should be punished! But then that goes into the whole dilemma of how you punish a masochist... snicker
While it is no excuse, There has been quite a lot going on in my life. For now I will give a tantalizing list to be expanded on in later posts. In fact, most of this list will be the topics I will post about.

I got a promotion in my job. Woo-hoo! --- I won't be writing here about that, but it has been consuming time and energy.
The Artist (my hetero-lifemate) and I will be moving into Chicago in January. The Freak Family is forming a co-op to purchase a 3 flat. The 3 flat has been purchased by one couple & the co-op will be buying it from them. Kind of a venture deeper into the poly lifestyle with a live-in arrangement. One of the difficult thing about this for me is that I am not sexually involved with anyone in the group. Not that I need to be, it's just that I'm being pulled further away from my lovers while everyone else is getting closer. But it's an adventure!!
And yes, I did write "lovers"... plural! I now have 2 boyfriends.
Crumpet and I are still doing quite well and I have stories to tell about our adventures.
My "romantic friendship" with His Grace has gotten quite sexual as well as still being very romantic and we are now dating. We are both smitten kittens and calling and texting and emailing like teenagers. Since CampOUT, he's been here once and I've visited MI once and he plans to come right after Thanksgiving. Woot!! Much, much, MUCH to tell there!!

That's all for now. I hope this wets your appetite... and possibly other things as well. ;)

The New Age of BDSM

2010-08-27T08:51:00.004-05:00

I found this article to be interesting and thought you might too!

The Old Masters: BDSM's Popularity Grows Among Senior Citizens

A little something I stumbled across on ze interwebs

2010-08-27T08:37:00.006-05:00

Click on image to enlarge.

Queer

2010-08-03T13:29:00.007-05:00

For the longest time I've identified as bisexual. And it's true, I am bisexual. I am attracted to both men and women. But for a few years, I've been debating with myself about the validity of that sexual identity. A good portion of these debates stem from being involved with CampOUT and getting to know several super sexy transgendered folks. And while identifying as bisexual is all well and good, I feel that my attractions are not on a binary. A person biologically born female or male but identifies as the other gender or not as a gender at all can be just as attractive to me. And lately, due to one of my Lovlies being a transman (hehehe! Transman sounds like he should be some sort of superhero!), I've felt that bisexual doesn't fit anymore. Perhaps I've out grown the label. I feel it is much more accurate to call myself Queer.

Raspberry Date

2010-08-02T09:13:00.002-05:00

Delicious, delicious Raspberry! Oh how I do enjoy kissing you!

We've had a few dates thus far. She's delightful! Sad thing is, I'm almost always tired when I see her. (It's because of my job... I seem to be always tired.) So things have only gone so far sexually. We're talkin' hot and heavy make out sessions (like the one in the car Saturday night, YUM!) and fun cuddling, but not even a stitch of clothes removed. It's frustrating, but in the most delicious way! While I doubt I would've chosen it if I was well rested, I'm actually enjoying this taking it slow. Way too often things get rushed with the physical side and, while it sometimes works beautifully, I wonder how it would've been different if we had slowed down a bit.

So the other night Raspberry took me to meet some of her friends. Her hubby was there and it was cool just to hang out and chill. Her friends are pretty cool! At one point, her hubby came over, sat between the two of us with his arms around our shoulders, and said, "these ladies are comin' home with me!"
His friend laughed, "yeah, but you don't get to do anything with them!"
To which he replied, "I get to hear it and might even get to watch. That's hot!"
It made me giggle, I love voyeurs!!

A Smattering of Lovlies!

2010-07-30T21:59:00.007-05:00

I've been negligent in my posting due to much going on in my life which has included a smattering of Lovelies. What, you ask, is a Lovely? I'm glad you asked! For me, a Lovely is someone who is thus far not yet a lover, but someone I wish and hope will be. A lovely is a person who is not only a romantic interest, but has reciprocated such attentions... usually with a bit of tongue! ;)

The first Lovely is Raspberry. Raspberry and I have had a few dates and we will be having one tomorrow evening. She is super cute and cuddly and kissable! She is also someone I admire for the work she does with the elderly. She is sexy and subby and yummy! She lives nearby which is a double bonus for me.

Then there are my IN Lovelies. I haven't nicknames for them yet... but camping in May led to some fun & surprising smooching. I've had quite a crush on her and an itty bitty crush on him quite a while. (The Artist has a bit of a crush on him too.) I now have a full tilt crush on them both!

At CampOUT, my head almost exploded! A beautiful Pearl caught my eye and proceeded to seduce me. If I hadn't been working... if there weren't so many distractions... if I was a different sort of person... there would have been more than just delectable kisses and sweaty hugs. Sadly, she lives in NC. Happily, she plans to come to CampOUT next year! And we've emailed a little... we'll see...
Then His Grace who's a friend that I've had an ever growing crush on for a few years now, made it clear that he too has had a crush on me. We cuddled and kissed and have begun a "Romantic Friendship". (Neither of us felt that "friends with benefits" worked for us.) It's quite sexy what with the getting to know each other via email and flirting via text and planning for future meetings. He lives in MI with his wonderful and equally sexy husband His Eminence. I'm so looking forward to visiting them! (Hopefully, sometime soon.)

And things are going well with Crumpet, though he and I are having separate life upheavals and can't make plans for a while. I miss him.

So much more to write about! But I must go sleep or I will be useless tomorrow.

Life Shifting & Interesting Horoscope

2010-06-16T07:56:00.004-05:00

I have not been feeling very sexual as of late. Amorous and playful, but not terribly sexual or kinky. A large part of this is do to all the life shifts going on. The Artist, four others and I are working towards moving into the city. We have a place, but it needs work and we also have two houses to fix up for selling. I'm also exhausted from my job. I'm job hunting, but that eats up more time and energy. My focus feels stretched thin because even when I'm trying to be fully engaged in one situation, a portion of my brain is still gnawing on the others.

Last night, Crumpet brought over a porn called Pirates. It's one of the better made porns I've ever seen and I rather enjoyed it. It's not unusual that a porn doesn't get me all hot & bothered, I usually find them too funny to get off on, but this one had quite a bit of spitting that actually turned me off. Spitting... not my kink. There were some pretty decent sex scenes, so my dreams were rather sexual in nature.

Today when my Rob Brezsny horoscope arrived in my inbox, I was surprised to see that he references S&M & disappointed that he referred to S&M scenarios as "compromising entanglements". I do wonder if he's leaning more on the metaphorical rather than the actual. It's interesting to say the least:

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): If you have been engaged in any S&M scenario, even metaphorically, now would be a good time to quit it. Whether you're the person who's whipping or being whipped, the connection is no longer serving any worthy purpose. The good news is
that freeing yourself from compromising entanglements will make you fully available to explore new frontiers in collaboration. You will also be blessed with an influx of intuition about how to reconfigure bonds that have become blah and boring. And what if you're not currently involved in any S&M scenario? Congrats! Your assignment is to transform one of your pretty good relationships into a supercharged union that's capable of generating life-changing magic.

Poem of a Dream

2010-04-09T08:37:00.005-05:00

Down Below

Midnight waters
Dark haired daughters
Swimming in a salty sea
Glowing skin
A light within
Not a stitch of clothes I see
Her black eyes lure medown below
Not a single word is spoken
Wet lips meet mine
down below
Not a single vow is broken

Her fingers lick
My skin does tickBubbles from my mouth do burst
She swallows each
Within her reach
I suck on her to quench my thirst
She pulls me deeper
down below
So many caves to explore
She binds me down there
down below
Until I breathe no more

A Mermaid by John William Waterhouse

April is Poety Month

2010-04-01T19:35:00.007-05:00

In honor of this, I'm going to write an erotic-ish poem today.
disclaimer: I am not a poet, though I will write a bit of (bad) poetry at times. I also tend to be silly or obscure or both as my poetry writing favs include: Maggie Estep, Allen Ginsberg, Ogden Nash, Dorothy Parker, Edgar Allen Poe, Shel Silverstein, Oscar Wilde

Here goes...
(with a picture!)

52 Pick Up

Oh my!
How clumsy am I!
Let me stand over here
and watch you
pick
each
one
up

If you haven't yet....

2010-03-31T21:45:00.003-05:00

If you haven't yet checked out Fetlife, please do! No, they're not paying me, I just love the idea of being able to connect to kinksters across the universe (or at least this planet) so easily! The groups are interesting and I've been connecting with new people in the scene. Plus it's a great place to find out when events are taking place near you! And someday, when I get less hermity, I'll take advantage of that. ;)

Domestic Servitude OR How I learned to stop worrying and love my servant

2010-03-27T17:54:00.009-05:00

Yesterday, Crumpet wrote on my Fetlife wall: "i do like being your little domestic servant. perhaps one of these days i ought to sleep in a cage." To which I replied, "That can be arranged!"

Right now, as I type this, he's in my kitchen finishing up the dishes. He's already started my laundry and is working towards finishing the "Task List" I made for him. The last task on the list is to bring up the cage from the basement. That's right folks, we just so happen to have a large dog crate in the basement that will perfectly fit my very own Crumpet! Or, rather, my Crumpet will fit in it. ;)

Before he gets to the part where he brings his cage up out of the basement, I have a few things on the list that may drive him to brink of madness! Okay, fine... that might be a bit of an exaggeration. But I am making him clean my room. This is a task I LOATH. (As evidence by my not ever finishing it for... gah, several years!) It was never something I planned to push off onto someone else. I mean, hell, it's my mess, I should have to deal with it. But I don't. I have no problem cleaning any other part of the house, but my room.... blargh! I am particularly bad about putting clothes away. They usually end up sitting, unfolded in the laundry baskets until I dump them into a pile & shove them off to the side 'cause I need the basket to take more clothes to the wash. I really should get rid of some clothes, but I can find a use for most if not all my garments. And it's not like I'm dirty... I'm just messy! And it's not like I'm hurting anyone, it's in my room and nobody lives there but me. If you don't like it, don't visit! (Hmmmm... I'll stop this right now as I'm sounding quite defensive.)

Basically, it's things that I just can't be bothered with. I'd much rather be reading a book or writing one or walking the dog or playing with the cats or cuddling my guinea pig or dancing or swimming or camping or cleaning any other room in the house or watching a movie or trolling the internet or having sex or bathing or baking or brushing my teeth!!!

But now there's Crumpet in his short black skirt, tiny white frilly apron, fishnet socks and bells to do this for me. And he says he likes being my domestic servant. What an evil mistress I would be if I were to take that from him! I shall let him service me.

Blurry Crumpet (from my crappy camera phone)
in his Maid Uniform, with bells!
(He plans to send me a better pic)

Play Party!

2010-03-23T08:22:00.004-05:00

On Saturday night, Sir, Crumpet and I went to a play party hosted by the one and only Delectable Goddess! It was deliciously fun!

The theme was to dress up like a deity. Sir went as Hades, the Greek god of death and the Underworld. I went as Nephthys, the Egyptian goddess who protects the dead. Crumpet was unsure of who he should go as. He was wearing very springy pink skirt with matching flowers, white shirt & shoes which contrasted beautifully with my flowing black & silvery dress and Sir's black skirt, corset & other layers. At first we tried to convince him to be Persephone so Hades could rape him later (a total gender switch) but he eventually decided to go as Eostre, Anglo-Saxon goddess of Spring. It pleased me that we were representing an array of pantheons. I gave him a Cadbury creme egg to carry.

We arrived late & the party had already begun. The party, but not the play. People were grouped in different rooms, talking. It always strikes me as funny that no matter the purpose of the party, there is always a period of polite conversation before things truly get into full swing. (I'm not on any high-horse 'cause I do the same damn thing.) Most of the party goers had not dressed up. Our Delectable Goddess had. She sparkled and shined with an ornate Egyptian looking collar/necklace. The black sheer dress she wore hid nothing yet covered everything. She was exquisite!

The play part of the party began with a present... a seemingly innocent gesture from Sissybitch. He gave Delectable Goddess a poorly wrapped box. Inside the box was a pair of gloves. HER gloves! Gloves she had lost a few months ago. Gloves she had torn her place apart in trying to find. Gloves she had spent hard earned money on to replace. Gloves that were somewhat useless coming to her on the cusp of Spring!

This would not go unpunished.

The Spank-Master had brought along this lovely spanking bench made by the KinkyContractor himself:

The Delectable Goddess and Sissybitch's WickedMistress had him lay naked on the bench face down with his ass prominently displayed. Sir, Crumpet and I positioned ourselves in the kitchen which had an opening above the sink to the next room where the bench was. The view was perfect... except for dishes that were drying on the sill. (I had Crumpet put them and all the other dishes away.)

At one point, Sissybitch was being asked if he really felt sorry for what he did. He said yes, with a smirk. Since his face was towards us and the ladies doling out his punishment could not see him, I felt it was my duty to tell them. He then STUCK HIS TONGUE OUT AT ME! The nerve! The audacity! I, of course, told them that too. They offered me the opportunity to give him a few swats. I was definitely tempted but so steeped in voyeur mode that I declined. (Next time, ladies. I promise!)

Watching them work together was beautiful! One would be lightly cropping his ass and balls while the other smacked his face and called him humiliating things. He was asked, "What are you?" To which he replied, "...a slut! ...a naughty boy! ...a little piggy! *grunt, grunt* ...a teapot!" This brought forth giggles and the question, "where's your handle?" And he sung, "MY DICK IS MY HANDLE!" at the top of his lungs. I missed where his spout was. Sir added a few kinky-altered lyrics that made everyone snicker. Unfortunately, she was facing away from me so I didn't catch them. (Perhaps I'll get her to tell them to me so I can share them with you, dear readers.)

In the other room, a different sort of play took place. The CruelCutter had setup a massage table in the living room with all of his equipment. Using a scalpel, he cut an opening into the Delectable Goddess's arm that he then sutured. It bled pretty. (I like blood!) He sterilized everything, discussing his techniques with Sir who's a tattoo artist & piercer by trade, then got ready for his next victim, errr... yeah, victim! Before he needled pretty designs into WickedMistress's arm, he asked her if she wanted him to be nice or mean. She said, "start nice then get mean." He did this beautifully! The needles were inserted precisely but tenderly. (Well, as tender as you can get with needles.) He then wiggled them, causing her to bleed a bit, followed by a punch and a smack resulting in much more blood! She swooned and laughed her way through it all.

There were other fun happenings, but I shall end this here and now as other writing is taking my attention. Suffice is to say, I had lots of fun!!

Bad Date

2010-03-04T08:00:00.006-06:00

Back when I was living in Houston, still a virgin and not dating much, Walter and I met at a New Years Eve party. It was one of the first times I got drunk (I lived a very sheltered childhood) so when he called to ask me out, I had no recollection of him. He mentioned that he got my number from my friend who hosted the party. So I politely asked for his number and said I would call him back.

I called my friend –
Me: Who is this guy, Walter?
Her: His family is a friend of my family; I’ve known him for years. You don’t mind that I gave him your number, do you?
Me: No… I just don’t remember him.
Her: REALLY?? You two talked for hours in the living room, the family room, on the stairs, the kitchen and then outside. He said y’all had some real chemistry.<
Me: Huh…
Her: You seriously don’t remember him? Damn! You were drunk!
Me: *snicker* Well, is he nice? I mean… can I trust him? He wants to take me on a date.
Her: He’s totally nice and he wouldn’t hurt anything. What’ve you got to lose? Take a chance!
Me: What does he look like?
Her: You really were drunk.
Me: Yeah. What does he look like?
Her: Dark brown hair, brown eyes, pale skin, crooked teeth... I donno, like a guy.
Me: *eye roll* Okay… well as long as you say he’s okay, I guess I’ll give it a go.

He arrived at my house with flowers. I don’t like cut flowers, but it was sweet and he didn’t know. He smelled of very strong chemically cologne and was really awkward talking to me at the door. But I thought, hey, I'll still have fun, right?

He decided that for our first date (his words), he’d take me to his favorite restaurant. It was an hour away. It was an uncomfortable, long drive and I insisted rolling my window half way down so I could breath past his cologne even though it was quite chilly. I tried to start a conversation several times, but all his answers were monosyllabic. His hands were tight knuckled around the steering wheel and he never once looked over at me, keeping his focus on the road. It was kinda sweet that he was so anxious. I was a pretty awkward and nerdy girl myself so I found it flattering that I could make someone so nervous. (Even still, I kept wishing I’d brought a book.)

The restaurant was a seafood joint in Galveston. At that time, I hated seafood. The place was loud, our table was in the middle of the room where there was no chance of talking (which may not have been a bad thing) and it was big enough to sit a party of ten. After a mostly silent ride, he suddenly became talkative and shouted stories about the other times he'd been to the restaurant and how his parents have a second house in Galveston that he's been known to crash at and the crazy parties he and his friends have thrown over the din. He spoke with his mouth full and he chewed with his mouth open. He also did the heinous thing of ordering for me. The only thing I would eat, was the salad. He shouted, really loud, "You on a diet?" Irritated as hell, I got up to go to the bathroom and, as I walked past his seat, I whispered, "I don't like seafood." When I came back to the table, he had his food in a doggy bag and had paid the bill.

I thought, "good, now he'll drive me home."

Yeah... not so much. He had planned the evening and nothing, not even my irritation and discomfort, was going to disrupt his plan. He drove me to the beach. In his trunk was a case of wine-coolers, a blanket and, when he shook out the blanket, a box of condoms flew out and hit my foot. He grabbed them, tossed them quickly back into the truck and slammed it shut. (I think he thought I might not have noticed what they were since it was dark.) He offered me a wine-cooler and said, "I thought we could sit out and watch the stars.

Without a word, I walked to the passengers side, got in the car and strapped on my seatbelt. I refused to get out and insisted he drive me home.

Now, whenever I have a bad date, I always think, "at least it's not a Walter."

Addendum: When I was talking to my "friend" about it, she confessed that she was glad that his attention had shifted to me because he had been stalking her since elementary school. She then said some other things that shook my memory about the party. The reason we went from room to room then outside was because he would not stop following me. I then recalled that at the party we didn't talk much, he just sat there staring at me.
(Huh, if only I knew then what I know now, I could've had my first slave boy!)

An exerpt from Ronin

2010-02-26T08:14:00.003-06:00

I'm revising a story I wrote a few years ago about an event that happened a few years before that. I had a one night stand with Ronin, an Irish Man I never saw. So here's a bit of it, enjoy!

He lays back down on the blanket, fully exposed to the dark. He shudders as my short but sharp fingernails brush lightly over his soft skin. A gentle touch on his shoulder and he is a leaf. My fingers whisper across his neck, up his rounded jaw and explore the slightly sweaty skin of his face as if I were blind. His cheeks are hollows with pronounced bones. His brow is strong and bushy and his eyes wide set. The ears are delicate and small while the hair is wiry and thick. He moans when I pull at it. I travel my fingers to the top of his head, then cascade them down a sloping nose to trace wide, full lips. When his lips close on my index finger, I remove my hand. One breath, two, my fingers return, but he allows them to glide along his lips, pull them apart and slide over his crooked but well tended teeth. My other hand begins to roam down his chest with the lightest brush of nails. I lean over him, my face inches from his. “Cinnamon,” he sighs. I wonder if he actually spoke or if I imagined it as once again a licorice scent caresses my nostrils. I swing a leg over to straddle him. He quakes as the soft fabric of my dress brushes over his chest. I exhale cool air along his skin. I bury my hands in the jungle of his twisted hair. I sigh and run a moist tongue along the side of his face.

“You taste like a garden of herbs,” my voice is husky, thick with the surprise of my discovery. “Rosemary, garlic, sage and a hint of mint.” I smile against his skin. Planting a kiss on his cheek, then sucking at his lips as my hands massage his scalp. I feel him resisting the urge to grab me and pull me into a kiss. I grin as I press my lips lightly against his.

“Good boy,” I whisper into his mouth, causing his lips to tremble. As my lips embrace his, I slide my tongue into his mouth. I suck the air from him as I explore the soft meaty texture of him. His mouth tastes only faintly of whiskey but more strongly of mint and, there’s that tint of licorice. Suddenly overwhelmed, he drives his tongue into my mouth. I bite it, causing his eyes to pop open. “Uh-uh-uh-uh. Bad boy.”

“But...” he mutters, trying to prop himself up to his elbows.

My hand is to his mouth and I lean into his chest. “No buts about it. Either I explore you without interruption, or you leave. Your choice.”

“Remember,” I speak with lips inches from his right ear, “you agreed to my terms.” I gently graze teeth over his lobe as I add, “if you were going to negotiate, you should have done so before we began. Now, it’s too late.” I pull my head away and move off him. I’m inches from him, but no longer touching. I can feel he wants to say something, but instead, he becomes a granite statue. “Better,” I murmur as my hands stroke his face. With my cheek against his hair, I breathe in and sigh. “You smell of jasmine.” I lean into him, my lips press against his throat as I lightly tongue the hardness of his larynx. I lick my way around his neck and suck at the base by the delicate collarbone. I pull the fragile flesh between my teeth and bite. He gasps, but lays still. Leaving a ring of small wet bites along the collarbone, I glide down his chest with gentle kisses all over the skin, pausing only to graze teeth across each nipple sending chills through his body.

I walk my hands over his belly, and he giggles. “Ticklish?” I ask, my grin is in the word as I play with his lack of control for a bit. I can feel he’s right on the verge of calling it quits, when I stop tickling. I suck my finger and slide a path through the thin trail of hair from his belly button to his cock. A series of fondling strokes followed by wet caresses from my mouth causes him to inhale the room as his organ rises. He is thick and longer than I can hold in my mouth. I use one hand to stroke the base of the shaft as my other hand massages his balls and inner thighs. A strange grazing sound reaches my ears. It takes me a moment to realize that it’s his fingernails clawing into the blanket. I gently touch one of the hands and he relaxes. But, as his body teeters on the brink, the clawing starts again.

I stop just short of causing him to explode. My hands slide down over his thighs, caress each of his knobby knees, nuzzle his calves and massage his feet. I feel him tense as I reach his feet, but as I rub them, he relaxes. I work my way back up his body to take his mouth into mine as I lower my hips and grind him through my dress.

Sliding off him, I punch the trembling boy’s shoulder with the heel of my hand. “Your turn.”

Excuse me.... I must go masturbate

2010-02-23T14:32:00.002-06:00

Sometimes, life gets overwhelming. Too much going on in my head, too much going on around me, too much I can't change, too much change lurking in the shadows. The worst is when my thoughts are a whirlwind and I cannot make sense of any of it. But if I take a long hot bath then masturbate and catch a quick nap, not necessarily in that order, I am soothed and distracted enough for my thoughts to settle and things once again start to make sense.

I was thinking how much easier life would be if I could just pop out of the hectic every day to do just that. It works really well on days I'm not working at my job and merely working on my writing or some other at home type thing on my days off. I just don't think it would go over all that well at work. "Excuse me, I must go masturbate before we continue this conversation." I'm guessing that no amount of assurance that I will come back renewed & better able to deal with the BS will make up for the inappropriateness. Oh well.... such is life. ;)

Writing...

2010-02-22T23:04:00.003-06:00

Today the Gypsy & I wrote. It was a good day for it - gloomy, overcast & snowy. I worked on Red, but don't have anything to post here... though I love it!!! I may be revamping the entire beginning, though I'm glad I wrote what I did here since it gave me a springboard for the rest of what I have written. I want to finish it and polish it up and offer it up to publishing world 'cause I feel that it will be that good of a story. But it's still new and shiny... we'll see where it is when the NSE* wears off.

*like poly NRE (new relationship energy)
NSE - new story energy ;)

Annoyed at myself rant

2010-02-19T22:05:00.003-06:00

Yesterday I didn't post. I did do some writing, but it wasn't erotic, so no posty-posty. I promised myself to write today. During the day, at work, I came up with the best idea of what I would write about. I planned to jot it down... as soon as I had a moment. Only I never did have a moment. And the day was migraneous, causing my head not to be a reliable place for storing ideas. So nothing was jotted and, no matter how much I try to jog my memory, it won't come back. (Incidentally, I've always found the phrase "jog my memory" to be rather odd. Why not jolt or something like that?) So once again, today has no post. Or, rather, since this kinda qualifies as a post, no post of substance.

Cast of characters

2010-02-17T19:59:00.002-06:00

SO I've been writing in this blog for just over two years now and a friend pointed out that I've never done a list of the people in my life. As I use aliases for everyone, this might be a worthwhile venture. (Or it might just be confusing... we'll see!!) One thing I'm not doing is listing EVERYONE I've ever written about. This is merely the cast of characters currently in my life.

Mistress Ninian - Why that's me, of course!
little one - my sub side
Ms. Mafia - my lascivious school teacher persona

Artist - One of my dearest & oldest friends. She is my hetero-lifemate for whom I'd do just about anything.
Sir - Same woman, but as the dom to me as 'little one'. This is a rather new development.

Crumpet - my boyfriend
Chlymedia - Crumpet's naughty teenage persona
Kim - Crumpet's obedient maid persona

Firebird / Gypsy - my longtime friend who's an amazing writer & actress (I'm not quite sure how she ended up with two names, but it's fitting for her.)

Freak Family - A group of friends, including the Artist, Plus, his wife, her boyfriend, his wife and me, who is working towards building a close knit community.

Seamstress - Crumpet's wife

Plus - the Artist's boyfriend

FryGuy - a friend I met camping who lives in Ohio & one of the folks in charge of LaGarou's CampOUT

Lady Hawk - another writerly friend

Wolf - a writerly friend I had a bit of a fling with a while ago

Feel free to comment if there is someone else you want to know more about or if there is someone I neglected to mention.

Thanks!
Ninian

Chlymedia & her pops - part 2 (fiction)

2010-02-16T19:19:00.006-06:00

Disclaimer: Just to be clear, this is a work of FICTION - strictly fantasy role-play between un-related, consenting adults.
That said, enjoy!

Chlamydia chewed her bottom lip as she studied the Mafia. There were somethings that even her friends didn't know and she felt a bizarre urge to confess them all to this power suit woman. For gods sake, the woman had her long black hair neatly gathered in a tight bun! You don't get any more uptight than that. Still, Chlamydia found the older woman to be rather attractive. But if her friends heard about her attraction to a woman, especially a school counselor, she'd never hear the end of it.

She swiveled in her chair again and told her story to the ceiling. "Pops keeps to his Den when he wants to be alone. It's his 'no kid' zone. He would also like to keep mom out of there, but since the house was ours before he moved in, he wouldn't dare tell her that. Anyhow, that's where the couch is. He had a really old school radio in there and he kept it on easy listening jazz while he napped. Usually, this meant that I could do whatever I wanted as long as I was home about 8 pm when he'd cook up something for us to eat.

"When Gothica, Ruby and the Arabian arrived, we conspired in my room. We'd already planned what we were going to do during the week so we were really just making sure we had all the supplies. Gothica brought Duct tape and a grocery bag of something she said was a surprise that we may or may not need, Ruby had several scarves and ribbons and a pair of her dad the cop's handcuffs and the Arabian had managed to sneak out one of his mom's sample bags. She did home sex toy parties and she always had samples stashed around the house. Since I was providing the place, the victim and the plan, I didn't have to bring anything.

"The main idea was to get pops while he was still sleeping. As quietly as we could, we set everything up in the den. Since he was laying on his side facing the room with one arm hanging on the ground and the other across his chest, we were going to have to start by tying his hands in front of him.

"I didn't want him to know what was going on, so I positioned everyone. Ruby was by his head with one of her scarves ready to cover his eyes as soon as he started waking up. The Arabian stood at the end of the couch prepared to pounce on pop's legs if he tried to get a way. Gothica had another long scarf looped in a noose that she slipped around the wrist of the hand that was dragging on the ground. She carefully tied it off and pulled that hand up to wind the rest of the scarf around the other wrist. She had it completely tied off before pops even stirred. Ruby gently lifted his head for the scarf she was blindfolding him with. He inhaled deeply, causing us to freeze, then he snored. We snickered as Ruby tightened the blindfold."

"He didn't wake up at all?" Ms. Mafia looked doubtful.

"Nah. My pops usually slept pretty soundly. In fact, the Arabian and I were able to get him up and sit him in a chair before he started waking up. We even got his feet tied to the front legs of the chair before he really woke up. By then, it was too late. There was no way he was going to escape what we had planned for him."

"What was that?"

"Don't you want to hear the whole story?"

The Mafia sighed. "Yes... proceed."

"For about the first half hour, we would poke at him and giggle while he asked over and over again, 'what the hell is going on?' and, 'who are you people?'

Once he stopped asking, Ruby unbuttoned his shirt and ran her hand in his chest hair. She'd grab handfuls and pull saying, 'my, what thick hair you have.'

Oh! That's one of the things we decided. I wasn't allowed to talk. I mean, I could talk to them, but not loud enough for him to hear 'cause he might recognize my voice."

"You were afraid of getting in trouble?"

"Well yeah. We'd have to let him go eventually. And while I'm pretty sure I could control him, my mom's a whole different story."

(to be continued...)

Red - beginning (fiction)

2010-02-15T11:42:00.008-06:00

They sat across from each other at the little cottage table with heads low as they spoke softly. Three tealight candles flickered in the blue glass bowl, casting odd shadows on the two women's faces. They were mirrored reflections of each other, though one had golden hair and the other's hair was gray. But the hair was the only give away to their ages. In front of the blond was a large book opened to the page she was reading.

"It says here that we should find the Sire and..." She trailed off, reading to herself.

"And...?" The gray haired woman cocked an eyebrow.

The younger woman looked up. "Grandma, it says we have to kill him."

The older lady blinked. "But he's already dead."

"I know. It's just that he was supposed to be killed in a certain way and since we can't kill him again, we're stuck." She pursed her lips together.

"No!" The grandmother shouted, slamming a fist on the table. The bowl of candles shook but stayed lit. "There has to be another way."

"There is... ONE other way." The blond sighed and gently closed the book.

After a moment, the older woman snorted and asked, "well? What can we do?"

The younger woman leaned her chin into her cupped hands, placing her elbows firmly on the table. Her emerald eyes stared at her grandmother for several minutes unblinking. "We have to find HIS sire and seduce HIM. Then we both have to... take advantage of him."

"You mean we have to fuck the head werewolf?"

Covering her face, the younger woman nodded and spoke in a muffled voice. "Yes, grandmother. That's exactly what I mean."

Exerpt #2 from my novel in progress "Sugar Daddy" (fiction)

2010-02-14T20:01:00.002-06:00

This is a scene between Margaret, the gagged maid, and Charlie.

Once we were in my bedroom, Margaret’s grip on my wrist tightened as she dragged me to the foot of the bed. She sat down, pulled me over her knee and flipped my nightgown up over my head in one smooth move. My pink panties with bows all over them were quickly around my knees and she began smacking each cheek with such force I knew I was going to bruise. I squirmed and tried to put my hand in her way to stop her from spanking so hard. She merely grabbed my hand and pulled it up to the middle of my back.

“Ow! That hurts!”

“It’s supposed to.” Her voice was gentle but deep. I realized she wasn’t gagged. I twisted my head to look up at her unfettered mouth. As if reading my mind, she commented to the tempo of her hits. “I am only required to be gagged in His presence.”

I managed to squirm away a few times, but she’d just pull me back and start all over again. After what seemed like a rhythmic eternity of flesh smacking flesh until I ached all over and begged and pleaded with her to stop with my legs kicking the air, she stopped.

Or rather paused.

My left arm was trapped between our bodies and my right arm was numb from being held at such a sharp angle. She stood me up and I sighed with relief thinking we were done. But then she turned me and with the ribbon from her hair, she tied my wrists together behind my back. Once again, she positioned me onto her lap in such a way that my ass was pointing up to the sky. Only this time, she put one leg over my legs, trapping me next to her crotch. I was surprised to feel something pressing against my hip, but before I could say anything, the beatings began again… with a large wooden spoon she’d pulled out of her apron pocket.

“Ow! No! Stop! Please!” I could feel bruises blossoming on top of each other.

“No stop please? Well, if you insist. I will not stop… yet.”

The hits came faster and harder until I was crying. I heard a crack then felt a sharp pain. Margaret dropped me off her lap.

“Oh crap. Are you okay?”

I looked up at her from the floor and saw that the spoon was broken. Where the handle met the ladle, it had cracked and some of the wood had splintered out. There was a red smear on the wood. I blinked, realizing it was my blood.

Margaret had me roll over onto my belly and inspected my ass. “Oh sweety! It looks like you got a splinter. Let’s get you into the shower and I’ll get the tweezers.” As we went into the bathroom, she untied me, taking off my panties and my gown leaving it in a trail behind us. She had me lean over the edge of the bathtub so that she could remove the splinter.

“Ouch!”

“Hold still or I’ll never get it out.”

“I’m gonna tell,” I threatened through gritted teeth. She held the tweezers in front of my face with the offending piece of wood. I stood up straight rubbing my ass.

“There. You’re such a brat! I’m so glad He said I could do what I wanted with you.” She smiled wickedly then began removing her uniform.

I hopped into the tub, my eyes wide. “What’re you doing?”

She folded the dress and apron neatly then placed them on the back of the toilet. Sitting down to remove her shoes and stockings, she raised an eyebrow. “If I’m giving you a shower, I’m climbing in with you and I am not about to get my uniform wet.” She had small pert breasts that I couldn’t stop looking at. That is, until her erect penis popped out of her panties.

“You… what… I thought…” My mouth hung open from the unfinished thoughts.

Her wicked smile pulled high and tight as her voice fell a couple of octaves. “Little girl, how could you not have known? It was pressing up against you when I was spanking you.”

“But I… I didn’t know…”

“Do you take everything at face value?” She crossed her arms over her chest as her shoulders slumped. She sighed. “Quit staring. We’ve got to get you cleaned up for the Master.”

I licked my lips. “I’m sorry if I’m staring. It’s just, you’re so beautiful.” I sighed. “You’re a bi-girl’s dream… or, at least, this bi-girl’s dream.” I smiled.

She straightened, tilting her head and narrowed her eyes as she studied me. “You’re kidding, right?” Her hazel eyes softened. “You’re not, are you?”

I shook my head and crooked my finger for her to join me in the shower. She stepped in hesitantly. I wrapped my fingers around her engorged cock and pulled her to me. I stood on tiptoes to reach her lips; she tasted like bubblegum.

We lathered each other, paying particular attention to each other’s breast and nipples, her cock and balls and my clit. We both came in each other’s hands, rinsing off and sharing a secret smile.

Not yet...

2010-02-13T22:43:00.003-06:00

Okay, so I was going to post more on the Chlamydia story, which I have been working on and will have something to post by Tue at the latest, but it's in an awkward place. If I cut it off where there's a natural break, it would be barely a paragraph long & if I waited to post until I hit the next break, I wouldn't be done before I need to go to bed. (If only I didn't work tomorrow!) So instead of posting something tasty, I'm going post this then go work on the story. Tomorrow, I plan to post a bit from my novel, Sugar Daddy, as I have been working on it too. So enough writing about writing, I'm gonna go write! ;)

How are you in bed?

2010-02-12T23:20:00.003-06:00

When sleeping, are you happiest alone or would you rather be cuddling? Do you steal covers or try to take over the entire bed? Do you snore or have issues with snoring? Do you sleep on a side, your back or belly? Tell me all your bedtime secrets! ;)

Story start, Chlymedia & her pops - part 1 (fiction)

2010-02-11T22:58:00.007-06:00

It's been a while since I've posted any fiction on here, so here's something I've just started. It doesn't have a title yet, but it's about Chlamydia and her evil ways. Once again, this is FICTION. ;)

Chlamydia spun in the swivel chair, chewing on the thin red coffee straw. She leaned her head way back and crossed her eyes at the ceiling. Who has a last name of Mafia? It sounded as fake as Chlamydia but not as cool. She didn't want to discuss anything with this dyke counselor. She particularly didn't want to discuss her sexual awakening... or was it awakenings? She stopped spinning and chewing and wondered what the woman would say to her asking if there could be multiple awakenings. Stretching her arms up high, she dropped the straw behind her head, cracked her knuckles, sighed and sat forward. Ms. Mafia hadn't moved a muscle from her good posture, fingers laced as if to pray position behind her desk. Chlamydia snorted. It was painfully clear that the Mafia could sit in silence much better than she could. She spun once more, to see the clock that was hanging over the doorway. She'd only been there for 15 minutes. If she was lucky, she'd only have 45 more minutes. The lucky part being, if the Mafia didn't decide to keep her through her next class like she did last time. She sighed again. Well, if she was going to be stuck here anyway she might as well give the Mafia something juicy to gnaw on.

"At my fifteenth birthday party, mom got drunk. Nothing new, it's what she always does. It wouldn't have bothered me in the least except she seduced the guy I was after ala Mrs. Robinson. I always hated that movie! It was kind of sad and pathetic really, but Leo, that's the stupid guy's name, was totally into it. I mean, I get that my mom's hot. I was used to the guys calling her the Milfiest MILF that ever there was. But I never expected her to be such a cougar or to disregard my feelings entirely! But whatever. I decided to get even." She paused.

Ms. Mafia tilted her head waiting for Chlamydia to finish. After about a minute, she asked, "how?"

Chlamydia grinned. "Okay, you might think this is really wrong, but whatever. I kinda-- well, me and my friends, we abducted my pops."

"Your what?"

"My dad. Well, sorta my dad. I mean, he was and had been since I was seven. But he's not my biological father. Not that it would make any difference to me." She paused and thought about that for a second. Would it? She never knew her biological father, but the incest taboo felt strong even with her step-dad. She knew she was crossing a very fine line. "Anyhow, pops was cute. He and mom were on the outs and, along with getting back at mom, I didn't want him to leave." This also made her pause. She had never admitted that out loud and hated to now. She shook her head, causing her blue hair to fall in her face. "It was me and three other friends." She peeked at the Mafia through the veil of hair.

Ms. Mafia was leaning forward, completely engrossed in the story. "Well, go on."

Okay, so the weekend after my party and after a long week of mom and pops fighting 'cause he found a condom wrapper in their bed that wasn't his and mom wouldn't come clean, mom was out of town for business. So I had Gothica, Ruby and Arabian come over."

Ms. Mafia cocked an eyebrow. Not their real names, I take it."

"Well duh. Just 'cause I'm going to a different school doesn't mean we don't hang out and they'd kill me if my telling you about this got them in trouble."

Ms. Mafia nodded.

"Anyhow." She sighed, wondering how much trouble she was going to get into for confessing all of this. She didn't really care, but she kinda did. She eyed the Mafia and decided that the risk was worth it. "Since pops worked so late at night, he did a lot of sleeping during the day and even during the weekend he'd mostly sleep days as that was his cycle. So I knew he'd be crashed out on the couch for several hours while I got the crew ready in my room."

And that's what I've got so far. More to come!

Odd Limits

2010-02-10T08:45:00.006-06:00

The other day, Sir & I were talking. She knows I don't like balloons. I'm particularly biased against those rubbery party balloons. I hate the way they sound when being rubbed, the feel of them against my skin, the sounds they make when they pop... all these things set my teeth on edge. She teased and said that since I'm such a masochist & have a way with twisting things into being rewards instead of punishments, that she might have to creatively torture me. Something like rubbing my entire body with balloons then popping them on my flesh would TRULY punish me. I laughed... half hearted.... cringing inside at the thought. Then I said, "No." Balloons are definitely a hard limit for me.

This got me to thinking.... What other odd limits do I have?
I have some hard limits that are based in being safe (always use condoms or some form of protection, do not play with scat or blood... though blood intrigues me & if I was with someone I trusted who was into blood play too, that limit might be lifted), sane & consensual (no animals, children or corpses). I've discovered that I have a few hard (& not so hard) odd limits that are based on personal preference.

balloons - yeah, no. (It's not a clown thing, though. I'm okay with clowns & even more so with jesters.)
outside in winter - I don't like the cold &, unlike Crumpet, I don't get turned on when my feet are frozen.
verbal humiliation - it just doesn't do it for me. I tend to sneer at anyone trying to verbally humiliate me & feel just plain rude when I'm humiliating someone else. (Now this does not include teasing. I LOVE teasing!)
extended periods of time on my knees - I have bad knees.
concerts - I HATE large crowds. I'm a bit agora-homicidal.

I'm sure there are a few more, but I must get ready for Freak Family Dinner. Now I'm curious... what are YOUR odd limits?

Dear Readers,

2010-02-09T09:58:00.005-06:00

The other day, Sir asked me when I was posting next.
I replied, "I just posted. Did you not see the one on cunnilingus?"
To this she rolled her eyes and moaned, "That was like yesterday. I want MORE!!!"
To which I replied with quivering lip, "Bu-but*, I'm trying to post twice a week and I'm doing okay with that so far... I think."
She snorted and walked away.

*fine, there was no stuttering
nor was my lip quivering.
I just thought it'd be more
dramatic that way.

This got me to thinking. Part of my hesitancy to post every day stems from the fact that I fear my posts will lack in substance. However, I've noticed that even when I don't post every day, I still have posts that are... well, flaccid. Does this mean I shouldn't post unless I'm wet when I read my own words? No. I'd have a lot less entries if that were the case. Everything here does not have to be polished & pretty, nor does it have to be pussy dripping or boner making... that's for paid publications. So, dear readers, I am challenging myself to offer up my words daily. *eek!*

I am quite certain Sir will be more than happy and exceedingly able to hold me to my challenge as she is one of the fastest readers I know. Hmmmmm... now I'm wondering what punishment she will dole out if I do not meet this goal. I just hope it has nothing to do with balloons. *shudder* (OOOOOhhhh! I think I've got tomorrow's topic!) :D

In other news, I'm scouring Fetlife to find places to post my writing and promote my blog. I'm also working towards getting the blog organized in such a way that anyone could easily find entries by topic. Any suggestions are most appreciated!

And publications... if you have any leads on erotic publications, I would be as delighted as a toe curling orgasm if you shared them with me.

Thank you,
Ninian

Cunnilingus a la Crumpet

2010-02-04T04:06:00.006-06:00

Crumpet expressed his desire & delight in Cunnilingus a while back. He wrote: "There is something very submissive and intimate about it. I am reminded of the Empress Wu, who according to legend, insisted that government officials, and dignitaries pay homage to her by performing cunnilingus upon her. I like paying homage to you - I must do it more often."

He has been paying homage on a somewhat regular basis and damn is he getting good! Not that he wasn't before, just that his good gets better each time. (I don't know how that's possible, I just know that it's true.) Usually, after I've cum several times and his tongue is exhausted, we slap a condom on him and I ride him until I cum one (or two or three) more time(s). Because he's expressed his delight in being used and in orgasm denial, I rarely allow him to get off as well.

Which leads me to an interesting observation. If I were in a monogamous D/s relationship with him, that "orgasm denial" would extend to his time away from me. I would forbid him the pleasures of masturbation until a specific time in the future. But we're poly and for me to forbid him anything when he's away from me, would be me putting restrictions on him with his relationship with his wife. I don't believe the Seamstress would go for that nor would I expect her to. The sex life they share has nothing to do with me or my relationship with Crumpet. While there is a part of me that would love to play the game of teasing him to the edge over and over and knowing he's getting no release until I say so, it's a very small part. I'm finding that I enjoy not allowing him an orgasm with me much more for the very fact that I know he does get off elsewhere. It also means that I can play this game indefinitely. *insert evil wicked grin here*

Something Special....

2010-01-26T13:53:00.003-06:00

Crumpet sent me an email:

Some poly couples like to keep something "special" aside, something they can do together. Perhaps this could be keeping their bedroom private and free from other lovers, reserving a special night for themselves, or a particular sexual activity they would only perform with each other. From the poly stand point, I never understood this exactly. Perhaps that is because Seamstress [his wife] and I already have a special connection - our kids - that will forever define our relationship with one another, and differ it from all future relationships.

But, if a married couple reserves something for themselves, are they then to reserve something else with all their other lovers? If not, then why not? Why should this relationship have something special and not the others? And if so, what happens if the husband wants to do that special thing that the wife reserved for her lover? Does she say no to her husband?

Personally, I've never been one to want to hide or keep for "only me" what I find special. I've always been more of a "Oh, how fun! Who else would like this?" kind of person. Even with friends... even with lovers. I guess that's why the poly lifestyle suits me so well. I love to share!

I do agree that if there's a dynamic where the married couple shares something special that is just for them, there should be an opportunity for the other poly relationships to have their very own "special" too. But does that mean that each relationship has to have that something special? What if it isn't important to the other relationship? And if it's the person in the married relationship that insists there must be a "special" between their mate & the mate's other partner, should they be allowed to dictate that?

I guess as far as our relationship goes, having Thai food once a month is a special thing between Crumpet & I. But I would not be upset if he were to share Thai food with someone else. I mean come on, it's yummy Thai food!
He did offer to reserve cunnilingus for just me and Seamstress. But because I adore having his face between my thighs & his tongue on my clit, I would not want to deprive another lover of his the same pleasure. That also goes for the D/s side of our relationship. As much as I love being his Mistress, I would not object to him having another D/s relationship. Of course, just as with any additional relationship, there would need to be discussion & figuring out how things work.

Two years ago today...

2010-01-22T06:26:00.002-06:00

...I began this blog. I had something I was going to write about this and about my writing goals, but then Rob Brezsny's horoscope gave me this...

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): This would be an excellent time for you to do a lot less of everything. You're entering a phase when you can actually help your long-term goals by being less ambitious. The point is not to give up your drive to succeed, but rather just put it to sleep for a while. Let it
recharge. Allow it to draw energy from the deeper psychic sources that it tends to get cut off from when it's enmeshed in the frenzy of the daily rhythm. Do you have the courage to not work so much, not try so hard, and not push so relentlessly?

So maybe next week. ;)

Review of Kink

2010-01-19T11:39:00.007-06:00

Saturday, the Gypsy invited Lady Hawk and myself out to see the play Kink by The Annoyance Theatre. It's been years, since the mid90s, that I've been to an Annoyance show and the last time I went, I had fun. So I thought, why not? And a show about Kink... sign me up!

An overview from The Annoyance Theatre:
"Sexual repression is alive and well in suburbia. Mom is a closet dominatrix and Dad is a closet cross-dresser. Their daughters, Julie and Tammy, are getting to that age where clothes may not be the only hang-ups in their closets. Homecoming is just around the corner - Julie's got a date and Tammy's one-woman tour-de-force is sure to a hit.
But between Mom's secret dominatrix meeting and dad's secret cross-dressing meeting, who will be there to take pictures?"

It was opening night & the house was packed. The audience was all on one level & the stage was merely a raised platform causing the sight lines to be somewhat obscured unless you were at the front or in an aisle seat... which I wasn't. But that's black box theater for ya and I'm willing to crane my neck for a good show. Unfortunately, this was not that show.

To give it props, it was a new musical written and performed by the ensemble. The performers slipped deftly in and out of each role they played, the singing was good and some of the songs were fun. There were also a few ear catching lines such as:
"This floor is naughty 'cause it's dirty!"
"This is as girly as I get, so suck my dick!"
"Make that dick a fountain, you gotta climb that BJ mountain."
"...don't be frigid, keep it rigid."
"I'm gonna get my Dominatrix on."
The one truthful moment was when Nancy and Greg (the dominatrix mother and the cross dressing father*) met for a blind rendezvous. Nancy, being new to the whole dominatrix thing, kept fumbling with the different BDSM toys that she obviously didn't know how to use and Greg kept asking if she thought he looked pretty.
But there were too many things that tarnished even that moment. The fact that Nancy didn't recognize her blindfolded husband felt false. Even when they're in women's clothes, I know my lovers. I had trouble accepting that just because Greg was a cross dresser he was into BDSM when there was no indication of that earlier in the play. The scene could possibly have been somewhat redeemed at the end, where they were yelling/singing about the dishonesty & deception, if they had just gone one step further and turned their animosity into fuel for their kinks. They didn't. Then later, there was a scene where Greg pretty much apologizes saying, "you don't need a safeword to know I love you." I didn't get why he was the only one apologizing since she deceived him too. Plus, while kink is not necessarily about love, using a safeword shows that you care enough to keep your partner safe.

*I didn't get why they didn't
have a man cast in this role.

Overall, the play lacked focus. There were many threads of plot that never seemed to come together. The teenage girls were superfluous to the theme of kink other than being uncomfortable onlookers. Neither of the girls' storylines went with the theme and Tammy, the youngest who was supposed to be 16, often spoke and acted like a toddler. The minor characters were unnecessary cardboard cutouts.
The two aerial view backdrops (one of a suburban neighborhood and the other of a football field) were busy and not connected with the action on the stage. I found them to be distracting, but symbolic of the disconnected and cluttered nature of the play.

From the standpoint of one who is in the kink lifestyle and is connected to the kink community, I found this play to be rather insolent. It was as if the most rudimentary research had been done. While I do not think anyone has to be kinky in order to write about kink, it is important to talk to at least a few people involved in the community and to do more research. For this play, it felt like they spent a couple of hours drunk on the Internet and decided to write a play.

Later, as the Gypsy, Lady Hawk & I sipped tea, ate stir-fry & discussed the play, we all agreed that The Annoyance Theatre succeeded in their mission to be annoying.

10 BDSM Questions…

2010-01-15T08:39:00.004-06:00

I got this from Beloved's Girl. I switched things up and tweaked it a bit. (I do like to tweak!) I also reduced it to 10 questions. There are 10 more which I may or may not get to.
I would be spankingly delighted if you were to answer these questions in my comments or on your own blog then link it in the comments!

1. My role:
I am a switch. For me this means that I’m open to the dynamic that’s felt between me and another person. What gets interesting is when I feel dominant towards someone who sees themself as a Dom-dom-dom or when I feel subby towards a sub. Unless they’re willing to try the other side, I will rarely venture into a relationship with that person since there would be an urge to either top from the bottom or bottom from the top.

2. Current BDSM relationship(s):
With Crumpet, I am Mistress.
With Sir, I am little one.

3. Favorite type of play:
Hard to say as I’m happy with all kinds of play and I tend to go with whatever my partner(s?) and I are in the mood and have the time/energy for.
When there is time/energy to spare, I do love a well plotted out scene with props, costumes & a fun setting. (Hey, are my theatrical roots showing?)

4. Most hated type of play:
Electrical play

5. Deepest kink fear:
Not being attuned to my partner

6. Most memorable public experience:
I’m not into much public play as more than a voyeur, but being in a place where getting caught is a factor, does turn me on.
Under the Seats details the time the mentor and I had sex in such a place.Also, having sex or playing out in the woods while camping is quite titillating.

7. Most memorable private experience:
Too many to choose from!
So I’m gonna go with the one that first popped into my head when I read the question… One morning after Crumpet and I had been too tired to mess around before going to sleep, I woke up really horny. I rolled over, woke the naked man and, after a few licks, nibbles and kisses, had him slip on a condom then straddled him, placing his hands to fondle my breasts. I rode him until I had cum several times, kissed him and went to go shower without giving him any relief and with the instruction that he was not to cum in my bed in my absence.

8. What gets you in the mood?
Right now I’d say filling out this survey is doing a pretty damn good job of it.

9. Scariest thing you’ve seen or heard in BDSM land:
Someone changing the rules in the middle of a scene and/or ignoring a safeword.

10. Favorite method of masturbation:
I don’t believe I have one favorite… I like manual, vibrators, dildos and rubbing. I did have one vibrator which sadly broke & is no longer made, that gave me the best masturbatory orgasms. It was called the fairy wand. (I don’t think that was the official name, but it looked like a glass dildo, had a fairy girl as the handle and a vibrator inside.)
The most often used method involves me rubbing my clit with a dildo or even a pillow positioned just so as I massage my nipples with lotion then pinch and pull them until I cum.

Sir

2010-01-11T08:25:00.007-06:00

For several years, the relationship dynamic between Sir & I has had a bit more than a tinge of service to it. She is a dominant woman and my switch flips subby for her. But since she's not into girls, we've never taken it there. We discussed it, and while we were both intrigued by the idea, she felt that it would be unfair to me and we shared the fear that it might hurt our friendship if it didn't work out. She also worried that I would become resentful. I knew I wouldn't since one of my kinks is denial & I know that Sir is more than a bit of a voyeur. If Sir were to get me all worked up, she could order me to fulfill my sexual desires with a lover. But for a long time, I had no lover or I had lovers who Sir did not fully approve of or trust. So we left the discussion to idle musings of "what if" and took it no further. I let Sir know that the decision was up to her and that if she were to change her mind, I'd be up for at least trying a BDSM / service relationship.

About a week ago, Sir brought it up again. At first I was baffled... pleased as a pinched nipple at the idea that she was actually considering it, but not quite understanding where the change had come from. I let her know again that YES, I am most definitely interested! We began the discussion of what all it would mean for us and for our relationship, and came up with titles. I will call her Sir and she calls me little one. It makes me giggle and blush and gives her a tingly surge.
There are some definite advantages to the arrangement.

For me: I tend to be rather unfocused. Just looking over my winding life path & it's easy to see how I often get distracted. Looking back at the jobs I've had: marketing assistant, dental receptionist, techie, wardrobe assistant, sound/light board operator, stage manager, server, barista, special orders clerk, trainer, stage director, set/wardrobe designer, assistant playwright, bookstore manager, teacher, event coordinator & animal care/counselor. My writing has been a through line in my life & work, but I've rarely gotten paid for it. I'm really good at getting things done & arranged when I'm accountable to others (part of the reason I began this blog almost 2 years ago) but am less focused when I'm doing things for myself. Sir will help me focus & prioritize things in my life. She will also hold my feet to the fire (or a whip to my backside) about getting my work published as it will be beneficial for us both in the long run.

For her: Sir likes to be in control & have things run her way. She's not a tyrant, but she is particular. I'm good at helping her get things done the way she wants and pointing out other ways things can be done in a more efficient manner without undermining her authority. (We've worked together before & found this to be true.) Sir is very focused and goal oriented. She likes to help others in that respect as well. But she sometimes overlooks the little things. Something I learned as a Stage Manager, was to anticipate the needs of the director & designers and to take care of the minute details they may not see because they are too focused on the bigger picture. I'm good at that & I enjoy doing it. She's also a bit of a sadist... which works well for me.

But what changed?
Crumpet.
Sir likes Crumpet & even trust him to an extent. Plus, on a whim, I had Crumpet instructed to obey whatever Sir told him to do as if it were me. He does so happily & it pleases Sir. Sir knows if she were to get me all heated up, she could rely on Crumpet to cool me down.

It will be an interesting experiment.

Kink Resolutions

2010-01-01T15:07:00.004-06:00

I rarely play the New Year Resolution game, but lately I've been feeling a need for a new start in several areas of my life, especially where my writing is concerned, so this year I'm going to play. Here are my 3 Kink Resolutions for 2010!!

1. Post to this blog at least twice a week!

2. Send out at least 1 piece of erotica for publication EVERY week.

3. Fix up the dungeon so that it can be used by Feb/March. (I am working towards having an entirely vegan dungeon, so this is a requirement for all the material I use.)

Have a Kinky New Year!!!

Holiday Writing Schedule

2009-12-17T22:52:00.002-06:00

Apparently, I have no holiday writing schedule. There have been thoughts of writing & even some off-line writing, but nary a blog. As things have been hectic in my life, I've decided to give myself a break & not require myself to blog again until 2010. (An unexpected blogging might happen, but I'm not planning on it.) Instead I say...

Happy Holidays to All!!

I should be writing...

2009-11-18T08:18:00.003-06:00

I'm leaving to visit my folks in Alabama on the 23rd and I'm not even at the halfway mark of my novel. I should be writing... I should be spending all my free time on it. But I know I'm over thinking it... exactly what you're NOT supposed to do for the NaNoWriMo. You're just supposed to WRITE!!!

I have to consider that fact that when I'm in Alabama, I will be with family at least most of the time if not all the time. And seriously... am I really going to sneak off to work on my erotic novel while visiting my ultra-conservative Southern Baptist parents?? Yeah, probably not so much.

Crumpet has his own blog!

2009-11-16T11:45:00.004-06:00

You should totally check out my subbie's blog:

Confessions of a Buttered Crumpet
http://crumpetconfessions.blogspot.com/

So buttery good!

For my birthday...

2009-11-09T23:20:00.003-06:00

When Crumpet came over for my birthday on Saturday, he left 2 notes on my night-stand. One was sealed & the other was not. I opened the unsealed one and it read:

Nov 7th 2009

Hello.

My name is Kim and I know you are a very good person in need of a hardworking housekeeper and maid. I am very good cleaner and I work for very little and do everything you say me to do. I not grumble or complain like other people and I know you will be very happy with me.

I do not make much sound and I not speak English too good but I can listen and understand a little and will know what to say and want me to do.

I had worked in other places and all the people were caring and lovely and I made their home look tidy and smell good and they said they were happy that I was their house maid and did not want me to go away.

I will work with a smile and be very happy no matter how much chores you give to me. So if you want me to be your maid you will not regret it.

Your servant.

Kim.

The sealed envelope had a reference for "Kim". Her previous employer treated her with a stern hand and would punish her severely for the slightest transgressions doing things like spanking, humiliating and embarrassing her. When there was no more use for her, she would be kept tightly bound and blindfolded in a closet. She would not speak unless spoken to, was not allowed to make eye contact, was only allowed to sit on the floor, had to wear her maid outfit at all times and she had to obey every command.

Tuesday night, I hope to have a trial run with Kim and see if she's everything she's been built up to. I already have the chores & punishments in mind. I'm so excited!!

An Excerpt from "Sugar Daddy" (Fiction)

2009-11-06T23:12:00.006-06:00

Daddy’s Games

“We are going to play a game,” he informs me of this as I sleepily yawned my way into the living room. “Or rather, a few games.”

Flopping down on the couch, I lazily petted the puppy-boy who had put his head in my lap. “What kind of games?”

There was a wicked gleam in Daddy's eyes. “Fun games. Do you want to play?”

I considered this. On the one hand, I trust him. I know my Daddy won’t do anything to truly endanger me. On the other hand, I know him. He’s a sadistic fuck who likes to torture and tease me. But I also know that if I refuse, I’ll get punished for that. While he believes in giving his subs choices, I also know he rigs the choices so he’s gonna get what he wants no matter what you choose. Take puppy-boy for example. He expressed a desire never to have children once and Daddy found a way to get him “neutered”. I wondered if that was what he was going to do to me. I wouldn’t mind it since I’m already in my thirties and I have no plans to ever have kids. But I hate surgery! Although, if Daddy made me do it, I wouldn’t hate it quite so much and…

“Charlie! Make up your mind. I have not got all day; Daddy has work to do. If you do not want to play, then you can go sit in your corner for the rest of the day.”

I bit my lower lip to hold back the tears. I hated sitting in the corner! “But Daddy, I don’t know what kind of game it is. What if I don’t like it?”

He tapped his knee and I went over and sat on his lap. Holding me to him he whispered, “If my little girl does not like it, we will only play it this once. Okay?” I nodded. He kissed the top of my head. “Besides, you should trust your Daddy.” I nodded again.

Gently setting me onto my feet, he led me by my hand into the kitchen where he had me sit at the breakfast table. There was a piece of paper in front of me, another one at his place and a box of crayons between us.

“Are we drawing?”

Daddy shook his head, then reconsidered and shrugged. “You can, but mostly we are writing.”

I drew a little smiley face at the top left corner of my sheet. “What’re we writing?”

“You are going to write down your safeword. I am going to write down a new safeword. Then we’re going to fold the papers as small as we can get them.”

I quickly wrote “banana-split” and began folding. I was done folding mine before Daddy was. “Do I win?”

He grinned and shook his head. “No sweetheart, this is just the set up for the games, not one of the games.” He held out his hand and I put my paper in it, curious about what he was going to do with it. He cupped his hands over each other with the two squares of paper in between and shook them. Then taking one in one fist and the other in the other, he held his knuckles out to me. “Pick one.”

I lightly tapped his left hand. He opened it to reveal my folded sheet. I took it. “Now what?” I was becoming a bit impatient. I wanted to know what this game was.

“Come with me.” He led me back into the living room where there was a fire in the hearth. The maid had obviously started it while we were in the kitchen. My breathing became shallow, my eyes wide and the hand that held my safeword was shaking. Daddy squatted in front of me, tenderly holding the hand that had nothing in it. “I can see you have guessed the next step. Do not worry, honey. You can still use Red, Yellow and Green during scenes.” I nodded, swallowing to fight back the tears that threatened. “I am not taking away your end all safeword.” He held up his square. “I am merely changing it.” His large thumb rubbed the back of my hand. “ You do trust your Daddy, do you not?”

I nodded several times. “Yes Daddy. I’m just scared.”

“I know, but it will be fine.”

He stood up and walked me the rest of the way to the fireplace. I glanced over at puppy-boy, but he was busy playing with a ball. I glanced up at the gagged maid. She shrugged then cast her gaze to the ground.

“Toss it in.” Daddy’s words were a command I had to obey. He held back the screen. I tossed the paper with “banana-split” and my little smiley face on it into the fire. It burned fast.

“So do I get to see the new one, Daddy?”

“Not yet.” He brushed his palms against each other. “Now we are going to play hide and seek. I am certain you have played this before, yes?” I nodded. “The difference with my game is that what you will be seeking is your new safeword and you only have a limited amount of time to find it.” I nodded a bit more hesitantly. “Then we play my favorite game.” He got a dreamy wistful look on his face. Shaking it off, he said, “but we are not to that yet. First, come here.” He took the scarf I had in my hair and put it over my eyes, tying it tightly behind my head. With his hands on my shoulder, he turned me around and walked me over to what I quickly surmised was my corner. “Now count to one hundred out loud.”

As I counted, I tried to listen to where Daddy was moving, but I quickly figured out that he was no longer in the room. “One hundred!” I pulled my blindfold off and flipped around, almost smacking right in to Daddy’s chest. He laughed heartily.

“Now we set the timer.” He walked into the kitchen and set the oven timer for sixty minutes. “You have an hour to find the safeword. It is somewhere in the house but it is not in Daddy’s room, Daddy’s study where he will be working or in any of the servant’s rooms. Once you have found it or the timer goes off, which ever happens first, you will come into Daddy’s study to receive your reward for finding it or your punishment for not finding it. Three rules: (1) Anything you move must be moved back to where it belongs. (2) NOBODY, not even puppy, is allowed to help you. If you ask someone, they will tell me and you will be immediately punished for that. If I find out that someone helped you and did not tell me, both of you will be punished most severely. (3) If you go into any of the places that I told you the paper is not, other than my study when you are done, you will be punished. And I will know, do not think I will not find out. Do you understand?”

“Yes Daddy.”

He kissed my forehead. “Good girl.” Turning on the timer, he patted my ass. “Now go! The clock is ticking.” He strolled off to his study as I frantically began my search.

I just couldn't resist!!

2009-11-03T00:51:00.003-06:00

Who told Mattel about my novel?

Novel Started!

2009-11-02T10:38:00.002-06:00

So this is going to be a really short post. I started my novel. My main character, Charlie, has just met her Sugar Daddy to be and they don't quite know what to make of each other. She's intrigued by him but not interested in him in that way... yet. So far it's told from her point of view so I'm not quite sure what he makes of her. Even if it's not in the novel, I'm going to write out his take on her and I'll post it here.

It's a strong start. I'm so excited! :D

Happy Samhain!

2009-10-31T07:08:00.002-05:00

In celebration of this auspicious time of the year, I've signed up to do NaNoWriMo in November. I'm hoping it'll kick my booty to get Sugar Daddy done much earlier than the deadline I set up for myself. I'll be posting regularly on Mondays & Fridays so you'll get to see how it's going.

And also, a fan created a Face Book fan page for Crumbs in my Cleavage! How cool is that??? It's titled: Crumbs in My Clëavagë

Writing? WRITING!! For I is serious Writer!

2009-10-29T23:37:00.006-05:00

My dear loyal readers,

Three things...

First:
I had a dream the other night about a woman who was trapped by the fulfillment of her own fantasies. While there were erotic elements to the dream, there were horrific features as well. The dream lead to thinking which led to jotting down the idea which led to more ideas and more thinking and more jotting down and eventually I had an outline for a novel staring back up at me. I don't normally outline, but then again, I rarely finish my novels. So, perhaps, this will be the beginning of embarking on projects I actually finish. (Oh how excellent that would be!!)
The novel's working title is Sugar Daddy. So far, it's very fitting and a bit deceptive while still being dead-on.

Second:
I am also working on putting together my erotic memoir(s?). I've been writing bits and pieces of it here but currently, it has no focus. I had originally planned to call it Crumbs in my Cleavage after this blog, but the blog has taken on a life of its own and I feel that if I use that title again, it'll be for something else. The title that's currently pulling at me is, Why Not?, since that tends to be my attitude. Now I don't know the publishing world's stance on titling after an attitude, but... well, why not? ;)

Third:
For my own sanity, I'll be moving my posting days to Mondays & Fridays. I do hope to exploit my larger writings by giving glimpses of my work here. This will help me stay on task with each of these projects. Also, if it just so happens to garner your interest, that would be lovely too!
For the novel, I'm going to give it a deadline of April for the first draft since I think it will need several revisions & I would LOVE to publish it before next Samhain/Halloween.
For the memoir, I'm giving myself until the beginning of next October, just under a year. My reasoning is that even though I've got a lot of writing to draw from, I still don't feel as focused or certain about the form I want this project to take.
Starting in November, I will be sending out my erotic short story fiction as well as stand alone shorter clips of memoir material for publication.

I will, of course, post updates on my progress. I do sooooo much better when I'm accountable to someone(s) other than myself.

Thank you for reading!
Ninian

Musings about my Dungeon

2009-10-27T12:10:00.006-05:00

I have a dungeon in my basement. In said dungeon is a single bed with metal postings, a St. Andrews Cross my friend the FryGuy built for me, chains hanging from the ceiling, a cage, the alter of filth and an exercise bike. I also have rubber floggers, a rope flogger, paddles, spoons, cuffs, rulers, bondage tape and some fun costumes. I have a closet I would like to fix up so that I could lock someone in it & they would only be able to watch the fun going on in the other part of the dungeon. I have a trunk of fun toys in my bedroom that I'd love to move down to the dungeon.

I want to fix up my dungeon. I’ve been waffling back and forth for years about becoming a professional Dominatrix & renting out the dungeon space. I'm still not certain that I've decided 100%, but I am much closer than I've ever been.

The pros:
1. Money for me, money for the Artist (as she is my landlady)
2. Doing what I love
3. I could make my own schedule

The cons:
1. It’ll take some money & time to fix it up & get underway
2. Another drain on my time
3. Strangers coming in and out of the house

I would like to be able to divide it into separate rooms for different scenes. The issue there is I have limited space. I also want to make it an all vegan dungeon. So far, that’s not been as hard as I feared it would be. I also want to do it as cheaply as possible. I believe I’ll be able to enlist the assistance of Crumpet & the Artist & maybe even Raven as he wants to take pictures in my dungeon.

Here is the list of what I need to do:
1. Make a business plan including a budget
2. Decide what rooms I want in my dungeon
3. List the issues -- i.e. we have some flooding, limited space, etc.
4. Make a floor plan
5. Purchase / scavenge supplies

I have a LOT of work ahead of me!

Service

2009-10-22T22:09:00.004-05:00

Crumpet came over last night, bought me pizza and did the dishes. Not just the dishes we used but emptied the dishwasher and did all the dishes in the sink. He's a good Crumpet.

The thing I have to be careful of is not letting his service be just work. He's not really turned on by just being a service sub. He actually does a lot of the cleaning at his house if there's not something to make his work special, he may resent it.

With a short little black skirt that had Vs for edges, he spun around and it flared prettily, I had him take off his top to do the dishes. The Artist and I cuddled on the couch in the living room making comments.

“Oh, I hope he leans over again!”
“That is a nice butt, isn’t it?”
“Nice gams!”
“Oooh! I especially like it when he stands on his tiptoes.”
“We should have more things on the higher shelf, shouldn’t we?”
“Most definitely!”
“It’s too bad that skirt isn’t just a bit shorter.”
“I was just thinking that!”

We’re silly.

When he came back in the room, it was apparent that our ogling had the proper affect. The front of his skirt was raised quite nicely. Just for giggles, I had him hang his sweatshirt off of it. It stayed! The Artist and I busted out laughing.

Reality... TV?

2009-10-20T23:06:00.005-05:00

Okay, I admit it. I watch some reality TV.

It's like junk food... I know it's bad for me, but it just tastes sooooo good! I rarely give it my full attention, kinda like the way I'm usually doing other things while eating junk food. But then, every once in a while, there will be a particularly tasty morsel and I wish I could eat it all the time. I wish it was healthy for me 'cause it's just so damn good! I try to convince myself that eating it will be good for me in some way. I don't buy my bullshit, but I so wish I could.

This is how I feel about watching one particular participant on a really bad reality dating show.

I know, I know... she's not even the main focus of the show. I don't care. For me, it's HER show. And yes... she's not the brightest bulb in the pack , but she's funny & cute & sexy &... well, I'll admit, I want to do naughty things to her. It's odd because I've never been one to have crushes on the famous or the pseudo-famous. But I have quite the crush on that sweet, sweet woman.

My fantasies involve tying her up, pulling her hair, playing with her amazing bosom, spanking her plush ass and licking her all over. They also include her reading me bedtime stories (she has a rich husky voice), holding her hands and looking into her eyes. They do not include deep conversation or listening to her philosophies on... well, anything. It's a shallow lustful crush with moments of tenderness. Well, tenderness with a very D/s sort of twist.

Cross dressing party

2009-10-13T19:22:00.009-05:00

Crumpet, when he's wearing skirts, goes commando. He sent me an e-mail asking of I think he should be panty-less as Chlamydia. I like this. It draws a line between his two personas. Crumpet is modest and shy. Chlamydia, however, is a bit of a rebel and a tart.

For his birthday, Crumpet dressed as the naughty schoolgirl Chlamydia - he had a red wig on and everything! The party his wife & I threw for him was a cross dressing party. I dressed up as Charlie. We wanted to have fun and for him to be surrounded by others dressed as the other gender. That was the idea.

Unfortunately, a lot of the invitees couldn't make it &, of those who did, only two others were cross dressed. His wife dressed as Prince Valiant and another friend, Raven, had on a fantastically colorful dress and long white wig. There was a mix up with the cake (as in, there wasn't one) so I came up with the brilliant plan to go to the store and get a cake. Prince Valiant stayed with the rest of the guests as Chlamydia, Raven & I went to the store. We were in costume and received many odd stares. A few boys burst out laughing and ribbed each other saying, "hey, isn't that your sister?" We got the cake and joked with a few other store patrons. It was great fun!

The thing that I found interesting about this venture is how a bit of Chlamydia's rebellious personality coming out. It wasn't quite as expressive as it's become in the emails he's sent me, but there was a glimmer. And for him to show it in public was quite delightful.

Chlamydia (part 2)

2009-10-06T12:28:00.008-05:00

Ms. Maphia

The first time I met Cindy was on her birthday. She stormed into the Front Office demanding to see the principle. Since the door to my office was open, I was witness.

“Where is the principle? I DEMAND to see him!” She slammed her fist on the counter and leaned over it staring hard at Eunice, the receptionist.

Understandable flustered, Eunice avoided eye contact, shuffled papers, stood up, sat back down, then stood up again. Her voice came out sniveling. “Now look here, missy, that attitude is inappropriate!” She actually looked at Cindy as her voice raised in pitch as well as volume. “First of all, the principle is a she, not a he. And s-second of all, she’s currently out of the office. So you are just going to have to…”

Cindy leaned over the counter, nose to nose with Eunice, and whispered, “If you say settle down, I will punch you in your glasses so they shatter and slice your eye.”

Eunice fell back into her seat.

“Good. Now tell me, who do I speak with since that jack-ass health teacher sent me here for giggling?”

“That’d be me.” I didn’t look up from the file I had pulled out of the stack on my desk and merely motioned with my fingers for her to come into my office. Still pretending to read the folder in front of me, I listened as she stomped in and plopped herself onto the cushy chair opposite mine. Tapping the desk between us with a pen, I went back to reading about her expulsions, failing grades, smoking and drinking in the girls’ lavatories and locker rooms, other possible criminal (though never proven) activity on and off school property, etc, etc, etc… Yep, pretty standard for the girls who end up here. She just seemed to have a lot more spunk. There was also a note about her being caught on adult websites while using school computers.

Still not looking up, I said, “Cindy, close the door.”

She shuffled in her seat. “No, you can close it your own damn self. I don’t have to obey you!”

I slammed her file shut and looked her directly in the eye. Without raising my voice, I cocked an eyebrow. “Of course you don’t have to. But you will, Chlamydia9.”

She gasped at this, hopped up and slammed the door shut. “How did you…?”

“I have my sources.” I stood up. “Now sit down.” She did. I walked slowly to her, my favorite wooden ruler in my hand, and sat on the edge of the desk. I crossed my ankles and tapped the ruler lightly against my palm. “From reading your file, I see that just about every disciplinary measure has been tried except for one big one. Do you know what that is, Cindy?”

“Jail.” She stated it as a fact. She’d obviously been told that's where she was heading and had come to accept it.

I slowly shook my head. “Oh no, not yet, honey. There’s one more thing we can try before we give up and put you away.” I smacked my hand hard with the ruler, still holding her eyes with my own. “Corporal Punishment.”

Her eyes widened as she jumped from the seat and rushed to the door. She frantically twisted the handle, but nothing happened. I waited for her to wear herself out. She turned, panting.

“Why can’t I open it?”

“Because it only unlocks from the inside with a key.” I smiled.

Chlamydia (part 1)

2009-10-01T22:43:00.005-05:00

No, not the disease.

This is the name Crumpet has chosen for his schoolgirl persona. Chlamydia is 18 years old, often naughty and in need of discipline. When we play, which we're slowly getting into, I am Ms. Maphia. She's based on my forth grade teacher who just so happened to be a belly dancer and on whom I had a schoolgirl crush.

I've started writing a bit of fiction about Chlamydia & Ms. Maphia... and here's the rather rough start of it. Enjoy!

I saw the word Chlamydia written on a bathroom wall. I thought it was the most beautiful word. It was so much prettier than Cindy. I was 12. How was I to know what the word meant? And on a bathroom wall, they don't give definitions... the context was confusing. "[smeared name] has Chlamydia to share!" I thought it was an adult drink.

That was the year we got our first PC. Chlamydia9 became my secret, away from my parents, screen name and e-mail addy. In any chat room I went into, I received lots of attention. When I was Chlamedia9, I had no fear. By the time I was 16, I knew what chlamydia was and, after the initial shock, I thought it was hilarious. I had five internet boyfriends and my Chlamydia persona started seeping into my real life.

I started smoking, drinking and hanging out with the 'bad kids'. After my second expulsion, my parents sent me to Catholic school. I was 17 going on 18 and they feared I'd be arrested if I didn't straighten up. It was on my birthday when I first heard chlamydia spoken out loud in my 'abstinence only' health class. The teacher was not in the least bit amused when I burst out laughing. I got detention and was immediately sent to the Principle's office. That was the day I met Ms. Maphia... that was the day my life changed forever.

Sex Toy Party

2009-09-29T22:41:00.003-05:00

Saturday, Crumpet and I went to a sex toy party. Crumpet was wearing a skirt, he's becoming more and more comfortable out of pants, and he looked super cute. I was dressed rather gypsy-esque in my luchadora boots and silvery bell earings. The witchies, who were hosting the party, laid out quite a spread of food. I thought we were going to be late, but the woman running the event got held up in traffic and was an hour and a half late. But with good food, good drinks and fun conversation, we only noticed her tardiness because we were waiting. (That and the fact that Crumpet & I had to take off early.)

I'll confess, for the most part I wasn't terribly impressed by what was for sale. The presentation was good and conversational, but the products were mostly hetero-normative and vanilla. They did have a strap-on in the catalog, a double ended dildo & a few items that gave a nod to BDSM. But overall, the items weren't terribly exciting. (Though the "Tongue Tied" red vibrator that looked like Freddy Kruger's nose & tongue was a bit disturbing.)

There was one FANTASTIC moment. The woman who was running the event held up the black satin mask & ties from the itty-bitty bondagey part of the catalogue. She was explaining how to add a bit of kinky excitement when she looked right at me and said, "You're looking at me like I have seven heads." I'd actually been zoning out 'cause, yawn, bondage lite! I started to protest, but then she said, "you're not looking at me like most folks who are freaked out by this. No. That's a 'been there, done that' look, right?" I smirked still trying to figure out how she knew this.
And that's when I realized that I was massaging Crumpet's head rather possessively & that my body language, leaning back in the chair with my legs splayed, was a dead give away. I had to laugh!

Consistancy

2009-09-29T11:32:00.002-05:00

I've been busy, distracted, had computer problems & haven't posted since... JULY!!! For shame, Ninian, for shame. If I had a Dom, I'd TOTALLY deserve punishing for this!

Well, my faithful followers (if you're still there), Fall is a season of transitions & I plan to transition into a more consistent blogger & writer. I will begin with a post today (this one doesn't count) and give myself a deadline of midnight. So postings will be on Tuesdays & Thursdays before midnight. There are a lot of things I have for you, my dear readers, and hope to make it worth your wait!

Vegan Flogger!!

2009-07-14T14:28:00.006-05:00

This past week the Artist was off tattooing in West Virginia for La Garou's CampOUT. I was sad not to go with her this year. But I couldn't take too much time off from the new-ish job and I was lacking funds. Hopefully, I'll be able to go next year. She had a good time & came back with a plethora of stories and a GIFT!!!

Sometimes, if you have something she wants, she'll barter. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, she gets some cool swag. And often, because she's the BEST Hetero-Lifemate a girl could ever hope to have, she'll barter for something for me. (That's how I ended up with the lovely St. Andrews Cross the FryGuy made.)

This time... ROPE FLOGGERS!! She got one for herself and one for me. She knows I'm trying to build an all vegan dungeon & is helping me make it amazing. I tried it on myself and wow... It has a nice thuddy feel to it. I'm so giddy I squeed!

It's pretty too!

Tomorrow, I might just have to try it out on some hapless... er, lucky victim! I wonder who I'll get to volunteer?

Some thoughts...

2009-06-30T20:54:00.006-05:00

A friend of mine fears that she has no standing in the BDSM community. She's had some criticism and it's made her question whether she belongs in the lifestyle. This got me to thinking and, as often happens with me, my comment on her blog got a little long so I decided it needed its own post. ;)

What anyone does in their own personal life should always be that: their OWN personal life. No one can dictate, no matter how much they think they know better than you, who you are or even what label(s) you claim. If your entire kink is to say that you're a slave without doing anything slave-like and your partner is cool with it, then so be it.

Negotiate the rules & stick to your boundaries. I'm not into any verbal humiliation, giving or receiving. However, I've known those who claim that verbal humiliation is imperative. For me to hook-up with someone like that would take quite a bit of give and take. If they want to verbally humiliate me, that's a no go but I'd be more flexible if I was doling out the verbal humiliation. It's not my kink, but it wouldn't upset me like being verbally humiliated. If you know for a fact that beatings make you angry or just plain hurt without any pleasure, then they'd be on your "do not" list. If you like bondage, cute outfits & sexually pleasuring your partner, those are on your "yes please!" list. Never fear to renegotiate. Of course, that should NEVER occur during a scene, but afterwards, when you've both cooled down, take a moment and talk things through. In fact, it’s not a bad idea to always take some time to talk between scenes. Each lover, each scene, is unique. Yes it's play, but it's also learning the other person.

All relationships thrive on good communication. Poly & kink relationships are no different. They absolutely NEED strong communication. Does that mean everyone's going to automatically agree? No. But at least you'll know where the other person(s) coming from, what they want & what they will not tolerate.

One of the reasons I don't play in public is that I have no desire to be criticized by strangers or even those I know who are not involved in the scene. I run my scenes my way and not by committee unless it’s the committee of me and my sub. (or Dom, depending on who I’m with.)

As far as living the life 24/7, I don't. While someone may come along who'll change my mind on this, it would take some convincing.

Bad Mistress...

2009-06-29T09:33:00.004-05:00

Crumpet is a good sub... most of the time. When we were shopping, he carried all my purchases as we wandered through the store. He even stayed a few steps behind me. But when we were heading to the store he said I was a bad Mistress. Apparently when he said he didn't want to go to the store in his panties, stockings and the garter belt he just bought, he really wanted me to make him.

It's true... I have been taking things a bit slow with Crumpet since he's new to the D/s lifestyle. And okay, I'll admit it, I've also been a bit lazy with his training. When I said something about wanting a massage, he said he wasn't very good at them. Instead of just saying, "fine, whatever," I should have insisted he try and given him direction & critique or punished him for not doing what I wanted.

Part of it is that I'm enjoying just hanging out with him, getting to know him and loving him. I like the relative ease our relationship has. We even have official date nights: Wednesdays & Saturdays. This adds a certain level of commitment and allows me to schedule things better. We're getting closer, understanding each other better and the sex is amazing. I know that pushing the D/s element too far & too fast could bring on unwanted complications. I'm fine with taking things slow. But if he's feeling like I'm not doing a good job, then perhaps I should step things up a notch.

Another part is that I'm just so damn tired after work. But that's not a good excuse... not even much of a reason.

I had a sub who called me a "Sensual Mistress" and, while he meant it as a compliment, there's also a negative side to it. I am constantly thinking of what would be sensually pleasing for both myself and my sub and not thinking enough about the ways a sub could benefit my life. While it would be nice to have a sub that anticipates my needs & wants as any good sub should, I have to remember that Crumpet's still new and I have to train him. I feel that we're definitely at a place where he trusts me enough to train him to my desires as his Mistress.

So what is an appropriate punishment for a sub who tells you that you're a bad Dom? I have some ideas of what I'm going to do to him on Wednesday, but I'm definitely open to suggestions. ;)

Drumming & Dreaming

2009-06-24T08:15:00.008-05:00

On summer solstice, Crumpet & I went to a drum circle at Pixie's lovely house. The house has high ceilings and a large living room to play in. A group of drummers gathered, bringing dishes for potluck and we drummed. There were all sorts of drums as well as other percussive instruments. The rhythms were varied and unique with starts and stops and sliding from one beat to the next. The swell of the vibrations got me all tingly. (Even though I happen to know that several in attendance were, shall we say, sensual beings, I did nothing about my rising libido since there are children in the group.)

Once Crumpet and I were back at his place and the kids were tucked away in their beds, we're quickly naked, attacking each other with mouth and hands. I mounted him and rode him to ecstasy. I cum over and over again, pulling at his nipples as if they were reigns. It's rare that I let go entirely of my concern for my lovers pleasure. But that night, it was all about me. I put his hands back onto my breasts when they dropped off, directing him to pinch, squeeze and caress as it enhanced each orgasm.

That night my dream was of a different sort of drum circle. Not all in attendance were drumming; some were the drums. Each body part made a unique sound; each beating brought on a variety of vocalizations from the human drums. Some of the drums were bound with ropes that would have to be tightened or loosened depending on the sound desired. One woman was tied up with fishing line over gauze bearing a million little bells. A man, suspended from the ceiling, had a cowbell hanging from his balls. The music we made with this human drum circle was amazingly lovely.

Sexual Fantasies

2009-06-16T19:50:00.009-05:00

"Weird" Sex Fantasies, And Why They're Good For You

After reading this article (linked above) a friend sent me, I had to post it. It got me thinking about my own fantasies… particularly when I’m masturbating. One weird trend I've noticed with myself is that when I'm in a relationship with someone who fulfills a particular kink, i.e. dating Crumpet who's exploring his submissive side, I tend to have two main types of fantasies.

The first type involve my current lover and, often, include some of our sexual escapades. These fantasies are grounded in reality. I'm reliving things we've done, sensations I've felt... the feel of his teeth on my nipples... my straddling him... binding him... clawing him... the feel of his hips against mine as he thrusts deeper and harder inside me...

The other fantasies tend to be of an unknown person (or persons) different from the reality of my life. Sometimes it's a woman who has me bound and is punishing me. Sometimes there's a reason for the punishment, sometimes not. Sometimes I'm a willing accomplice, but often I've been forced into this slavery. Sometimes I'm still a Mistress, but my sub is a girl who likes to be tortured.

And then there are the apartment fantasies. This series of fantasies is intricate and doesn't hinge on whether or not I 'm dating someone. And it's pure fantasy; the road I can never seen myself on.
I'm a 24/7 slave to a harsh master/mistress. (The gender of my Dom tends to be fluid and sometimes a MtF pre-op trans.) We live in a really nice apartment that I keep clean. In fact, in this fantasy, I do all the domestic duties except shopping as I'm not allowed out of the apartment by myself. When I do try to venture out on my own, I discover that my Dom owns the building and everyone in it works for Her/Him and they have permission to punish me if I'm found wandering the halls or trying to leave.
Once, I made it as far as the lobby, but the doorman caught me. With the help of two burly bellboys, he ripped off my clothes, whipped me with riding crop he kept behind the desk and fucked me on the plush carpeting. When he was done, the bellboys had their way with me... both of them, with me sandwiched between them... one dick in my pussy and the other in my ass.
But most often, I'm at the apartment door, naked except for a collar, waiting for my master to come home. As soon as S/He walks through the door, I become the good servant and remove coat, hat and anything they might be holding. I take their clothes and dress them in a robe. I sit them in a chair and kneel to remove socks and shoes and massage their feet. As I finish, the back of my head is clasped (or, if I'm wearing pigtails, my hair is grabbed) and my mouth is guided to suck on a clit or an erect penis. After I bring my Dom to orgasm, S/He pulls me over their knees and spanks me until my ass is bright red. Then, grabbing me by the hair, S/He drags me through the apartment, showing me all the things I did wrong. The entire place has recording devices throughout so they knows what I've been doing all day. At one point, S/He informed me that I am on a website where there was a live stream of everything I do. There are often other punishments and eventually my Dom fucks me.
The main thing about this fantasy is that I have no control over my life... something I would not want in real life, but wow, does the idea of it ever get my juices flowing!

And now a question for you dear reader: What are some of your sexual fantasies?

Writing on writing

2009-06-05T22:59:00.003-05:00

Sometimes, no matter how much I write, it all sucks. But fret not, loyal readers, I'm working on a juicy tale called Threesome in the Woods, and will post... hopefully soon. In the meantime, this weekend is busy with work and a party at Crumpet's house where I'm going to get to meet some of his friends. (Woo-hoo!) Then on Monday & Tuesday I'll be out of town for work. (Yeah, my days off get eaten by work... boo.)

Come Wednesday, my goal is to set up a writing/posting schedule for my blog and a writing/sending-off-to-be-published schedule.

Hiatus - The Good, The Bad, The Writing

2009-05-20T08:33:00.005-05:00

The Good:
The Artist & I are heading off to the woods for some good ole Pagan camping. Crumpet and his family are going too! This is just what I need right now. There are going to be a lot of friends I haven't seen in quite a while and a great deal of frolicking. I hope to come back with an erotic tale or two.

The Bad:
This means, I'll continue to neglect this blog until sometime next week when I'm back. I hadn't intended to go quite this long without posting, but life got a bit busy.

The Writing:
In fact, I have several drafts of posts that never quite made it. I may shuffle through them for ideas for future posts. I seem to do better when I give myself specific days to post so I'm going to figure out what days would be best with my schedule. I NEED to write more! I also NEED to send more of my writing to contests & publishers.... something I'll be working on as well.

Impolite Conversation

2009-05-05T20:21:00.004-05:00

Saturday was exactly a month after our first date and I was late. I hate running late! Work was short staffed & I didn't get a lunch so I didn't even have a chance to text Crumpet. But he was very patient and gracious even though he had to wait almost half an hour for me to get home.

I needed to take a shower, so I invited him to join me. We quickly removed clothes and got in under the water. Crumpet was... well, aroused. I realized, in the middle of a very passionate kiss, that this was the first time we've been naked together... vertically. This made me giggle*.
"What's funny?" He asked.
I shrugged ad kissed him some more.
We washed each other... sort of. There was really a lot more kissing and groping than washing. His skin was slick against mine and felt really good. As our bodies pressed together, I discovered the advantage of having a lover not much taller than me. Standing on my tip-toes, I could straddle his cock. I squeezed him between my thighs. He gasped and dropped the washcloth. It landed on my chest then slid down over my nipples. Startled by the sensation, I stepped back and it landed... on his dick. We both started laughing. Surprisingly, it stayed there until I removed it.

* I have a bad habit of inappropriate giggling.
I can't always explain why I'm giggling.
This makes some people nervous.
Especially lovers.

We went to dinner at the same Thai place we'd gone to a month ago. Since it was a Saturday, the place was pretty hoppin'. It didn't take long to get a table. After our food arrived, he got Pad Thai & I got Pad Woonsen, we decided to have some impolite conversation**.
Crumpet: Maybe we can make a washcloth measurement. As unto, how many washcloths a
penis can hold.
Me: But wouldn't it work better with ribbons? Though I suppose that's been done.
Crumpet: Not how many in a row, but the weight of how many before they fall off.
Me: Oh. Oh! That could be fun. Really fun!
Crumpet: Of course, there'd have to be a wet test and a dry test.
Me: Of course. Hmmmm.... I'm going to have to start collecting washcloths.
Crumpet: Yes.

** The first time we went, we had polite conversation.
From that, we talked about what would qualify
as "impolite conversation".

Afterwards, we went shopping. We'd been discussing getting him some lingerie and I decided it was time. While I've provided panties for a boy, had one wear some of mine and even had a sub go shopping for some, I'd never gone shopping with the person I was playing with. It was fun! We strolled through the "intimate apparel" and found some lovely lacy pieces. I would take each one off the rack and hold it up to him. He was almost as turned on as I was. And he was blushing... quite delicious. We finally came across a cute pair of sheer black panties with peach bows. Even though I was buying the panties for him, I made him carry them to the check out.
At home, he modeled them for me. I took pictures. When the Artist came home, I insisted he show her his present. He was hesitant, saying she wouldn't want to see. But she did, so the pants came off. He held up his shirt & spun slowly.
Artist: He barely fits in there, does he?
Me: Yeah, he's pokin' out!
He was blushing. It was very sexy.

It wasn't too much longer before I took him up to my bed.

Fun Poly Moment

2009-05-02T07:24:00.004-05:00

As I doubt I'm going to get a full post in tonight, what with being distracted and all, I thought I'd get up before work and post a little something since I wanted to post every day this week. (Whoever decided that must be crazy!)

Last night I was separately chatting online with Crumpet & his wife. He was being cheeky and silly and while he told me that his ego has gotten pretty inflated, I was only seeing confidence rather than arrogance. But I was online with him and not in person. His wife informed me that the ego is "out of control". We discussed getting together and figuring out a punishment for him. But after a bit of discussion, we realized that we already know a weakness and punishment really won't be all that difficult.
So we decided that we should get together just to hang out... sans the man. We didn't pick a date or time, but have plans to make plans... which I always find amusing. She's a pretty awesome woman and I'm looking forward to getting to know her better.

Should not post while tipsy....

2009-05-01T21:31:00.005-05:00

So I started writing a serious (well, somewhat serious... as serious as I get in this blog) post. But then the Artist came home with Hard Cider to celebrate Beltane. Happy Beltane! Kinda lost my posting momentum. And tomorrow night I have a date with Crumpet. (Damn! I wasn't going to write about him.) ;)

Tomorrow will be a month since our first date and, to honor the occasion, he's taking me to the same Thai place we went to for our first date. I know it's corny, but it makes me squee with glee that Crumpet is just as ridiculously romantic.

Bondage for Beginners

2009-04-30T22:41:00.005-05:00

The last time I was with someone who hadn't had much experience with bondage was when I was dating Toe. But the thing with Toe was everything was new to him. I was the one who deflowered the boy... but that's another post for another time.

With Crumpet, I have a man who is already an experienced and an amazing lover. And while he'll on occasion hint at sexual innocence, I don't quite buy it. He's too confident & secure in his sexual prowess. Plus, he's incredibly fun in bed! Now don't get me wrong, as I understand it, his uncertainty lies in that he's not had as many partners as I've had and his venture into the realm of kink has been limited... though there are some things he's told me about that he didn't necessarily consider kink but I would. Semantics.

He told me, he was interested in being tied up. He told me, the idea of bondage excited him. He told me, he trusted me.

I happen to have a wonderful product called Bondage Tape. It looks and feels a bit electrical tape but it's not sticky and it clings to itself. It doesn't pull out hair. It's similar to saran wrap that way.

He was lying on his back, naked in my bed. I bound his wrists above his head.

"Can you break it?" I whispered in his ear. He moved his hands, trying to get free. After a few seconds of struggling, he shook his head. I kissed his mouth. "Good." I kissed, nibbled and scratched my way down his body. Then I wrapped his ankles as well. Once he was secured, I tickled him. Crumpet is a deliciously ticklish man. Sharp nailed scratches made him writhe between crunched up giggling.

"Roll over," I breathed. He did so. I'd decided to give him a massage. Reaching under my bed, I grabbed my goody basket. But I couldn't find the massage oil. I did find some lube and I thought, it's wet and it's cool.... So I used it. The problem being, lube gets kinda sticky. Not the affect I was going for.

"I'll be right back," I said, scurrying off to the bathroom. I quickly grabbed a towel, got it damp and hurried back. The towel was a bit cold, so his gasps from that as I cleaned the lube off his back were quite lovely. But I still felt kinda foolish even though he had no idea about my error.

After drying his back, I proceeded to scratch him up nicely. I thought about spanking and/or whipping him, but decided that since those sensations would also be new to him, I would save them for another time.

His House

2009-04-29T07:05:00.003-05:00

For our third date, I went to Crumpet's house. He was watching his daughters since their mother had her own date in the city. Now I must confess, the prospect of meeting the kids is a bit intimidating. I mean, after all, I’ve turned folks down because they have children and here I was about to spend an evening with the kids of a guy I’d only had two dates with.

So I took a page from the Firebird’s book (she’ll often bring feathers and ribbons and shiny things for children) and, because I collect hats, brought a few hats for the girls to play with. There was also a ribbon, a lighted necklace and a bracelet too tiny for me. I needn’t have worried, the girls and I got along really well.

After the girls’ bedtime, Crumpet and I hung out on the couch just talking and kissing. Then we headed into the bedroom. The room was gorgeous! Crumpet’s wife had done it up in a Moroccan motif. But I felt a little weird crawling in their bed. After all, when I dated Puck, he and his wife had a rule against either of them having sex in their bed without the other spouse being involved. Also, the Artist’s boyfriend, Plus, & his wife reserve their bed for them alone.

But that’s not the arrangement Crumpet & his wife have. They share their bed. I probably would have stayed out in the living room but for two reasons: (a) I had to work early the next morning and I don't sleep so well in foreign places especially if there's not a bed. & (b) the boy makes me horny. (I'll admit it... just being around him gets my panties moist.)

We took our time that night and slowly explored each others bodies with hands and mouths and eyes. Everything was slow and sensual and extremely sexy. We talked and cuddled and had some mind-blowing amazing sex. I was concerned about the puddle I made on their bed, but he assured me he'd take care of it. I'm not quite sure what it is about his technique that does it, but just having somewhat vanilla sex with this man has me writhing and orgasming over and over again until I cascade like a fountain.

And all this without any kink thrown in... yet.

Reflections on Crumpet

2009-04-28T19:03:00.009-05:00

Crumpet and I started e-mailing back in December. He recognized the picture I had as the same one I’d posted for the Poly meetup group we both belonged to. After the initial e-mail exchange, we actually met in person at the January Poly Pot Luck. He was there with his wife and daughters and I was there with the Artisit.

The first thing I noticed was that he wasn’t just cute like I thought he was in his pictures; he was deliriously adorable. Yet he was shy and quiet, so I didn’t really get to know him. To be fair, I wasn’t talking much either. I tend not to be too chatty in larger groups. Besides, the Artist was there and she is a fantastic conversationalist. Crumpet’s wife is also exceedingly fascinating. Their girls were amazingly well behaved. It was lovely to watch parents who deal with their kids so well.

Even though I wasn’t dating, I was intrigued. We exchanged a few more e-mails in January and chatted a bit, but then communication dropped off in February. I knew he’d started dating someone else and, while I was enjoying our fun exchanges, I knew it wasn’t going anywhere. I figured, if we do become friends, it would be a slow process. There were a few other gatherings I could have gone to and possibly seen him (including one at his place), but with my new work schedule & my desire to hibernate during the winter, I just wasn't up for it.

Then, towards the end of March, he sent me an e-mail and the conversation began again. He gives good e-mail. He later told me that he kinda-maybe-sorta remembered that I was planning to date in the Spring. He’d also read my Musings on being Child Free post which I’d kinda-maybe-sorta posted with him in mind… which he commented on. After a few exchanges and getting back to chatting online, we were in deep flirt. There was obviously an attraction. I thought about being patient & wait to see how long it took him to ask me out. After all, he wasn't the only guy I was flirting with. But I realized that I didn't want to wait. Patience be damned! I asked him out.

Audacious

2009-04-28T01:47:00.002-05:00

Monday evening I wrote this:

I am sitting in the Firebird’s Aerie, writing along side her as she writes.
We do this.
The Firebird is currently on her own path of passion. She is experimenting… playing a May game in which she has four different dates with four different men all in the same month. Thus far, there are three. The first is the man she has known and been friends with. She asked him out. Then the man she met briefly who went out of his way to find her again. The third is a friend of a friend. The Firebird’s friend wanted them to meet in only a sideways attempt at playing matchmaker. And there will be a fourth.
I admire the Firebird. She sets a challenge for herself and accepts her own challenge. I know she will succeed in this endeavor because she is The Firebird. I aspire to be as audacious as she.

And speaking of audacity, dear readers, I should bring you up to date on the happenings with my delectable (de-LICK-able) Crumpet. And yes, I do call him mine. It’s a funny thing with Polyamory… A person can belong to you in the sense of “being apart of your life” and still belong to another. It’s beyond sharing… something I haven’t yet the vocabulary for, but it’s beautiful, whatever it’s called. Compersion comes close. But it’s more than the feeling of glee when your lover is with another lover… in fact, it’s more than emotion. It’s an honor and a privilege… And now I’m rambling…

I had initially intended to write about every single date. A kind of experiment of my own to see if I could do it. I got as far as the second date & got, shall we say, distracted. Well, that and I got busy. Life, you know? Though I wonder if that’s all entirely true. There is a part of me that just wanted to be selfish and keep him all to myself… at least for a while. Though I knew it wouldn’t last forever. For even though I am not an exhibitionist in person, I am one in words. I adore displaying my amorous escapades for the world to read. I want everyone to celebrate and luxuriate in the things I do to, with and for my lovers.

This week, I will write... every day.

Second Date, Double Date

2009-04-11T19:45:00.006-05:00

"Most guys bring flowers, I bring crumpets." Crumpet smirked as he handed me a package. There was a mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes. We hugged and came further into the house.

Honestly, I'm not one for flowers. They die. But something yummy to eat? Cleaver. It made me smile. (Later, when I had a chance to eat a crumpet, I found that they’re quite delicious, just like Crumpet. Mmmmmm, I'd like to butter him...)

I had rushed home to take a shower and get dressed before Crumpet arrived. I succeeded... mostly. I was still sans socks and my hair was wet and unbrushed. We sat on the couch and talked, actually talked. To have a conversation about nothing in particular was delightful. There was a bit of tender touching, but not much beyond that since we were waiting for the Artist to get off work so we could get some dinner with her and her beau, Plus. We talked about Eddie Izzard and the English need to cue and Bill Bryson’s take on the British and Crumpet said he would loan me “Mother Tongue”. It’s only the second date and he’s already talking about sharing his books with me. *swoon* I love books!

He joked that we should once again be making out in the same position the Artist saw him last. I thought it was funny, but the conversation was too interesting to stop… even for something I was yearning to do.

The Artist arrived, looking lovely as usual. Since Crumpet was in a loaner car, we took the Beetle and he sat in back. The Artist offered to let us sit together in the back, but I have a quirk about being chauffered around. It would have been nice to cuddle in the back, but it’s just not my style.

We met Plus at the Olive Garden. The dinner was lovely. Plus shared amusing anecdotes about his coworkers and there was a familiar banter to our conversation. Crumpet even easily joined it. This thrilled me. It’s important to me that the person I’m dating gets along with my friends.

Afterwards, we went back to my place. We’d already decided that he was spending the night. It just made sense. He had to work at 7 am and he didn’t want to wake the family coming in late. I figured, it being only the second date & all, if I didn’t want him in my bed, I could find some spot in the living room for him to sleep. Of course, if things swung to the complete opposite end of the spectrum, there’s always a bed down in the dungeon.

But I did want him in my bed.

I turned off the light, not because I didn’t want to see him or for any feigned modesty on my part, but because the lights in my room glare and I wanted no distraction. We stayed clothed, our tongues exploring each other’s mouths, with teasing flicks over lips. As I bit his lower lip, a sigh escaped him. Sucking his tongue, his body trembled. Our hands roamed over clothes until either his fingers or mine, I can’t say who went first, slipped beneath the other’s shirt, exploring skin.

At some point, our shirts and my bra came off. Hands were replaced with lips and tongues and a bit of teeth. I wanted to bite him, really bite him, to bruise him, and him me, but we hadn’t discussed markings so I was respectful… despite my desires.

I was straddling him when I made up my mind.

“We both have way too many clothes on,” I whispered.

“Do we now?” I could feel his grin.

I nodded knowing he couldn’t see me, dismounted to remove my skirt and panties. “You have a condom?”

He paused in removing his pants and I heard that distinct crinkle as he removed it before whipping off his pants. The rip and tear of the wrapper grew as I kissed him and he slid the condom on.

Straddling him again, he eased up inside me, filling me. I was already quite moist from the intense foreplay, so it didn’t take long until I was thoroughly wet.

“Your bed squeaks.” It was a statement, not a question or a concern that the Artist and Plus would hear.

I opened my mouth the say, “I should oil the hinges,” but he hit my sweet spot as I only got half the question out and the rest turned into gasps. I rode him, licking, biting, scratching… through three orgasms. We were slick with sweat.

Just as I was about to suggest that we switch positions, he said it. I rolled off him snickering.

“What?”

“I just…” I couldn’t form the words. My brain was mush. “timing, ya know?”

He slid between my legs, kissing his way up my body. I guided his long hard cock inside of me, wrapping my legs around him. He pushed deeper into me as I came over and over again, my water flowing.

And he kept going… Crumpet has quite the stamina! Whenever I felt he was about to cum, he switched up the rhythm. When he finally came, I exploded one last time. He left me panting to go clean up in the bathroom. I knew I should too, but my legs were wobbly…. I wasn’t going anywhere.

He crawled back into bed and we cuddled, twisting my body away from the puddle I’d left. As I drifted to an amazingly comfortable sleep, I sighed. What a way to get back to sex!

First Date with Crumpet

2009-04-06T12:07:00.009-05:00

A Crumpet: a savoury/sweet bread snack
A piece of crumpet: British slang A sexually desirable woman (or, in this case, man)
"yup only in england will you find that bread product = sex" ~ Crumpet
“A tasty treat with the word ‘pet’ in it? Delicious.” ~ Ninian ;)

Thursday night I had my first date with Crumpet. It was delightful!

He remembered that I liked thai food and thoughtfully suggested we get some. The food was great and the company was lovely. The one hiccup was that conversation was sparse. While we’ve chatted up a storm online and have had some fantastic email volleys, in person, he's shy and I have a tendency to sit back and observe when I'm first getting to know someone. But it was comfortable beyond my, "oh shit, I should say something. What should I talk about?" thoughts.

Afterwards, we went back to my place. The Artist was there and watched the movie Snatch with us. After the movie, we all talked for a bit. Well, actually, he and I quietly sat close as fingers and fingernails roamed over arms and hands while we listened and responded to the Artist. At one point, I ask Crumpet if I could stroke his head. He raised an eyebrow but said, “sure.” He’s mostly bald with downy hair where he’s not. His scalp is very pleasant to rub. But it felt kind of awkward, so I didn’t do it for too long. After a bit of her talking and us not so much, the Artist decided to read up in her room.

I wouldn't say we attacked each other.... but the leaning and the touching escalated until we were kissing. He’s a lovely kisser. Gentle but firm and tantalizing. We were cuddling on the couch; he’s very cuddly and the dog was getting a wee bit jealous. As I was running my nails lightly over his skin, I discovered he was ticklish. Foolishly, he revealed that he’s deathly ticklish. (Poor boy, I do like the idea of making a potential paramour squirm.)

At some point, the Artist came downstairs to get something from the kitchen. We didn’t even pause. I could tell he enjoyed her wandering through. He’s a bit of an exhibitionist & later told me that I bring it out in him. Plus, he liked the idea of possibly embarrassing her. Cheeky Crumpet!

Before the date, I decided that we weren’t going to have sex. I hadn’t decided whether or not I was going to take him up to my room. But as much as I was enjoying groping like teenagers in heat, the sofa was becoming less and less comfortable.

I made up my mind and asked him, “would you like to come up to my room,” I put my finger to his lips, “with the caveat of no sex?” He nodded enthusiastically.

I set my alarm since he had to be at work hours before I did. Laying in my bed, we continued rubbing and touching and exploring each other. I rolled him onto his back and held him down, kissing and teasing him. It delighted me how much he liked that.

At some point, he asked if it would be okay if he removed his shirt. To which I responded, “If you remove your shirt, I’m just gonna have to remove mine.” He was okay with that. Next, his belt came off. A belt is like a bra – the belt holds up his pants, the bra holds up my boobs – so off came my bra.

He’s a nipple nibbler. Which is good, cause I like that. Two day later, my tender breasts would make me grin and flush, thinking of him. Speaking of flushing… did I mention he blushes beautifully? Yeah, I like that.

At some point, we snuggled alongside each other and fell asleep. I actually slept. And not only that, but I slept well and deep. When my alarm went off, the cuddling and kissing began all over again. I didn’t want him to leave, he didn’t want to leave… it was a very good first date.

The Snow Has Melted

2009-03-31T22:30:00.003-05:00

Spring is here and I'm dating again. I have my first date on Thursday. It's with a guy I've been chatting up for a while. I met him and his lovely wife and his kids at a poly meetup group. Yep, you read that right.... I'm going on a date with a guy who has kids. His wife's pretty damn awesome & the daughters I only met briefly, they were really sweet. He's smart, sweet, awfully cute and incredibly interesting. We'll see how things go!

Closets - a bit of a rant

2009-03-27T07:31:00.003-05:00

I'm not a fan of closets. And no, not those little rooms where garments and other random items get stored. Though, oddly enough, the one in my bedroom is broken & not used as much of a closet.

I'm referring to the closets people put themselves in. It's not that I run about waving the freak flag (despite my tattoos often being on display) or feel that it's necessary for everyone to know all the details of my personal life, but if the subject comes up or I'm asked, I don't hide who I am. I know that not everyone is so fortunate as I am to have a job where no one's going to care that I'm a bi-poly-pagan-kinkster. Not that I go into any of that with the clientele and definitely didn't discuss it with my students when I was teaching. So, in that way, my professional life is separate from my personal life. Though I have had someone ask me about my pentagram & I explained it in very general terms. I also had a discussion about homosexuality with some students who were tossing around the word 'gay' as if it were an insult. So aspects of my personal life do come up.

While I'm open to my family, my parents (southern baptist / born again christians) have a way of not really acknowledging the things about my life they don't approve of and I'm not one to shove these things down anyone's throat. The last time I visited, my dad & I actually had a decent conversation about my Paganism. It ended with him saying he fears I'm going to hell. His intentions were well meaning. But I would hate to be in a closet concerning my personal life with anyone I live with... again.
I began my kinky exploration while living with my parents & they never knew. Much to their dismay, they found out about my sexual promiscuity since I was spending the night over at a boyfriend's house that just so happened to be two doors down from one of their fellow church goers. She felt it was her christian duty to tell my parents, even though I was an adult at the time, that she had seen my car overnight at his house. My dad lectured me on how it 'looked'. I think he was most upset because it made him look bad.
Me: How does it look?
Dad: Like you're having sex.
Me: I don't care if it looks that way.
Dad: Is that because you're having sex?
Me: Yes.
HUGE can of worms... threats of kicking me out of the house.... a 2 hour preaching at about how I'm ruining my life. Fun, fun, fun!

I was much more open about my spiritual exploration... not that my folks wanted to hear it. Throughout high school, I tried to explain my dissatisfaction with their religion & how none of my questions where being answered so I was researching many different paths of spirituality. But they just kept going back to "there is only one true way" & "you just have to have faith" mantras.

I suppose I can appreciate a well built solid closet. I just don't want to live in one or even spend a lot of time visiting one.

Musing on being Child-Free

2009-03-17T12:35:00.003-05:00

I've been thinking a lot about my Child-Free stance in relation to dating. As I am Child-Free, is this something I should require of those I date? Or should I merely have a "no involvement with the kids" policy? As in, if someone I'm dating has kids, I make it very clear from the get-go that I will not be getting involved with the kids. I am not going to be a babysitter or 2nd mom to your kids. But I know that with most folks who live with and care for their kids that means our relationship will only be able to go so deep. The Artist argues that since one cannot control how one feels, this will most likely be a set-up for failure. But I argue that it might not matter. After all, I've not had a romantic/sexual relationship last longer than 2 years. Perhaps setting boundaries on my emotions will be a good thing.

But I know me... I like kids, we get along. There's a chance that if I hang out with the kids I will, without wanting to, become emotionally invested. So maybe, the policy should be, "no getting involved with breeders" since it's the over-population/uncontrolled breeding factor that I am philosophically against.

I was chatting/flirting with the Librarian about being child-free. The thing is, the Librarian is married with kids. The kids he acquired with the marriage. He is not a breeder. He is philosophically Child-Free and yet has kids. And not just "has kids" as unto, they exist but he's not all that involved in their lives. No. He, in fact, is a big part of their lives. He is deeply involved in raising & educating them. He's a really awesome guy & we have a lot in common, but that one thing... Maybe I should just see what happens.

Heathen Ink is having a GRAND OPENING Parrrrrrrr-Tay!!!!

2009-03-06T08:10:00.006-06:00

Bring In Spring With A Grand Opening!
Where: HeatheN Ink
5535 S. Archer Ave.
Summit, IL 60501
When: Saturday, March 21, 6:30PM

Come one, come all to:

HeatheN Ink
Check out the new digs, peruse the inventory, enjoy tasty treats & be entertained!

I'm ever so pleased to announce that Christina King, one of Chicago's premiere belly dancers, will be performing for us!

We'll be having Tattoo Stories from
the Chicago Writers' Coven featuring:
CSE Cooney
Shomari Black
Allison Lake
Jeanine Marie Vaughn

Enter our $1 Raffle for a variety of prizes including a $40 gift certificate for tattoos/piercings at HeatheN Ink!

Later in the evening, we have our very own rattle-the-roof, knock-your-socks-off band!
Saint Aviator featuring Meg Karma

Feel free to invite your friends, family, neighbors, coworkers... just anyone who needs some
HeatheN Ink!

If you have Tattoo or Piercing Queries, e-mail Bek:
gruecrow@yahoo.com
If you have any Event Questions, e-mail Jeanine:
talesoftaboo@gmail.com

Interesting Horoscope...

2009-02-24T15:36:00.005-06:00

"SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The world is once again falling deeply in love with you. Let's hope that on this occasion (unlike what happened the last two times) you will accept its adoration in the spirit in which it's given. Let's hope that if the world offers you the moon, the dawn, and the breeze, you won't reject these gifts and say that what you really wanted was a comet, the sunset, and a pie in the sky. There would be nothing sadder than to see the world suffer yet another case of unrequited love."

Rob Brezsny's Astrology - February 25, 2009 FreeWillAstrology.com

What I want...

2009-02-19T05:07:00.004-06:00

It's been a while since I posted and I'm having trouble sleeping, so here's a bit of the ramble from my head...

After dealing with the radioactive ooze of my last relationship*, I took some time off from dating. Or, rather, I've been taking time off. It was Fall... and then... it was Winter. I was planning to start dating again in Spring... make a fresh start of things and all that. But that was before the new job & The Artist getting her shop up and running. I might still do it, but I'm not sure. I had all these grand plans to spend lots and lots of time reassessing & reevaluating my romantic / sexual life... Figuring out patterns & habits that may or may not be unhealthy. I was going to dig deep and lay out a list of wants & requirements in what I want from or for a mate or... do I want a mate? Perhaps I want a more snack-centric romantic life. Just a few someones on the side to keep my lovelorn self in check. After all, The Artist is my primary partner and, while we are not sexually involved, she does fulfill my desire for a deep committed relationship quite nicely. Yet I have been thinking about just how lovely it would be to have a sweet sub-boy living with me (eventually, of course.... I have no desire to rush into these things) and a girlfriend who may or may not eventually live with us. The sub-boy & the girlfriend have no need to be involved with each other. In fact, after the heinous ending with the couple, I think it'll be quite a while before I'm ready to deal with anything that even hints of triad.

* excluding the relationship attempt with the Professor...
but that timing was off & my head was in a bad place.
Fortunately, we ended up friends.

And yet part of the reason I'm queer is because I don't like to judge a person by their plumbing. So could my sub-boy be a sub-girl or a transexual-sub? I think so. It is, after all, about the chemistry & the connection I have with the person. And the girlfriend could easily be a boyfriend... or maybe there won't even be a titling as such. And I don't have any desire to start two new relationships simultaneously, so which would be first? And would the "other" non-sub relationship be strictly vanilla? Can I do vanilla? It's been well over a decade since I've had a non-kink relationship. I don't think I even want something so tame. But is thinking like that limiting me?

Then there's the fact that I'm Child-Free. Is this something I should require in my partners? I tried dating someone who had a kid at one point, but there were all sorts of issues before things even got off the ground that had nothing to do with his daughter. So now I'm wondering, could I even date someone who has kids? I know for a fact that if I felt they were a bad parent, I would have to leave because I would feel the need to step in where I don't want / shouldn't be.

And what about the polyamory thing? I don't think I ever want to go back to monogamy, but am I limiting myself? I mean, there is that fact that my relationship with The Artist dictates that I have to be somewhat poly in order to date anyone. But could I date someone who's mono?

Here's a list of my dating requirements:

Must be honest, honorable & have a sense of humor (the 3 Hs!)
Must get along with The Artist
Must love animals (I do work at an animal shelter after all) & get along with my pets
Must be pagan friendly / pagan
Must be poly
Must be self-supporting
Must have mode of transportation (I will not be the chauffeur anymore)
Must have a passion of their own (i.e. writing, art, cooking, etc.)
Must appreciate my writing (no one's required to always like it... I sure as hell don't)
Must be sexually compatible

And here are my dating preferences:

get along with the Freak Family & my other friends/family
child-free
a die hard, knock my socks off, romantic
willing to eventually move in with me
compatible kinks

They're still tentative lists... but at least it's a beginning.

In the spirit...

2009-02-02T22:29:00.003-06:00

...of amazing women working on big projects. It only takes a few minutes. So, if you're eligible, please take the survey. Also, please consider reposting or forwarding this message to help out The Women’s Health Access Project (WHAP).

Are you a woman living in the United States?
Are you at least 18 years old?
Would you like to help in the effort to improve health care access?

We want to hear from you!

Melissa Howell, a graduate student in the Department of Sociology at Loyola University Chicago is conducting The Women’s Health Access Project (WHAP), a survey to gather information about what you think about your health, health care access, and how you make health care decisions. The more women who participate, the more information policymakers will have, so we hope you can help!

To complete an anonymous online questionnaire and join your voice with many others, please follow this link:

https://surveys.luc.edu/opinio6/s?s=WHAP

Spread the word! If you would like to invite other women to participate, please forward or post this message in its entirety.

If you have any questions, please contact the researcher, Melissa Howell, at Loyola University Chicago (mhowell1@luc.edu) or her faculty advisor, Dr. Anne Figert at afigert@luc.edu or (773) 508-3431.

Thank you for your help!

blog for choice day!

2009-01-22T23:31:00.002-06:00

It's blog for choice day. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the freedom of choice act passes and this issue gets settled as a private one between patient and doctor, as it should be. It's always been my belief that a child is too important a decision to ever be an accident. Also, what happens in my lady bits is definitely not a matter of societal concern!

A Year Ago Today...

2009-01-22T22:17:00.002-06:00

"Crumbs in my Cleavage" had her first post! And while I've struggled with keeping things going, I have not abandoned my baby blog... especially not today on her BIRTHDAY!!! Thank you, dear readers, for reading and commenting and putting up with my erratic erotic postings. (I'm working towards less erratic & more erotic.)

Your faithful scribe,
Ninian

2009-01-01T05:41:00.001-06:00

Much to tell... But for now:

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

And... I go to bed.
Nitey-nite!

New Job!

2008-12-14T20:36:00.004-06:00

Friday, I started my new job at a local animal shelter. I am exhausted but elated! It's working with / helping animals and it's close to my house and it's full time and it's regular hours. Having quite my glut of part time jobs, I'll be finishing up the last of that work by the end of this month so I should be able to get back to a somewhat regular writing schedule (and start writing erotica again) at least by the beginning of the new year.

I may also start a blog of stories from the shelter. (I've only been there for 3 days and I already have tales to tell.) If you think you might be interested in reading that, leave me a comments. Thanks!

>^,,^<

Life focus

2008-12-07T06:20:00.005-06:00

Dear Readers,

As you may or may not have noticed, I've not been keeping a regular writing schedule. There are several excuses... I mean, reasons for this, but the most time consuming is that I'm in the process of changing several aspects of my life's focus and completely changing my career. If all goes well, I'll have everything sorted and settled by next week. If things do not go well, I'll probably cry, get over it, dust myself off, reevaluate the situation and see what else is out there for me... and take a little bit longer to get back to some semblance of a regular writing schedule.

One of my reasons for all these changes is to have more time to write & more time for the business aspects of writing. You know, little things like keeping up with my blog and sending my writing out to be published.

I thank you, dear readers, for your understanding and patience. Without you, this is merely an exercise. I love the feedback I get here and look forward to all the wonderful comments!

Your faithful (yet distracted) author,
Ninian

The Ice Queen Cometh

2008-11-30T20:25:00.007-06:00

Dripping sweat and snow

The sky flashes cobalt
I will be the Ice Queen

For my soul is tender
Stripped paper thin
I close my eyes
In wonder
Inside my folds
I do not abstain
Origami orgasms

Alone

The beginnings of Dominance

2008-11-27T00:49:00.006-06:00

When I was in kindergarten, I would ride my bike to school with my older sister and her friends. She was in second grade and, the two sisters we biked along side of, were in third and forth grade. My sister shared their reserved shyness while I was abrasively outgoing. I hadn't quite discovered the usefulness of tact or figured out how to censor myself. My sister's friends were too polite to tell me that some of my thoughtless comments had offended them.

My sister had no such reservations.

"If you weren't my sister, we wouldn't ride with you." ...and... "Sometimes I wish you weren't born." ...and... "Why can't you just shut up?" ...were things she'd say after we got home. It got to the point where I tried not to speak during our rides to and from school.

One day, as we were heading to our bikes, we saw the school bullies standing next to the bike racks. There were five of them. Four were fourth and fifth graders who looked like they'd been taking steroids since birth. Then there was Michael, a third grader who was shorter and younger than his friends. He had inherited the leadership position from his brother who was now at the middle school. Michael was mean and leading came naturally to him. But he was clever too. Unlike his brother who often got their gang of friends in trouble, Michael always made sure they never started anything nor were caught doing the same thing two days in a row. Instead of aggressively attacking anyone, they would obstruct the path to the bikes from different places and on different days. Then they'd tease and make fun of the other students. Eventually, a kid would get frustrated and try to push past one of them, just wanting to get to the bikes. But from that push, a fight would start.

My sister and her friends decided that it was best to hide and wait until the boys left before even approaching the bike racks.

After a few months of this, I was fed up. It was spring where we lived just outside of Houston, Texas which meant it was hot and humid. I was tired of running back and forth, checking to see if the boys had left as my sister and her friends waited inside in the air conditioning. I was tired of watching other kids get beat up. I was tired of seeing good kids getting into trouble for starting the fights and the bullies getting away with it. I was tired and I was going to do something about it. Fighting hadn't worked and wasn't my style, so I came up with plan.

Instead of lurking by the swings with my sister and her friends, when I saw that Michael and his friends were playing the bike blocking game, I marched over to him. His friends saw no threat in a 6 year old girl, so they let me past them. Michael didn't even move from the bike rack he was leaning against, he just cocked a eyebrow.

"Whachoo want, pip squeak?" He chewed on a fingernail.

I swallowed. "I need my bike." The boys laughed. Their smug laughter pissed me off. Putting my hand on my hip, I stared at Michael. "You and your friends need to stop bulling people. You need to get away from the bikes or..."

"Or what?" He hopped down from his perch and crouched so that his crooked nose was inches from mine. "What's a little thing like you gonna do?"

I wrapped my arms around his head and planted a sloppy wet kiss on his lips. He jerked away and took off screaming.

Balling up my fists, I glared at each of the goons. "So who's next?" I puckered my lips and blew kisses at them. "Who else wants to get cooties?"

They shook their heads and walked away. My sister and her friends ran over, laughing and congratulating me. Several people shouted, "She scared them off with a kiss!"

After that day, those boys avoided me like a plague and never staked out the bikes again.

I don't embarrass easily but...

2008-11-15T01:15:00.005-06:00

Tonight when I came home, I heard *rustle, rustle* then giggles as someone rushed off to the bathroom. Sitting on the couch with her eyes wide and her mouth pursed in a half smirk, was my roommate. She had the fuzzy red blanket over her lap. Looking back over her shoulder at the wall mounted clock then back at me, she blurted.

"I thought you weren't coming home until later!"

I shrugged. "I was going to go out after the event, but I decided I was too tired and..." I realized she wasn't wearing pants... or even panties. I glance towards the bathroom. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to..." She and the boyfriend in the bathroom started giggling simultaneously. I blushed. Not because I interrupted them having sex, but because they felt like they needed to stop. "Seriously! You didn't have to stop. You could have kept having sex. I wouldn't care. I.."

She laughed. "You shouldn't have to come home and find someone having sex on the couch. Then again, I wasn't expecting you home right now." The laugh was echoed in the bathroom. I started giggling too.

Then, as I went to the bathroom, they scampered upstairs to resume the coitus I'd interrupted. I grinned.

bedtime musings

2008-11-09T20:04:00.009-06:00

What do you to wear to bed?

My friend prefers to sleep naked if it's not too cold to do so. An ex of mine usually wore boxers to bed unless he was planning on "gettin' some". I knew a girl who, well into her 20s, wore footy pajamas. A night gown is the garment of preference for my sister.

I tend to wear a teeshirt, thin sleep pants and, if it's cold, socks. I have a sweater that is so worn and holey it's barely a garment at all. I wear it on nights when I feel... full of fret. Something about it tosses me back to my childhood. I never had a special blankey or, even though I had several stuffed animals (I was never a doll girl), I didn't have a favorite among them. But something about that sad black velvet sweater makes me feel cozy. Whenever I wear that sweater, I never know how I'm going to wake-up. Sometimes I wake refreshed, sometimes with a need to write, sometimes angry at the world.... And then there are the times when I wake-up completely turned on. The problem is, I rarely remember the dreams I have when I wear my sweater. I like remembering my dreams.

just 'cause

2008-11-06T23:25:00.006-06:00

I started writing a post, but it just wasn't coming together and I decided that since tomorrow's my birthday, I'm gonna instead wish myself

! Happy Birthday! "

Kinky Quiz

2008-11-04T23:30:00.002-06:00

Your result for The How Kinky Are You Really Test...

Master/Mistress

You scored 85% Kinkiness!

Whether you are a top or bottom, you have Mastered the kink. Maybe a bit too much for most people. You know about everything I covered and much, much more. If you have a critique or would like to talk to me more about Fetish/BDSM/taboos, please feel free. Congratulations, you've peaked my interest.

Take The How Kinky Are You Really Test at HelloQuizzy

My First Ex-Con (part 2)

2008-11-02T23:25:00.002-06:00

There’s nothing like a humid Houston day in a kitchen to make a body feel like the skin’s melting. I could smell myself over the cooking burgers and wanted nothing more than to get away from the hot grill. But the day manager, Greg, had decided a busy Saturday afternoon was a great time for some cross training.

Joe was on drive-thru with him and I was on the grill with Al.

“It’s pretty simple,” Al said handing me the spatula. “Unlike when I worked as a chef, all the meat here gets cooked the same way. Just make sure there’s not any pink anywhere and your good.”

I nodded, smirking inwardly at his sideways bragging. We went through all the steps of putting a sandwich together and, accompanying each step, was an anecdote about a past profession or life adventure. According to Al, he’d been a chef in a fancy restaurant, a short order cook, on the maintenance crew for the Empire State building, a musician with his own band, a soldier, on a landscaping crew, a lifeguard and the member of a biker gang.

“But now, I’m just trying to rebuild my life.” He pursed his lips and regarded me as I continued to slap patties into their beds of lettuce and buns. “I, um, kinda lost a good portion of my life for a while.” His regard turned into a hard stare. “Do you know why?”

Placing a hand on my hip, I turned and looked him in the eyes. “Is it because,” I cocked an eyebrow, “you were in jail?”

“Yes.” He looked away from me. “And now you probably want nothing to do with me.”

“Um… Actually, Monique told me on my second day. I didn’t care then and I don’t care now.” I turned back to putting orders together.

“Oh.”

I could feel his eye on me, but I didn’t turn around. I practically jumped as a hand touched my shoulder.

“Oh sorry!” Greg yanked back, his stubby mustache twitching. “I’m just giving you my headset so I can take my break. I’m leaving Joe on drive-thru and I think he’ll be fine, but if he’s having trouble, you be sure and help him out. Al’ll be fine on the grill by himself. Won’t you Al?”

Al snapped his heels together and saluted. “Aye, aye, captain!”

Greg rolled his eyes, handed me his headset and walked away. Grabbing the wet wipes from under the back counter, I cleaned the earpiece and mic before putting it on.

“Hey Al.” Joe motioned out the drive-thru window. “She’s back.”

Al handed me the spatula. “You got things here?”

I nodded. He rushed over to the window and stuck his head out into the bright daylight. I heard a woman’s hearty laughter coming from the window. Quickly throwing together the last order, I inched closer to the drive-thru area.

“Hey beautiful! Where were you the other night?” He managed to squeeze an arm and a shoulder out through the window and I could just make out a woman leaning in to kiss him. I didn’t know what she was saying but her voice sounded familiar. I moved closer and peaked out the window as he pulled back in through the window.

I couldn’t be sure, but the girl in the jeep looked like my sister’s friend, Sunshine. As she drove away, Joe and Al talked about her. Or rather, Al talked and Joe nodded. They seemed to have forgotten that I was there at all.

“Those freckles, man, they’re like a treasure trail! I followed that trail.” He shook his head and sighed. “That trail was worth the follow. The treasure… her treasure…” He closed his eyes and spoke with the reverence of a priest. “I nibbled from her collarbone along the V into her cleavage then kissed all over as they scatter over her breasts and ribs. I bit them as they circled her belly. I licked the arrow of freckles that led from her bellybutton to her panties.” He licked his lips. “And man, let me tell you, there was quite the treasure in those panties.”

Joe cleared his throat and, when Al opened his eyes, jerked his head towards me. I had gone back to the grill to work on the front counter orders and was pretending like I wasn’t paying attention.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Al nod. “To be continued.” He whispered then returned to his work at the grill.

I rolled my eyes. “Listen, I’ve got things here if you wanna keep talking to Jo about Sunshine.”

His eyes widened in surprise. “You know her?”

I gulped wondering if maybe I shouldn’t have revealed that fact. But it was too late to take it back now. I shrugged, not looking at him. “She goes to my church.”

He looked back over at Joe and they shared a laugh. “I had no idea a girl like her went to church.”

I shrugged. I went to church because my parents made me; Sunshine went because she actually wanted to.

“Well, I shouldn’t talk about things like that in front of a sweet thing like you.”

I mumbled, “Maybe I’m not so sweet.”

He leaned in until I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. “What was that?”

I stepped away from him and flipped around. “Look, I’ve got to go to the bathroom. I’m sure you can handle things here, right?” I mock saluted him and walked away to the sound of him and Joe laughing.